


Gimme!

by merrythoughts, ReallyMissCoffee



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Anal Sex, Cheating, Eventual Happy Ending, First Love, Flashbacks, Getting Back Together, M/M, Minor Liam Dunbar/Hayden Romero, Porn with Feelings, Sweet, Theo is a Little Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 00:48:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 47,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21838597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merrythoughts/pseuds/merrythoughts, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReallyMissCoffee/pseuds/ReallyMissCoffee
Summary: "Feeling crazy isn't a bad thing. It's amazing what the courts will give you for an insanity plea," Theo says lowly. He presses his palm flat to Liam's back, possessive, maybe protective. "Besides... you feel it too, don't you? I can see it in your eyes. You're not done with this any more than I am."
Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken
Comments: 35
Kudos: 85





	1. Sensory memory

**Author's Note:**

> Finally finished Teen Wolf, realized we're now Thiam trash. We have a post s6 canon 'verse story in the works that we're not going to publish until we're nearly done, but in the meantime, we have this little cheating-getting-back-together no powers AU that will be a few chapters. Coffee's not a fan of cheating fics in general, but I wrangled her into this. ;D 
> 
> Sorry Hayden, you weren't bad for a Jeff Davis female character, but Theo belongs with Liam... (─‿─)
> 
> Rating is for later chapters where there is smut. - merry  
> \------  
>  **Disclaimer:** This is another merrythoughts & ReallyMissCoffee production. In case you don't know us, just a heads up: this is written first and foremost as an alternating roleplay between us which doesn't necessarily translate smoothly into an easily digestible or traditional fic format.
> 
> At times the flow can be jarring - we know - but please forgo any constructive criticism regarding the format. We are choosing to share our work and if you like it, you like it, if not, press the back button and try something else as we have no interest in attempting to fic-ify our stories and cut down on the introspection/words etc. Thanks! :).  
> \------  
> Theo written by _ReallyMissCoffee_ , Liam written by _merrythoughts_

Technically, he's cheating and it sucks. Emotional cheating, but it's still cheating. Liam's never cheated before and he feels absolutely scuzzy about it because cheating _is_ despicable. Until he'd been put in this situation, it always seemed easy - if _you_ want to sleep around or date someone else, don't stay in the current relationship you're in. Just end it and move on. Simple, right?

The problem is... He's been with Hayden for seven years and they're really comfortable - things are comfortable. It's not perfect and all lovey-dovey but after seven years, some of that spark fizzles. It's totally understandable!

The real problem is _Theo Raeken_. Liam's first love and first big heart break. Ugh. He doesn't even like thinking about it. Theo had moved away for college and while they'd _tried_ to do the long-distance thing, Liam had sucked at it. He'd been sixteen when Theo had left and six months later, over the phone, Liam had broken up with Theo. That'd been nine years ago. Liam had found Hayden and made a go at it with her because why not?

Hayden's at least living in the same city as him. Liam's a carpenter and he's been working for McCall Construction for the past three years - life's been good - Scott's a great boss and he's learned a lot. It's hard work but rewarding.

The inescapable problem is that McCall's latest contract is an addition to a Mr. Raeken's house. Apparently Theo's moved back and he's now a big fancy lawyer and Liam's on the job (because life must hate him). He's actually gotten together with Theo a few times for drinks over these past weeks to catch up and there's apparently _still_ feelings - at least for him. It's driving him crazy because Liam doesn't know if it's one-sided. Theo hasn't put any moves on him or made any indication, and Liam's not supposed to have feelings because he loves Hayden but somehow his heart has other plans.

Despite the obvious success Theo has, Liam doesn't let it bother him. Or at least that's what he tries. He's twenty-five and he has a career and a pretty nice apartment and a great girlfriend and good friends. Life is good - _his_ life is good. Maybe he's not all Mr. Suave and Rich and maybe he's wearing faded jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt with a plaid button-down shirt over it, but he's still hot.

Liam rings Theo's doorbell and tries to not fidget which he kinda fails miserably at as he waits. He shouldn't be here - shouldn't be hanging out with Theo again - but he can't turn away. He rang the doorbell. He's here.

* * *

People always say that you never forget your first, and that's true even if Theo doesn't want it to be. It doesn't matter how many years it's been, and it doesn't matter that Liam Dunbar had been a ghost that he'd burned and buried years ago, despite how easily Theo had fallen for him when they'd been younger. Despite a few relationships since, it's hard to forget someone as _genuine_ as Liam, but Theo had tried.

They'd been young and stupid, and it had been horrible timing to get into a relationship to begin with. Theo had already gotten accepted into an undergraduate program; he'd already built up credits for college before even finishing high school, and then this angry, genuine, combative little fucker had just drop-kicked his way into Theo's life like nobody's business.

It had been good even if it had been quick. Intense, serious, probably _way_ heavier than two kids should have ever needed to face, and it had burned out the way it had started - with intensity.

Theo can still remember the phone call, can still remember the way that Liam had sounded that night that Liam had broken it all off. _Theo_ had tried, had pushed, had fought for it. He'd done what he could to make time for Liam despite cramming for classes, and he'd all but killed himself doing it, but it had been _worth_ it to him.

Just not to Liam.

Cut to a few horrible decisions, badly-chosen rebounds, a degree, a graduate degree, and a short apprenticeship - all containing way too much alcohol, a bit too much casual sex, and more than his fair share of depressive all-nighters - and he's here. He's back in the city he'd needed to move away from all those years ago, back to where he'd at least come _close_ to having a home despite the foster system and the lingering rumors surrounding his sister's death.

The sheriff's department welcomes him back with hesitance. There's old jokes - about lawyers being sharks, about lawyers giving the devil a run for his money - and Theo can see them all in the eyes of the deputies he greets, but that's fine. He knows his own sense of morality has always been slightly skewed. His court-mandated psychologist had once told him that trauma does that to you, but clearly his reputation precedes him. It's all water under the bridge - a painful metaphor, now - but Theo rolls with it. He finds a place - one that he can build an addition onto for a possible income property - and he settles into his new life.

Until Theo opens the door one day after a phone call from his contractor and sees _Liam Dunbar_ standing there - older, still baby-faced, looking wary and confused and hesitant - and everything changes.

It's been weeks now, weeks of later nights, of Theo staring and Liam pointedly _not_ looking at him. Of Theo unable to help but flirt a little, bitter but still easily falling into old habits.

He learns about Hayden through the grapevine, and that same week is the first time that Theo damns the consequences and invites Liam out for drinks. He isn't expecting Liam to say _yes_ , but when he _does_ , well... it's the start of something.

And when Theo catches Liam staring at his lips later that night, alcohol making them both a little stupid, Theo _knows_ , and he suddenly doesn't give a shit about social conventions or his own hurt feelings. He's not done with Liam. So, this last time, when work unfortunately gets in the way of one of their outings, Theo invites Liam to his place for drinks instead.

And, when he opens the door following the ring of his doorbell and takes in the sight of Liam in more casual clothing - a stark contrast to Theo's business casual - Theo invites him in, knowing that this is different.

"I'd offer to take your coat, but you're not wearing one," he says in greeting, closing the door behind Liam and stepping around him. "You want a drink? I don't have anything you can throw a frilly little umbrella into, but I've got beer and wine and spiced rum."

* * *

Yeah yeah, it's a bad idea to see Theo like this, not only because of what they _used_ to be, but because Theo's a client. Liam is working on a job for Theo. Or rather Scott's contacting it and Liam's been assigned and there's probably some rule about this kind of thing. Not that they're doing anything bad - because they're not - nothing's happened and that's kinda the problem because Liam _wants_ things to happen.

And he shouldn't. Because he sucks at lying, he has already told Hayden about reconnecting with an old friend. She'd been happy for him and totally unsuspecting because Liam's never been a shithead.

Until now, because when Theo comes to the door looking all hot and dressed up, Liam blatantly stares. As in, ogles. If Mason were here, he'd be teasing the hell out of Liam, but Liam can't help it! Theo has always been attractive and it's only worse now that he's older. Theo has filled out more, he's got some suave facial hair going on too - not quite a full beard-moustache thing, but it's still hot. Theo's hair always seems to be on point (no pun intended) and he exudes an easy going confidence that Liam is honestly jealous over.

Thankfully Liam is able to step inside with incident and he makes an effort to roll his eyes at the no coat comment.

"Hey, just because I liked virgin long island iced teas back then doesn't mean I want a frilly drink," Liam says as he works off his shoes.

* * *

This isn't innocent. Not on Theo's end. And, if he's been reading Liam's expressions right over the last few weeks, it's not innocent on Liam's end even if he might want it to be. Theo's no stalker, but he _has_ read up on Hayden. While he hadn't asked Liam outright about her, he has heard enough about her through the grapevine to know that she's a very driven, no-nonsense person, with a dry sense of humor. He'd seen a picture of her on a deputy's phone the last time he'd been in the precinct.

It is very clear that Liam hasn't moved on as much as he might think he has. And, though Theo knows the way people would look at him were he to push this, he _absolutely_ plans on pushing it. He has nothing against Hayden, but there's still something here, between him and Liam. Theo intends to find out what it is.

So, when Liam rolls his eyes and offers a vague protest, Theo shakes his head and walks past the foyer, into the lounge. He has a small bar there (both for the _bar_ exam jokes, _and_ because of his aforementioned stumble into alcohol as a coping mechanism) and he makes an executive decision as he considers his options.

The rose that Theo chooses is sweet enough to melt teeth at 300 paces, and he hadn't bought it for himself. He pours Liam a glass of it and pours some red wine for himself, though admittedly that's more for the aesthetics of it than the taste. He walks it over to Liam, holding out the glass with a prompting little raise of his eyebrows.

"Pretty sure that I remember what you liked," Theo teases back, his tone lazier, bordering on smug. "Go on, give it a try. Tell me I'm wrong."

* * *

Liam does want a frilly drink - at least when it's up against beer because _yuck_ , _gross_. It's not his fault that frilly drinks taste like alcoholic punch and who doesn't like punch? Punch is like juice elevated and everyone likes ladelling out punch. The few times they've gone out, it hasn't always been for alcohol - they did coffee once at this overpriced and overhip spot that confused the hell out of Liam. Anyway, Liam _has_ had mixed drinks when they've been at a club or a bar (but none of them had umbrellas!).

While Theo has been a little flirty, it's not been like, Theo putting the moves on him. Liam has no clue if Theo is still into him or angry at him or what his game is. Liam has always had a difficult time trying to read Theo and it's no different now. Actually, it's probably worse because Liam is busy second guessing himself and looking for clues and then arguing against any that he may find because what if he's just looking too hard? It's been an exhausting and a weirdly addicting thing.

Case in point, he'd hadn't wanted to cancel tonight and now he's here. Liam's already familiar with the public areas of Theo's house, but he follows him anyway into the lounge. Liam glances around as Theo busies himself in selecting some kind of drink. There's bar stools and a chaise lounge as well as a weird bamboo looking chair but before Liam can decide if or where he should sit, wine is being offered to him.

He takes it and sniffs as he gives Theo an appraising look. After a curious sip, Liam declares, "it's not bad for wine... But you're still a snob for having all this shit. I would have been fine with rum and coke."

Still, Liam takes a drink, a small smile playing on his lips because Theo hadn't been wrong.

* * *

There's a single moment as Theo hands Liam his drink that he intentionally brushes their fingers together. It's fleeting, more for him than for Liam, but he takes in the difference between _this_ man and the teenager he'd left behind years ago. As he watches Liam appraise the drink, Theo quickly drinks _him_ in.

There are calluses on Liam's fingers, rougher than they had been before, and he's much more built than he was back in high school. From where Theo's standing, he can see the faintest glimpse of chest hair from Liam's t-shirt, which is _definitely_ new, and all in all, Liam looks similar, just... refined, perhaps. He looks good.

Yet when Liam takes a sip of his wine and Theo catches the quickest glimpse of pleasure in Liam's eyes, he smirks to himself, pleased. Not _everything_ has changed. Even almost a decade later, he still knows Liam's tastes.

"I mean, I could still give you rum and coke, but I remember what a lightweight you were then. You're not much better now, and unless you want to crash here, or risk me pouring you into a cab later, best to stick with wine."

Theo lifts his own glass in a sort of makeshift salute and then takes a sip, smirking at Liam over the rim of the glass.

Theo takes a step back and gestures to the sofa in invitation. All it takes is a press of a button on a remote beside the sofa for an electric fireplace along the far wall to flicker to life. Theo adjusts the temperature settings mindlessly, aware that a fireplace in California isn't the _smartest,_ but the light it casts does set a certain mood.

Yeah, he's laying it on thick. He hadn't exactly been able to do anything like this back in high school.

"C'mon. Sit with me," Theo invites smoothly. "I'm sure you've had a long day, right? Take a load off."

* * *

A lounge-slash-bar room isn't even half of it... The clothes, the house (that's only getting bigger with an addition), the neighborhood, the career, the car. Theo is living the high life in all of its glory. Liam makes _decent_ money, but nothing compared to what Theo is taking in. He's not jealous - Theo had worked his ass off in school for scholarships, to prove himself, and Liam's sure that his education hadn't been a walk in the park either. Liam is glad that Theo is successful and can enjoy nicer shit (which hadn't been the case with Theo's foster family).

But Liam _does_ feel out of place - not like he's some stain upon Theo's perfect life - just like... He doesn't know where they stand? Technically they're ex's, but they're also friends, right? Liam hadn't told Hayden the ex's part (but he does wonder how much she'd even care...). Hanging out with an ex and being their friend years after the breakup doesn't seem like such a horrible idea, but it totally is because Liam is apparently not over Theo and all Liam wants to do is have sex in every stupid room in Theo's fancy schmancy house.

It's a problem.

Liam says nothing about the lightweight comment because his brain is telling him things like - _drink, make a pass at him and then if it goes bad, blame it on the rum and if it goes well, you can crash in Theo's bed, win-win!_

And no. Liam can't do that. Won't do that.

But he is following Theo like a bit of a dazed puppy, sitting beside Theo on the sofa. The whole electric fireplace is... A silly but nice touch. It adds ambience to the room, the lights flickering over Theo's face attractively. And it's been so long since he's touched Theo, that every little point of contact - a brush of fingers or whatever - gets him going.

Liam takes a bigger swig of the wine, completely aware that he's supposed to be sipping it, but whatever. He needs this.

"You should stop seeing me like this," Liam then blurts out because he's gotta try.

* * *

A long time ago, Theo had learned how to read Liam. Maybe it had taken him some time, and he'd definitely earned a black eye and a bloody nose at multiple points because he'd pressed too hard and pushed too far. Over time, though, he'd figured it out. He'd pushed until Liam had _almost_ broken but he hadn't pushed beyond that, and bit by bit, he'd learned how to toe that line. Anger had become tension, and tension had soon turned sexual, and the rest had been history.

Theo doesn't think that's changed. Despite everything that they've been through, and the years of being apart, when Liam follows him to sit on the sofa and casts Theo a small look, Theo can tell that Liam is conflicted. Maybe he can't read Liam as well as he'd been able to once, but he can read him a bit. He can read him enough that when Liam takes a bigger drink of his wine, Theo knows that something is coming.

Sure enough, Liam blurts out what he does, his voice tense, but also a little desperate. He talks quick, like he hopes that if he says it fast enough that Theo will just accept it, but the thing is... Theo doesn't _care_. He doesn't _care_ that Liam is supposedly with Hayden. He doesn't _care_ about what's right and what's wrong.

He cares that Liam is here, voluntarily, in his house, drinking his wine, and looking at him like he's something that Liam had lost a long time ago.

Theo glances at Liam, consideringly, and takes a drink from his wine. Then, pointedly, as though the action is intended to be a sort of punctuation, Theo sets the glass down on the side table and then leans back on the sofa, reaching up to pointedly undo the top button of his white dress shirt.

"Hmm... No, I don't think I want to do that. Besides, if I should stop seeing you like this, I think that means by default that you should stop seeing me, right? You didn't _have_ to come over tonight, just like you didn't _have_ to say yes to all the times I've invited you out for drinks."

Theo shifts, leaning in just a bit closer under the guise of giving Liam his full attention. "If it bothers you that much, shouldn't _you_ be saying no? So... why haven't you?"

* * *

Liam does have to try to stop this. Or should try. Needs to try. Wants to try? No, not so much that one. Despite what he's just said, he doesn't _want_ Theo to stop showing interest and seeing him like this. That actually sounds really shitty. Then they'd only see each other in passing - while on the job and only while Theo happens to be home - and then after the addition was built, they'd never talk again? Hard pass.

Just because he'd been the one to break up with Theo back then doesn't mean that he all of a sudden stopped liking (loving) Theo. They should just be friends now. They could do it. They have been doing it! It's just a friendly get together where they drink beverages - sometimes coffee, sometimes alcohol. No big deal.

Except for the fact that Liam can't help but remember how it felt to kiss Theo or how they used to have all-night weekend movie marathons but Liam always fell asleep first and he _wants_ that again. God, the list of _wants_ is growing and it ranges from fucking in every single one of Theo's rooms to clinging onto Theo like some barnacle and forcing Theo to tell him about everything he'd not been around for.

He hadn't expected to see Theo again. That's the problem. It's just hitting Liam all of a sudden. Despite what he's just said, Theo doesn't look surprised or taken back or anything. Theo just takes a sip of his wine and then places his glass down. It gets worse because Theo casually undoes one of his buttons and no-- no, this isn't supposed to happen. Liam shifts, staring as Theo launches into a reply.

And this reply is all lawyer-y and well-crafted and Liam's pulse is picking up as Theo leans closer and just turns the question around on him. Liam knows what he should say. It'd be a lie, but he could do it…

He doesn't do it.

"I don't want to stop... seeing you," is what Liam murmurs. "But you already know that."

* * *

It's a risk, but Theo's gotten really good at taking those lately. You don't get the worst clients off free when they're guilty as sin by playing _fair_ , and while he doesn't have many of those cases to his name, he does have a few. Theo's always been good at bullshitting, has always been good at twisting a situation to his advantage and manipulating the system. It had been how he'd fooled the school system for a year that his foster parents had been caring for him, that he _hadn't_ been sleeping in his truck and showering in the school's locker rooms.

Theo hasn't had an easy life, but he's made the most of it, and he's done it _his_ way. Some of his risks hadn't turned into rewards, and he'd dealt with those. Rolling the die on life isn't going to get him a perfect seven every time. Sometimes life rolls snake-eyes, and it sucks, but he's always picked himself back up and forged ahead.

Theo takes risks when it _matters_. And as he looks at Liam and sees the flicker of _want_ in his eyes, of muted longing that Theo had once been bitterly convinced that he'd never see again, he knows that this is the risk that matters the most.

It doesn't matter that Liam is a carpenter. It doesn't matter that Liam is in t-shirts while Theo is in pressed dress shirts. It doesn't matter that Liam _has_ a long-term girlfriend and Theo is single.

Liam's worth the risk. And if the way that Liam answers is any indication, he understands.

"Yeah. I do," Theo says, and while his tone starts out slightly smug, it doesn't stay there. Instead, it slides down, settling into something softer, something more coaxing as he sets his free hand on the sofa and pushes himself smoothly closer. Their knees just barely touch, Liam's jeans warm against Theo's black slacks.

"You know what else I know? I know that you don't actually like rum and coke, but you tried it that one time because you wanted to look cool in front of me. I know you _like_ those frilly drinks, and coffee with syrups and sugars and whipped cream. I know you didn't actually _need_ me to pay for your coffee and drinks the other night, but you liked how it felt. And," Theo adds, lower, meeting Liam's eyes. "I know that you want to kiss me _just_ as much as I want to kiss you."

* * *

No, no, no, no. This isn't what Liam is supposed to be saying and doing. And if it was just like, _'oh, the guy's hot_ ' and Liam wants some gay action, that'd be one thing, but it's not. They haven't _done_ anything super cheater-ish (yet). Nothing physical or sexual, but that's not the problem. Because Liam has feelings and he'd known it the first time he'd learned just who this latest project was for. _Theo Raeken._ Like back from the dead, even though Theo hadn't ever died, but Liam had practically murdered their friendship _and_ relationship.

Fuck. He'd been a dumb sixteen-year-old and long-distance had sucked. Only relying on texts, e-mails and phone calls? And Liam remembers hearing how unlikely it was for highschool _anythings_ to work out, so why would Theo and him have been any different? Mason had tried to encourage him to hang on, but the idea of needing to wait _years_ had seemed impossible at the time.

But nine years later and he's on Theo's couch feeling like an idiot and feeling way too many things. Guilt is there, somewhere, but it's buried underneath everything else and everything else is currently winning.

Unfortunately, Liam's always been Captain Obvious and Theo's always been sharp, so yeah, Liam knows that Theo knows that he wants to be here. When Theo angles himself toward Liam, it's such a simple action, but it has their knees touching and Liam's frozen, eyes wide as he stares at Theo. This hotter, older version, but it's still Theo. Still the guy that knows that he _does_ like frilly drinks and delicious flavored coffee and yeah, he'd also _liked_ Theo paying for his drinks because it had been sweet, and Liam knows how much it had actually meant to Theo to be _able to_ pay for them.

Their eyes meet and Liam feels spellbound. It feels like one of those pivotal starting scenes in a game where the main character makes the decision to give up everything and head out on the journey - but Theo isn't just some quest and Liam isn't some noble kid who's gonna grow up into a hero.

"Yeah... totally," is all Liam breathes out and then it's him jerking forward to put down his wine glass on the floor (it's closer than the side table), but now that his hands are free and Theo's right there, Liam's not entirely sure what to do. For a second he's a deer in headlights before he's reaching out and grasping Theo's shoulders and leaning forward.

But Liam doesn't kiss Theo, instead, he rests his forehead against Theo's chest, his eyes tightly shut, essentially hiding. "God, just being around you... I feel crazy."

* * *

It doesn't matter that Liam has been with Hayden for longer than he'd ever been with Theo. That isn't the point. The _point_ is that Theo knows Liam, that despite being this quick, all-encompassing obsession in his youth, he'd never missed who Liam was. They'd fought, they'd come to blows, and Theo had been defensive and quick to get frustrated when it had come to issues of money. He'd wanted to get out, to find his own way in life, to _really_ win, but he hadn't wanted to do it at Liam's expense.

Then Liam had made that phone call, and while Theo hadn't broken apart - while he'd been stone-faced and driven in the months that followed - he'd felt hollow and angry inside. It hadn't been a particularly healthy few months. Only the threat of failing in school and losing all of his opportunities had kept him going, but he'd still been shattered by the whole damn thing.

But he still knows Liam. He _knows_ him, beyond the muscles and the slightly-longer hair and the more developed jawline. And maybe it's reckless to just come out and say it, but Theo doesn't care. Now feels like the time, and as Theo watches Liam's expression crumple and pinch with emotion, he expects... _something_. He's not sure what, but something. So, watching Liam suddenly set the glass down, when Liam turns back to him, Theo just watches him, expectant.

He expects Liam to lean in and kiss him. He expects Liam to grab him and expects to re-learn the taste and feeling of Liam's lips against his.

So, when strong hands grab his shoulders and then Liam leans in, Theo isn't expecting Liam to just... hide. He tenses in surprise, glancing down at the top of Liam's head. Yet even through his surprise, Theo feels the familiar warmth of Liam's body against him, hot and comforting, and he shivers, closing his eyes.

He waits only for a second, then reaches out, winding his arm around Liam's back. Theo pulls him in closer, feeling the way that Liam's shoulders might be broader and his core might be stronger, but also feeling the way that he _fits_ against Theo the same way he always had.

"Feeling crazy isn't a bad thing. It's amazing what the courts will give you for an insanity plea," Theo says lowly. He presses his palm flat to Liam's back, possessive, maybe protective. "Besides... you feel it too, don't you? I can see it in your eyes. You're not done with this any more than I am."

* * *

It's just... What exactly _is_ he doing? Liam is hiding like a toddler. Theo might be older than him, but it's not by that much, just two years. But even now, it feels like more than that because Liam is acting like a kid. Back then, Theo had come across as older - not always more mature - but definitely older. Liam hadn't understood first, he hadn't known about all the struggles and secrets Theo fought hard to keep to himself. Liam likely still doesn't know _all_ of them, but he knows some and Theo hadn't been exactly pleased by Liam playing nosy detective.

Kissing would probably be safer than whatever he's currently doing. That thought is an unpleasant one. Cheaters just kiss and fuck and go for it like the scum they are. If he's going to be a cheater, Liam should just suck it up and go all in - but he can't. Or at least he can't right now. And even though the word _cheater_ is attached to a scummy feeling, nothing about _this_ feels bad.

This, right now, being this close to Theo, touching him, feeling how real Theo is... it's scary. Liam _does_ feel crazy because this is like someone has just given him a small dose of heroin and Liam is already hungering for more. How could _this_ ever be enough when Liam remembers how it feels to makeout with Theo until his lips were sore? Or how it felt waking up with Theo spooned around him? Liam had tapped the spot on Theo's finger where a wedding ring would go, he'd grinned at Theo and given him a wink... God, he'd been so smitten and naive at sixteen, thinking he was super lucky for finding his soulmate.

Theo may initially tense from this impromptu contact, but like he did in the past, Theo doesn't leave him hanging. Arms are wrapped around Liam and he's pulled closer - closer to what he wants, closer to Theo. Liam hears the little joke and he almost gives a snort, but he can't. Liam _is_ crazy for doing this, for chasing after some guy from his past and putting his future in jeopardy.

_'You're not done with this any more than I am.'_

Liam doesn't understand how Theo can be so fucking straightforward when everything is so tangled in his head. None of this would be happening if they were in public. It'd been a mistake to come here, to put himself in this position to begin with. Theo is fire and Liam knows not to play with fire. So Liam jerkily wrenches himself back and he stands quickly. If he does it quick, he'll be fine. He just needs to leave.

"I can't do this. I gotta go."

Liam is bolting to the front door and not even slipping on his shoes, he simply grabs them and runs to his truck and away from Theo.

* * *

It's like going back in time, holding Liam like this. Maybe it's insane, but there's something familiar about the feeling. No matter how much broader his shoulders have gotten, or how much Liam's jaw has sharpened over the years, he still _fits_ against Theo in a way that only makes him want to pull Liam in closer. He remembers this, is the thing. It's like sensory memory, feeling the way that Liam fits against him like a missing piece. Once, a long time ago, Theo would have scoffed at the idea, but that had been before Liam had raged into his world like a wildfire and cleared the debris away from Theo's defenses. He'd attacked head on, had barreled his way in and taken no prisoners.

It's like nothing has changed, then. Liam hides against Theo's chest, and Theo tightens his hold, remembering the night he'd told Liam that he'd be leaving. Liam had stayed there, quiet, unmoving, for over an hour, and Theo hadn't pushed him. He can remember, vividly, how deeply Liam had burrowed himself under Theo's skin despite all of his wishes. Even now, just touching him feels like recovering something he'd lost.

At least... it does until suddenly Liam wrenches himself away, so quickly that Theo feels something in his shoulder pop. An old lacrosse injury, sure, but it does make him wince and let go, reaching up to set his hand on his shoulder. It soothes quickly, but Theo isn't even looking at it. He's looking at Liam, at the wide-eyed look of shock and fear, and the way that Liam just suddenly wrenches himself back.

Liam mumbles a quick excuse, and Theo pushes himself from the back of the sofa, frowning, but Liam runs.

He calls out a quick, "Liam-- Liam, _wait!_ " But Liam is already gone, the door slamming shut behind him.

Theo sits there, Liam's scent still lingering on the air, his warmth fading from where it had collected against Theo's chest. He's quiet as he stares after Liam. Then, jaw clenching, Theo leans down, picking up the wine glass from the floor and taking his own. He walks both of them into the kitchen and then tosses both in the sink, uncaring when Liam's cracks. Somehow, it seems fitting.

Theo pours himself something a little stronger and a part of him wants to wallow, just a bit, but Liam _had_ leaned into his space. He _had_ sought Theo out. There's no taking that back. Liam had _wanted_ him.

Theo doesn't drink much, just enough to take the edge off, and then he wanders his way back to his office to do some work. He'll call Liam later. He'll make it right.


	2. Yeah, totally (Flashback)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashbacks because them getting together and dating is adorable, okay?
> 
> Next chapter is back in the present.

So, tutoring isn't going that well, but it's not Liam's fault! His parents had arranged this for him and it's not as if Liam wants to do badly in school ('cause he doesn't). The problem is actually with his tutor - _Theo_ \- who just so happens to be a senior _in_ his high school. As in, only two years older than Liam. Which is kinda awkward and stupid because aren't tutors supposed to be like, way older and _not_ attractive? And that's the real problem because somehow Theo is kinda attractive. For a guy anyway. Nothing wrong with guys liking other guys, it's just that Liam isn't usually into dudes.

Or hasn't been. Until now.

But he's into Theo and being into Theo has Liam usually making a complete idiot out of himself whenever they're together - which Liam does often enough, thanks. It's been almost two months of one to three appointments per week and the funny thing is... his grades haven't actually improved. Liam is trying, it's just whenever he's in school and thinking of something that he knows _sounds_ familiar, his brain will jump to Theo and it's all downhill from there. His dad offered to get Liam a different tutor (assuming that _Theo_ was the problem), but Liam hadn't accepted. He doesn't actually want anyone else.

Theo isn't even _that_ great. Theo is a major try-hard and keener. He's also a sarcastic jerk. Theo might be an overachiever, but he does work hard and it is kind of admirable.

Today, however, Theo doesn't seem to be in a patient mood and Liam is tired of his feelings getting in the way of this. There's no way that Theo could be into him, right? So if Liam just gets this over with, gets rejected, maybe he can move on and maybe he can actually learn.

Liam shuts his paperback copy of _Lord of the Flies_ as loudly as he can, signaling that he's done with it.

"Look, I know you probably think I'm a complete idiot," Liam begins as he turns to look at Theo. They're sitting on his bedroom floor, materials spread out around them. "And that English isn't my thing, but you gotta know that I'm not _this_ bad. Normally."

* * *

Theo has a _reputation_ to uphold, and it is for that reason - and that reason alone - that Liam pisses him off so much.

He's always been good at school, academics coming easily to him. Maybe he's not as smart as some, but he's got a leg up in the way that counts: Theo knows people. He's got to know people considering how shit his life has been to this date, and considering _how many_ people in this godforsaken town think he's a sociopath, he's _really_ got to be good with people.

So he makes up for the rumors and whispers behind closed doors and cupped hands. He works his ass off at school, he works two jobs outside of class, plus tutoring. He's on the honor roll, and he's already taking classes for his undergrad to prep for law school. Even people who think he's a monster eventually need to give him his due, even if it is usually in reluctant nods and grudging sighs. Theo isn't one to back down. He _earns_ his respect.

Which is why Liam fucking Dunbar is a _problem_.

He'd only met the kid a few months ago. Theo had stopped him from going off on some freshman, had half-talked, half-wrestled him down from some rage spike, and it had been a weird mix of anger and relief from that point on. So when Liam's dad had contacted him for tutoring, it had only seemed like the next logical step. Whatever; he'd been fine with it.

Except Liam is worse than he was before. His grades are slipping, and no matter what stupid literary trick or mnemonic Theo tries to teach him, the idiot isn't retaining anything. He's tried everything, and this is the one huge red stain on his reputation.

So when Liam shuts the book suddenly, Theo almost wishes it had been him. He sits up straighter, pissed but trying not to show it (even though Liam just has this way of getting under his skin). Theo draws in a slower breath, trying to keep calm, even if it is impossible. Christ, this kid...

"Really?" Theo demands. "Are you even _trying_ to listen to me? Because we've been at this for weeks, and you're only getting worse. I don't need your dad spreading rumors that I'm fucking up your grades even more."

* * *

In hindsight, Liam shouldn't be surprised at all by Theo's reply. Theo may be trying to be a goody-goody studious boy wonder, but he's never been dripping with niceness. What Theo oozes is the focused determination of someone running a marathon but also flipping you off with their middle finger as they pass you. Liam doesn't really understand _why_ Theo is working so hard or cares so much about his grades, but the guy does.

Theo also cares about his reputation, but the idea that his dad would spread rumors is ridiculous and Liam gives Theo the appropriate ' _dude_ , _what_?' look.

"You really think my dad doesn't have anything better to do than gossip about you?" Liam asks, but he's quick to barrel on or they'll get into some disagreement that Theo always manages to out-talk him on and Liam just gets frustrated and tongue-tied. No thanks. "And it's _your_ fault I'm doing worse, okay? Anytime I try and think about what we go over, I start thinking about _you_ , and for whatever reason I like- _like_ you and this hasn't ever happened before."

Liam takes in a breath, hiking his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He's pointedly not looking at Theo now. "So, there you have it. They offered to get me another tutor but even though you piss me off, I still wanna see you."

* * *

Maybe Theo is a little quick to snap, but it's been a long day. This is the last thing on his agenda, and the last few days have been shitty beyond reason. If he didn't have a metaphorical fire under his ass to get out of this stupid place and _make_ something of himself, he's pretty sure he would have crashed a long time ago, but he's not going to do that. He's not going to give the foster system or law enforcement the satisfaction of watching him break.

It's not Liam's fault that this has been the week from hell, so... yeah, maybe Theo does feel _briefly_ bad, but it's gone the next second. Liam, for his part, doesn't lash out. And while Theo does have a few things to say about what Liam's dad might think about him, he very quickly forgets what he'd been about to say when Liam soldiers on and _blames_ him for doing worse.

Theo's about to snap at him, about to throw it back on Liam for not working hard enough, when-- what Liam _said_ catches up with him and Theo goes still, blinking. He stares in confusion, not quite comprehending at first, because... well, Theo isn't used to it being that simple. He frowns, incredulous.

"Wait. So... so your grades have been tanking because you think I'm _hot?_ " He asks flatly. Theo sits back a bit, leaning back against the side of Liam's bed. "I mean... you're not _wrong._ I am hot. Not like I mind that you wanna make out with me, but I didn't even know you liked guys. "

* * *

Liam may not be looking, but he can _feel_ Theo's incredulous gaze on him and he doesn't like it. Liam's never been good with words. It's hard enough to figure out his own thoughts sometimes, but then trying to put thoughts _into_ words for someone else? It's never been easy and it's sure as hell not easy now. Movies sometimes make these types of things look cool, but this doesn't feel cool at all. Does "this" count as some kind of a love confession? If so, it's a _really_ bad one.

It's probably not a love confession - Liam doesn't know enough about Theo for it to be like, real love-love. Anyway, the idea of falling in love with anyone is actually... scary. He's only sixteen and while he knows he's definitely more mature than when he was thirteen, he thinks the chances of messing up and hurting someone would be great and who would want that?

For as smart of a guy as Theo is, his reply is stupid. It has Liam's head snapping up and he's glaring at Theo.

"It's not _just_ that you're hot and I want to make out with you!" Liam retorts. Theo's not entirely wrong, however. Liam does consider Theo attractive and he does want to make out with the guy but-- "I don't usually like guys either. You're really the first that I want to, you know, _get to know_." He's quick to rush on. "It's not as if I think you're amazing - you can totally be a dick, but you're kind of a mystery. I hear stuff sometimes, but I don't know if it's true and I want to get to know you for real. I want to figure out what you like and don't like. I want to spend more time with you but not when my dad is paying you. I want to make you happy. Stuff like that..."

Liam's arms have tightened around his knees and as much as he wants to duck his head down and hide, he doesn't.

* * *

It's one benefit of being hot; this isn't the first time that something like this has happened. Theo's always collecting tiny crushes here and there, from people he tutors, from people in his classes. He's a mystery, he's hot, and he's confident. He knows what people gravitate toward and it's not like he can change any of those things about himself. He's confident because he has to be. If he were to slip in public and allow himself a moment of weakness, Theo knows a good seven people off the top of his head who would hound him until he was buried under his uncertainty.

It's a shit life, but it's his. A crush is a crush, and if Theo has to be an ass and get this idiot to actually pay attention in his tutoring sessions, so be it. Theo's not one to mince words if he's not in the mood, and considering how much this has been affecting his reputation, he's not in the mood.

Except... when he opens his mouth to shoot Liam down, to drag him over the metaphorical coals, Liam just... launches into this _rant_. It's not that it doesn't make sense, but he sounds like he's serious. That wouldn't mean anything; Theo's had lots of people want to fuck him before, but what he hasn't had is someone saying that they want to _get to know_ him. Someone saying that they want to figure out what he likes and doesn't like. Someone saying that they want to make him _happy_.

That's... new. It's one that Theo hasn't heard before, and he can't help the way that he goes still and silent, brow pinching in curiosity.

He's had people want to manipulate him before, and people who want to kiss him or fuck him or use him as arm candy. He's never had someone want anything else from him, and it's on that note that Theo finally leans back and really looks at Liam. It's almost amusing how quickly Theo works through everything that Liam had said and comes to a conclusion.

"So you want to date me, is what you're saying," Theo says finally, his eyes narrowing thoughtfully. "Is that where you're going with this? Because that's fine, so long as you stop freaking out and actually focus when I'm tutoring you."

* * *

It's like verbal vomit that Liam has spit out. Maybe he's not smooth or cool, but everything that he's said _is_ the truth. Yeah, Theo is hot (and somehow Theo just acknowledging and calling himself hot isn't a turn off, but it should be). And yeah Liam would very much like to makeout with Theo, but that's hardly _just_ it. There's hot people all around Liam - girls and maybe even guys he could actually have a better chance with too because Liam isn't bad looking either. According to Mason, one girl in his math class apparently is doodling his name in hearts. That could be promising...

But Liam isn't interested in Jen Richardson, he's somehow interested in Theo Raeken and Theo isn't the first guy that Liam's considered to be attractive, but he is the first that Liam has actually wanted to go after. He's tried not acting on it, but that's got him here - looking like an idiot with Theo and not doing any better in English.

Because Liam wants to actually get to know Theo. Sure he's heard some stuff, but he doesn't know what's real and what's not and he'd rather hear it from the source. Liam's curious about Theo, he wants to know more about him. And maybe it's weird to want to make someone happy when you're not even their friend but the want worms its way through his head anyway. The only way to get to actually know someone is to hang out with them more and probably not in a tutoring setting.

Liam tries to read Theo's reaction and he thinks that Theo doesn't _look_ overly bothered by any of it. That's a positive. Theo mentions _dating_ \- specifically that Liam wants to date Theo - and then Theo says it's fine as long as he stops freaking out with the tutoring thing--

"Fine for me to want to date you or like, fine for us _to date_?" Liam asks because Theo hadn't actually said if _he_ wanted to do it. "Do you even like me? Or are you just trying to go along with it so I calm down and get a good grade?"

* * *

Liam isn't the first person to like him and he won't be the last, but he _is_ the first person to lead with a line like that. Usually Theo gets blushing virgins, or awkward notes, or overly-cringe-worthy winks. On one memorable occasion, he'd been lifting weights at the gym and had had a girl come really close to just sitting on his lap, but he thankfully doesn't get that very often, and the owner had shooed her away.

Despite his reputation, Theo knows he's hot. People want him. It makes sense. But _Liam_... Liam is different.

He's just some stupid kid, quick to anger, quick to get confused. Yeah, he's hot too, all baby-faced and plush-lipped, but with a strong jaw that Theo swears he could already cut himself on, it's so sharp. Liam's still growing into himself, but he's definitely not hard on the eyes. But more than that, Theo's never had someone show interest like this before. Honestly, he's not that sure what he's supposed to say. As far as he's concerned, he's already given his answer.

So when Liam chimes in quickly for clarification, Theo looks back up at him. He'd already glanced back down at the papers strewn everywhere, had already planned on going back to it, but Liam's interjection draws him up short. And... seriously? Theo blinks at him incredulously.

"What, you want a signed permission slip or something?" He asks flatly. "I mean, ideally you'd calm down and do your work, but that doesn't mean we can't go out. Test the waters or something. You got any plans this weekend?" Theo sets the pen he'd been fiddling with down, giving Liam his full attention. "Because there's a nice place to eat in the next town over. Saturday, maybe? Pick you up at six?"

* * *

_Dating_ isn't the word that Liam had used, but it does fit. He wants to do more stuff than just kiss Theo. The thought of kissing Theo already gets heart beating faster because Liam hasn't ever kissed a guy. He's actually not kissed that _many_ girls either. Theo does have way more experience than him but Liam can't exactly go get more experience now.

As crazy as dating Theo might seem, Liam needs to know for sure that Theo isn't trying to just save his own skin by agreeing with him. Theo apparently really cares about his reputation. He could just be trying to suck up to Liam or maybe even his dad or something.

Which would suck. Liam's not pathetic enough to take handouts or scraps. He wants Theo to want him too - or at least maybe be interested in him. So, Liam asks and Theo looks at him like Liam's an idiot, but he doesn't apologize or take his questions back. There's only one way to get answers and that's by asking.

Liam's cheeks heat at the mention of the signed permission slip. It's not as if he's a kid, he just wants to have a straight answer from Theo. But Liam doesn't step in and try to interrupt. Besides, Theo continues on and what Theo says is good. Liam's legs unfold from his chest because Theo just picks Saturday. A date on Saturday. Eating food together. A date. It's happening.

"Yeah, totally. Saturday works," Liam nods with a brightening smile.

He can't believe that this is happening, but it's cool that it is.

* * *

***~* *~* *~* *~***

* * *

Theo honestly hadn't expected it to last. Hell, he hadn't expected it to turn into anything to begin with. Just some stupid date with some stupid sophomore in high school who couldn't tell the difference between a preposition and a dangling participle. The date had been a one-off in Theo's mind, just something to distract Liam and get Theo out of his system. It's not like the kid was ugly, after all, and Theo'd needed a bit of a break, so whatever. A date had made sense.

And then... _Liam_ had happened. Liam, who had fumbled his menu and spilled his water at dinner, who had sat somewhat awkwardly and stared openly, and who had launched into an enthusiastic talk about his friend, Mason over desert. It had been a shit date, really, at least in terms of what Theo had come to expect.

Then, at the end of the night, Theo had leaned in and the look that Liam had given him - wide eyed, hopeful, and expectant - had been enough to change everything. Theo had kissed him, chaste and quick, and Liam had surged into it, nervous and eager and curious in a way that Theo'd never experienced before.

Which had started everything else. Had started _this_ , and _this_ is... well.

This is _something_.

Theo's fucked around with people in the past. He's hooked up with people, has dated casually, and has even driven out of town to get some action on his worst days. But with Liam, it's different. They haven't even _been_ sexual, really, but Theo honestly doesn't care. Liam is weirdly a breath of fresh air, with a slower, heartfelt sense of humor and a quick wit when he wants it. Yeah, they've gotten into a few fights since, and yeah, it's only been five weeks, but Theo can tell that this is different.

Different _is_ intimidating but he doesn't think on that. Instead, he sinks into this casual dating, meeting up with Liam for tutoring and in his off-time, when he can manage it.

It's when Liam comes to him with his graded English paper two days later that he gets an idea. Liam's thrilled, his grade _significantly_ improved, and before Theo's even finished congratulating him, he's already putting a plan together.

Liam had done well, and it's already been over a month since they'd started dating. So, when Theo gets home that evening, he checks his bank account out, then immediately calls his boss and asks for more shifts. Yeah, it'll suck to have no free time for awhile, but he should _do_ something for his--... for... whatever the fuck Liam is. Which is what he tells himself the next day when he reluctantly answers Liam's questioning text with a dismissal and a quick, ' _sorry, can't hang out today. Got a thing.'_

* * *

Okay, so, dating Theo is actually going really good. The tutoring isn't _magically_ better, but it steadily improves because Liam's got his little secret out and then he's able to see Theo more outside of their sessions and that helps.

Oh, the dates are sometimes awkward or at least _he_ gets awkward, but Theo is still around and still interested in him. They've even had a dinner and a movie double date with Liam's parents (which he wanted to die from but Theo charmed them so hardcore it's not even funny). Liam at least doesn't have to ask Theo all of his random gay questions because Mason has been around to help answer them.

One thing that kind of sucks is how busy Theo can get at times. His after school jobs, the tutoring, Theo's extra classes... Even so, Theo tries to make time for him, even if it's not for very long. A couple of times Theo's fallen asleep on the floor in the middle of studying and Liam will cover him up with a blanket. The next morning Theo will try and grouch about Liam "letting" him stay asleep, but Liam knows that Theo needs it.

They never go to Theo's place and Liam hasn't brought up the rumor that apparently Theo doesn't even go home to his foster place sometimes. It bothers Liam, not knowing more about Theo, only knowing what he's heard whispered around, but Liam doesn't want to be annoying and pushy, so he doesn't ask. And anyway, Liam's parents are more than cool with Theo - at least after Liam's dad had given Theo "the talk" and they'd come to an 'understanding. Whatever _that_ means.

Things seem really good until suddenly, out of nowhere, Theo just starts getting busier and not having time to see him and the reasons why are getting vague. The vague problem is actually the problem. Liam tries to not focus on it, tries to not let it get at him but it's difficult because he starts to worry that maybe Theo isn't into him anymore. Maybe Theo is seeing someone else, someone who would put out more because they haven't done that much...

Liam calls around and when he learns what he does, he makes his plan. It's god awfully early when he wakes up the next morning, but he quickly rouses because he's on a mission. And that mission is to ask why Theo couldn't tell him that he'd picked up a Sunday overnight shift stocking and not told him. Theo works the 11-7am shift stocking at the grocery store but only Friday and Saturday nights because duh, school is on Monday. So it doesn't make sense that Theo worked last night, a Sunday.

Liam doesn't know what to expect. He almost thinks someone at work is covering for Theo, but Liam heads to the store... And breathes a sigh of relief at seeing Theo's familiar truck in the parking lot. Liam's about ten minutes early from when Theo gets off, so he climbs into the bed of the truck with his backpack and waits.

* * *

Theo is exhausted, but that's not actually anything new. In a sense, it feels like he hasn't had a good night's rest since before he'd started middle school. It sucks, yeah, and he's not happy about it, but it's just his new normal. Yeah, picking up a few extra shifts for this little plan of his sucks even more, and he's beyond exhausted as he packs up after his shift, but his paycheck will reflect how hard he's been working, and it'll be worth it in the end.

It's still a little ballsy to work a Sunday night. Theo still has class, even if his first period is a free period. There's no time to head home and sleep, but he'll manage. He's functioned on less sleep before, and so as he gingerly works the knots out of his shoulders and throws on his hoodie that morning, Theo lifts a hand and bids his manager goodbye. She smiles at him, clipboard in hand, coffee cup steaming, and says she'll see him on Friday, or before that if he decides to pick up a few _more_ shifts.

It's a very unsubtle hint, but Theo does consider it as he walks back to his truck. He yawns, jaw cracking a little as he reaches up to rub at his face. He'll have time to grab something to eat, shower at the gym, and get some coffee, and then make it to his first class later on. Hell, he briefly considers trying to catch a nap, but that's too risky for now, and it'd be cutting it too close.

Theo doesn't know what it is that makes him clue in that something is different; he doesn't hear any new sounds. Instead, as he walks back to his truck, he gets the distinct feeling that someone is watching him. Theo glances up curiously, then immediately comes to a stop when he sees _Liam_ in the back of his truck.

Glancing at his watch on autopilot - because it's before 8:00, and Liam _never_ wants to get up that early - Theo frowns, but when he looks back at Liam, it's hesitant. He considers him, then crosses the distance between them. Shit. Does he know?

"So you _can_ get up before eight. Someone mark it on the calendar," Theo says easily, tone teasing as he throws Liam a quick smirk. "What... are you doing here?"

* * *

Liam knows that Theo is very studious and industrious and that he has big plans and that he needs to work for money because he's in foster care. But that doesn't explain why Theo hadn't told him about picking up an extra shift. And a stupid shift at that because they both have school this morning. No one is supposed to stay up all night working and then go to school. Liam's dad had already tried to caution Theo about not getting enough sleep (not that it had done much, unfortunately).

When he spots a tried looking Theo leaving the store, Liam immediately sits up. He's nervous and curious and both those feelings are helping him not feel all that tired himself. What if Theo gets mad at him for doing this? Theo hasn't seemed to mind when Liam hangs around waiting for Theo at school or whatever, but this is outside of school and Theo hadn't told him anything. It's probably different when Theo knows that he's told Liam when he finishes something or where he is.

It's too late now.

Theo sees him and Liam wears a bit of a sheepish expression when his boyfriend approaches and proceeds to tease him. Liam climbs out of the back of the truck, but he doesn't try and hug or kiss Theo. He looks at him.

"You... You usually just tell me if you're working or whatever," Liam begins hesitantly. "I got worried... So I might have phoned around to see if you _were_ working and when I found out that yeah you had a shift here, I thought maybe they were just covering for you..." The more he talks, the more ridiculous Liam feels and he's staring down at his feet awkwardly.

* * *

There's no way that Liam could possibly know, because Theo hasn't told anyone. He'd mentioned in passing that he needed more money for this month for personal reasons to his boss when he'd asked for more shifts, but she hadn't pressed him. She'd sent him a knowing smirk but that had been the extent of it, and besides, she doesn't know _who_ he's dating. As far as his coworkers are concerned, he's single and hardworking, and working to prove himself against the more caustic rumors in the city.

But that doesn't explain how Liam is _here_. Theo tries not to look guilty, and he tries hard not to be suspicious, but he can't help a few threads of it. He narrows his eyes slightly as he looks at Liam, reading him as best as he can as Liam climbs out of the bed of the truck, looking sheepish.

 _He's_ guilty, then. That's oddly helpful, because it means that Liam isn't upset with him, but Theo's not sure what the issue is until Liam begins to explain himself. It doesn't take long for understanding to dawn, and when it does, Theo feels something twist in his chest, something vaguely annoyed but also a little... hurt? Fuck if he knows.

"So... you thought I was cheating on you," Theo says flatly after a long second. "And you thought my coworkers were covering for me so I could sneak around behind your back. That about right?" Suddenly Liam's expression makes a little more sense. Theo's smirk - already faded to almost nothing - eases into a small frown instead. He's tired, and he's sore, but the worst part of it is that... he honestly can't be _mad_ at Liam. Not with the way that people talk about him. He sighs, lifting a slightly-blistered hand to his forehead to rub at.

"Was someone trying to tell you shit about me? Did you hear a rumor, or something? Because people talk, Liam."

* * *

Sheesh, did he really just set his alarm, drag himself out of bed, get dressed and walk here to confront Theo _after_ calling Theo's work the day before to find out if Theo was working? It sounds so bad and it's too early for Liam to think straight but he has the sinking suspicion that he might be acting really bad. And it sucks. They've almost been together two months but maybe he's going to go mess that up by being a weirdo stalker boyfriend type of person?

It's really not easy to hear Theo just come out and ask about him assuming Theo was cheating. Theo might not sound mad, but he doesn't sound happy either. Theo has no reason to sound okay about any of this. Liam doesn't want to come across or even _be_ some insecure idiot - _gross_ \- it's just hard because he doesn't really know what Theo sees in him anyway?

Liam forces himself to look up when Theo mentions rumors. His hands are fidgeting by his sides as he shifts on his feet. "Not more than usual?" He answers with a wince. Theo seems to be the kind of guy that most of the people in their high school love to hate - at least behind Theo's back. It hasn't been especially easy being linked to Theo, but if Theo's with him, people usually don't bother him.

"I just... I wouldn't blame you, okay?" Liam says with eyebrows furrowed. "I'm not as smart as you and I don't have a lot of experience..." His cheeks color at the mention of _experience_. He's heard a few things, yeah, but it's also just obvious that Theo is comfortable and confident and has done way more than him and why wouldn't that bother Theo?

* * *

It wouldn't have been the first time that some asshole had talked behind Theo's back. It's one of their favorite things to do these days: talk. Theo's even seen a few of his teachers giving him odd looks, though he knows that that has nothing to do with promiscuity and everything to do with the rumors around his sister.

Hell, all of it might revolve around his sister's death and it _sucks_ , constantly being reminded of it, constantly being tarred with the label. People fucking suck. Sometimes Theo forgets that, but he's always reminded in one way or another.

Liam looks ashamed, a little like he wants to sink through the ground, and there's a part of Theo that almost wants to let him, but he doesn't. He's _doing_ this for Liam, after all, and Liam looks ashamed, and while the knowledge that Liam's been hearing rumors sucks, Theo lets it slide. Liam's here, and as bad as it had been, he's got his proof now. That's something.

Still, it's what _else_ Liam says that really catches Theo's attention, and the way that Liam's face colors when he admits what he does is enough to give Theo pause.

"C'mon. In the truck with me," Theo says after a moment. He unlocks the door and then walks over to the driver's side, climbing inside. Liam takes a second to follow. but when he does, Theo looks over at him. Then, in the relative solitude of the truck, he leans in.

Theo nudges Liam's chin up with one hand, pressing a kiss to his lips. He's slow with it - or slower than usual - and when he draws back, he looks serious.

"I don't fuck around. I don't _care_ how experienced or inexperienced you are. I'm the first guy you've ever done anything with, right? I was there too, once." Theo shrugs one shoulder. "It doesn't bother me. I like being around you."

* * *

Liam's heard that Theo apparently has no problems hooking up with anyone. Liam's also heard that Theo usually doesn't date either. No one's seen Theo date at least - not until Liam. Which hasn't gone unnoticed by some of the student body. Liam's got a few weird looks and comments directed at him, but Mason keeps him distracted and Theo scowls them away. Theo's past shouldn't matter. It's in the past. No one can change anything about it. Liam gets it. Theo, so far, hasn't cared about them going slow, but maybe it's going too slow. That could happen.

But it's still difficult knowing that Theo's super experienced and confident and Liam just isn't in comparison. It's not as if Liam is trying to be a clingy untrustworthy idiot, it's just that usually Theo has had no problem telling him he's working, so why would this time be any different?

He follows Theo to the truck, slipping off his backpack and getting in. He's pretty sure that this is a good sign. If Theo was really pissed off, he'd have sent Liam away, right? Right.

Theo giving him a slow kiss is an even better indication that Liam isn't in the dog house. His heart is hammering away in his chest and it takes a few seconds for Liam to actually kiss back, but when he does he feels warmer, better.

Liam listens intently, his eyes fighting between looking at Theo's own serious pair and Theo's lips that are a little wet. Man, he already wants to kiss them again.

Liam doesn't have a good reason to _not_ believe Theo... "If you like being around me... why didn't you just tell me you were working? You always have in the past," Liam asks. "I mean, it's stupid to be working Sunday night when we have school in an hour, but I could have like, brought you a coffee or something."

* * *

Theo goes quiet for a moment, his eyes narrowing slightly at Liam's question. It's not like Liam doesn't have a fair point in asking his question, but Theo is also sure that his reasons are pretty clear. The _issue_ is that he really doesn't want Liam actually guessing what the answer is, and so while he does look suspicious, Theo tries his best to lock away the guilty twist in his chest.

He's not sure _why_ he feels guilty when he's doing this _for_ Liam. Maybe... it's just the fact that this isn't something that he normally does. He's never actually felt like this with anyone before, and it's ridiculous because Liam's just some punk who's two years younger than Theo is. There's no _reason_ for Theo to like him, but he does.

He likes Liam's sense of humor and his blunt, endearing honesty. He even likes it when Liam gets fired up and furious, because he's a force to be reckoned with when he gets angry, even if it has led to a fight here and there. Liam can hold his own, and he's got real family. One that clearly cares about him. Hell, one that is starting to treat Theo like family too, in a weird way.

Maybe that's part of it. Maybe he wants to do this for Liam because Liam and his family are the first ones to ever _really_ give a shit about him, but that's... way too heavy to tell a guy who's only just his boyfriend after only dating for a little under two months.

So, Theo focuses on the obvious answer. The other one is a bit too big to touch on this soon.

"I mean... me not telling you _might_ have had something to do with you calling me stupid just then. I need... a bit more money than I'm making right now and Sunday was the only shift available. I thought you'd give me shit for it, so I didn't tell you. Didn't think it was that big a deal."

Theo's honestly still not sure if he's charmed or annoyed by Liam's stalking. He thinks he _should_ be annoyed or pissed, but he's really not. Not that much.

"Besides, I'm pretty sure that this is the only time in your _life_ that you've been up before eight. I didn't want you to have to wake up early. I'll just grab coffee on the way to school."

* * *

Liam doesn't want to be annoying and neurotic about Theo - or about _them._ He doesn't want to be clingy or suspicious either, but it's hard because he just feels so much and his head gets going and Theo is kind of stupidly private still and it all contributes to Liam just going around in circles trying to figure out things.

He is relieved that Theo had _just_ been working and it's not as if he _really_ seriously thought Theo would cheat on him either. Sure they haven't _done much,_ but if Theo wasn't into him or them dating, wouldn't he just break up and move on? Liam's pretty sure that they've had fun and that, weirdly enough, they click. His parents really like Theo too, _he_ really likes Theo and it's just... it's all going pretty freakin' good.

It's hard to be mad when Theo goes on and explains everything. What can Liam really say? He doesn't work. He doesn't have money problems. He _wants_ to say that if Theo needs it, he's sure his parents would help, but it hasn't gone well when he offers anything that could look like a 'handout' so Liam doesn't try.

"I'd get up for _you_ ," Liam grumbles and glances down at his backpack that's nestled in between his feet. It is true that he's not much of a morning person, but he's already proven that he _can_ do it because he's here now.

"You wanna come over? If you're quick you could have a shower and breakfast."

* * *

Theo knows he should rush ahead to school or to the gym to catch a shower before second period. He's tired, and he definitely needs a coffee, but he still has the rest of the day ahead of him. He'll nap once school is out; Theo doesn't have any students to tutor afterwards, and he's already half-thinking on that when Liam grumbles at him, his voice low, almost embarrassed.

It's... sweet, is the thing. That Liam might have gotten up for him. In a way, Theo supposes that he _had_ , and despite how long the shift had been and how ready he is to get the day over with, a smaller, endeared smile lands on his lips. Liam's a sweet kid, even if he is a bit neurotic, and while Theo knows he _should_ be annoyed, he's really not.

Instead, when Liam offers him a meal and a shower, Theo takes him up on it. He urges Liam to buckle his seatbelt and together, they set off for Liam's house. Conversation isn't stilted; Liam seems to have realized his own fuck up, and he's working to make up for it as he sets about cooking a quick breakfast while Theo takes a shower upstairs.

Breakfast is quick, and Liam's mom comes downstairs halfway through it, making Theo coffee that's a little extra strong when Liam gives her a _look_. She talks to them while they eat, and afterwards, Theo offers to take Liam to school for his first period.

* * *

It makes sense to invite Theo over. It's nothing they haven't done before. Liam's parents really like Theo which is a relief. Liam doesn't know all that much about Theo's family situation - or lack of family because Theo's in foster care - but Liam _does_ know that Theo isn't a fan of hanging out there, like _ever_. Liam's never been over there in fact. When Theo's not working or in school, they're usually at Liam's place. They'll eat, study, watch movies, hang out.

Breakfast is simple and his mom is understanding, knowing not to ask or push Theo. She's just glad that Liam is doing better in school and that he's not hiding his relationship because that's apparently what teenagers do.

It makes Liam feel good to know that Theo feels comfortable enough to come over and shower and be fed. It's really cool to be able to have a safe place to crash and be together. His parents only try to mildly embarrass him around Theo but… it's sort of amusing. Even though it's only been six weeks, Theo and his parents get along and it's not even awkward.

* * *

This is something he's still getting used to, when it comes down to it. This... ease he has with Liam's family. Dr. Geyer likes him, and so does his wife, and so Theo's feeling a little less dead when he finally pulls up to the school's parking lot, showered, caffeinated, and fed.

Liam smiles at him and begins to make a move to get out of the truck, but before he can, Theo suddenly reaches out and touches his shoulder. He's not sure what it is - maybe how long he's been awake, or maybe how _nice_ the morning had been - but suddenly the words are just there.

"I know you're not doing anything this Saturday. I asked your parents, and I checked in with Mason," he says quickly, before he loses steam. Liam had looked so nervous, so uncomfortable, and... fuck it. Maybe secrets aren't the way to go with Liam. He wets his lips quickly.

"So, I just wanted to let you know that I got us tickets to Moonlite Drive-In this Saturday, and I'm taking you out for a meal at Frisco's - that Retro Diner you like. I thought... we could make a day trip out of it. We were both busy a month in, so I just thought... you know. Why celebrate at a month? Why not six weeks?" Theo trails off for a second, then shrugs somewhat uncomfortably. "I didn't _have_ enough to take you out, so I just... picked up an extra shift. Thought maybe telling you why I picked up the extra shift would be better than letting you wonder. So... is that cool with you?"

* * *

Theo's looking more awake and better after the shower, breakfast and coffee, and Liam now feels better about the whole extra shift thing. Yeah, it sucks that Theo doesn't want any help, but he can't force it - he's not going to force it. Theo's all into being enterprising and taking care of himself and Liam has learned that it's important to Theo to be able to do that. While waking up early had kinda sucked, it's nice to have been able to spend this time with Theo.

Before Liam can climb out of the truck, Theo stops him and Liam turns to face him, curious. And Liam isn't expecting what Theo says - talking about taking him to a drive-in movie theatre and the diner - a _date_ to celebrate their six weeks. Like a _six week anniversary_. And _that's_ why Theo had picked up an extra shift to cover the cost. Liam's mouth breaks into a huge grin as he launches himself at Theo and pulls him into a tight hug.

"Yeah, totally, that sounds like the best date ever!"

He's officially got the best boyfriend and Liam is stoked about their upcoming date.

* * *

It's a risk. Liam _could_ say no, could tell him it's ridiculous, or that he'd overstepped his boundaries. It's just that Theo listens, whether or not people think he is. Liam had told him, in passing about three weeks ago, that one of his favorite places _ever_ had been a dumb old retro diner that his parents had taken him to when his dad had been at a conference upstate. They'd been talking about happy memories - undoubtedly Liam's attempt to 'subtly' pry into Theo's life - but Theo had taken it in and filed it away. So when he'd missed their one month anniversary, the idea had just hit him.

Having the idea isn't the same as _admitting_ to it, though. Admitting to it requires admitting that he'd actually cared enough to remember, and for one heart-stopping second, Theo begins to doubt.

Then Liam's expression brightens and he grins so wide that Theo catches himself smiling a little in response. Before he can say anything, he's suddenly got an armful of Liam, and just like that, Theo feels something settle inside. He's careful as he wraps his arm around Liam in return, pulling him in close with a softer, relieved chuckle. Liam's excited and Theo can't help but be endeared at having made the right choice.

"Yeah? I remembered you talking about it, so..." Theo trails off, because explaining it doesn't seem as important. He just pulls Liam in a little closer, smiling.

Despite the rough start to the day, Theo feels... good. Happy. Liam wouldn't have tracked him down earlier if he didn't care, and having a place to shower and eat and have a real family even for a little while is still something he's getting used to. A mom who cares and a dad who's willing to buddy around with him still feels surreal, but it's nice to know he's welcome. Not just with Liam, but also with his parents.

It's been a long time since _anyone's_ welcomed him the way that Liam's family has, the way that Liam has. So maybe Theo wants to give back. Maybe he wants to prove that he's worthy of it, if only in his own little way. And yeah, Liam needs to get to class, but as Theo feels the way that Liam's arms practically crush him, he can't help the sudden desire that flickers through him.

He tilts Liam's chin up before Liam can say anything, and Theo kisses him. They don't do this near the school often, but any reservations they have seem to fall apart as Liam surges up into the kiss and returns it. It's a little awkward because neither of them can really stop smiling, and Liam's bag is still keeping him in place, but the kiss is sweet and thankful and could easily build up into something. Theo knows it's a bad idea, but he _is_ tempted...

At least, until there's a knock on the door to his truck and he and Liam break away quickly. Liam looks a little flustered, and a little guilty-- at least until he sees _who_ is outside. Theo looks back, but when he sees Mason standing there, looking exasperated but amused, some of the tension eases out of his shoulders.

"Not to be the biggest cockblock in the world, but the bell for first period just rang," he says, sounding amused. "You guys might want to get a move on."

Liam shoots something back, teasing, still a little flustered, and Theo rolls up the window to his truck, but he feels lighter as he climbs out and locks up. And, while Mason and Liam fall into step ahead of him, Theo doesn't mind. It's... nice. Things are going well for the first time in what feels like forever.


	3. Afloat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to the present! 
> 
> In case you need a recap: Liam had just rushed to GTFO from Theo's place because Theo was all sexy and feelsy and stated that he knew things weren't over between them...

Liam's panicking as he leaves and races out to his truck. Once started, he pulls out of the affluent neighborhood, his sneakers on the passenger seat next to him.

Sock feet. He's driving in his socks. Whatever. Heart pounding, he stares pointedly ahead. Liam doesn't dare look in his rearview mirror. He's hyper-aware of _not_ speeding. Oh, Liam _wants_ to, he feels restless energy desperately looking for an outlet and speeding is currently available to him, but he forces himself to go the speed limit (even if it pisses off the other drivers behind him).

Don't speed. Don't look back. Keep driving.

Liam does. And he's shaking, jaw clenched, his stomach tight with nerves. It's only once he's in another part of the city that he pulls over and turns off his phone. He sits there for a moment, blinking, trying to calm down, trying to feel safe and okay. He hadn't _done_ anything. He's okay. It's fine. Hayden doesn't know. Theo's just saying shit. It doesn't _mean_ anything. Theo's always been good with words. And Theo has _nothing_ to lose if they screw around while he has _so_ much to lose.

"Fuck!" he curses and Liam hits his steering wheel. He can't really get that much momentum given the space, but he does punch at the poor wheel a few more times. The pain radiating through his knuckles helps him and Liam shakes his hand after he stops. He sees flecks of blood, some split skin, but it's not the worst he's ever caused himself.

"Put your freakin' shoes on," Liam mutters to himself. He's not going to fall apart over this, so he does just that, slipping his sneakers back on. Once that's done, he pulls back onto the road and he turns on the radio.

But he doesn't drive to his place and he doesn't drive to Hayden's. Whatever top 40 hits play on the radio and he only half pays attention. Driving sometimes calms Liam down, but not this time. He keeps going back and forth in his head. He knows what Theo had said is the truth, but Liam doesn't know what to _do_ with that truth. Is he supposed to just break up with Hayden on the possibility that things _aren't_ finished with Theo? They have chemistry or whatever, happy past memories, but that doesn't mean that things will work out _now._

It's hours later that Liam finds himself parking out in front of Theo's place. This is probably another mistake, but he's on a roll, so why stop now? Liam's right hand still aches, so he uses his left to first ring the bell before beginning to bang on the door impatiently.

* * *

Theo works until the words blur on the laptop screen in front of him and then, though reluctantly, he makes himself go to bed. He showers and brushes his teeth, and trims his beard in the mirror when he looks at himself critically. It's slow, methodical, a method of control to just take the time to smooth out any imperfections. Theo plucks a few flyaway hairs, moisturizes, and when he wanders back into his bedroom, it's bordering on midnight.

Despite his exhaustion, it takes Theo time to fall asleep. His bed is still new, still unfamiliar; he's still breaking it in. It doesn't matter that it's huge, that he'd bought a king just because he _could_ , without thinking about how empty it might feel. Up until Liam, it hadn't mattered. Theo's been on his own for the last nine years, give or take a few failed, boring relationships that had never even made it past the front door to his house. It's amazing how _alone_ doesn't feel _lonely_ until you give it a reason to.

Theo isn't sure when he eventually falls asleep. All he's aware of is waking up suddenly to the ring of his doorbell. He snaps awake, shaking off the vestiges of a nightmare of cold air and a forest and flashing red and blue lights. At first, he's confused, brow pinched. He reaches up to rub at his face, blinking blearily until he looks at the clock beside him.

The numbers 2:07 stare back at him and Theo feels a sudden jolt of alarm, because no one _sane_ comes to the door at two in the morning. Before he can reach for his phone, though, he reasons that no one looking to mug his place would ring the damn _doorbell_ first. So, confused, irritated, and a little wary, Theo groans and throws back the covers.

He hears the pounding of a fist against the door as he pulls a pair of black sleep pants on and reaches up, raking his fingers back through his hair. Theo fumbles around for a t-shirt or something, but the knocking gets more insistent and so he just forgoes it, striding to his front door and wrenching it open.

"Jesus Christ, what's _wrong_ \--" he snaps, but when he sees _who_ is there, he freezes, anger fading into a sudden shock. Theo hesitates, brow furrowing, but before he can ask Liam what the _Hell_ he's doing here, he catches sight of his bloodied, bruised hand, and he knows.

"God, who - or what - did you hit this time? Come in, you need to treat that," Theo murmurs, his voice still sleep-rough. He steps aside to let Liam in. "Bathroom's just inside, down the hall. third door on your right."

* * *

Liam doesn't know what time it is. He can't remember what he'd last seen the display read in his truck. It's late, he knows that much. His tank is almost empty too. He's at least got his shoes on, but that's a small consolation...

God, he's banging on Theo's door like some deranged ex. And he actually _is_ a deranged ex. Technically they've been ex's for a long time now, but when Theo wasn't in his actual life, Liam didn't have to think about it. His parents and Mason quickly learned to never mention the T-name and Liam had tried hard to leave the past in the past. It's not as if they'd even been together that long or that things were perfect because they really weren't. Liam wasn't managing his disorder the best back then either...

Liam's not even sure that Theo's home. He'd have to like, break into the garage to see if Theo's car is there or not and Liam's pretty sure that he's not going to go that far. He's already making such an idiot of himself and distantly he's aware that making a _public_ disturbance is going to end badly for him, but he doesn't stop.

He doesn't go back into his truck. Liam's just gotta see Theo again. That's the need pounding through him. What's he going to do _after_ that? No idea.

He does stop banging when he finally hears sound near the door. Then the door is unlocking, opening, and Theo's there, practically naked (not really, but just in lounge pants). Theo's hair is sleep-messy and despite what Theo says as soon as he opens the door, Liam is smiling. A little at least. Relief washes over him, his body feeling lighter just in the presence of Theo again.

Thank fucking God that Theo's here. Liam steps back in and despite the directions to go to the bathroom and take care of his knuckles, Liam doesn't listen. He's slamming the door shut and then going at Theo, pushing a still-waking-up Theo against the wall and stepping in close to kiss him.

* * *

It's late, or is it early? It's _something_ , and as intelligent as Theo is when he's awake for real, his brain feels like its been knocked off of its normal track. Just seeing Liam again is a shock, but seeing him this late at night, with his knuckles bloodied and Theo still ready to flop back in bed is something else entirely.

As it is, Theo can only just focus on the fact that he's supposed to be helping out. Liam's knuckles are a simple place to start. It's a little like falling into old habits. Theo's already picturing a chrome sink and a soft cloth and polysporin that Liam's dad had always left in the closet when the door suddenly slams shut and snaps him out of it.

Theo looks at Liam quickly, confusion and wariness in his eyes, and he's only just drawn a breath to ask what Liam's _deal_ is-- when he sees the look in Liam's eye. Theo has a second to be shocked, but that's literally all the time that he has before Liam's hands are suddenly on his shoulders. Theo stumbles back, still not fully awake, but he doesn't fight it as Liam shoves him back against the wall.

Then Liam's lips are on his, warm and familiar and _real_ , and Theo lets out a rougher exhale, his tension bleeding out just like that.

Liam kisses Theo like it's required to _breathe_ , and just like that, it's like no time has passed. Theo's arms wind tightly around Liam's back, one locking him in place while the other quests upwards. Theo's fingers slide back through Liam's hair, gripping tight and stroking as he opens to the kiss, returning it with the desperation that Theo had only ever allowed himself while tired or drunk.

Thoughts of cheating and Hayden and _the plan_ fly out of Theo's mind at once. Instead, the longer that they kiss, the longer that Liam shoves him back and Theo clutches him close, the more desperate it all becomes.

 _This_ is right. Fuck everything else.

* * *

Liam's hand _does_ ache, but that's his own fault. By now, the blood has dried. It's definitely not the worst he's done. It'll swell up a bit and that's going to make work harder, but that's a problem for later... He'd been doing good, too. At least Liam's off for the weekend so hopefully his hands will more or less be healed up enough for Scott not to notice. He won't get in trouble per se, but seeing Scott worried and disappointed sucks.

But Scott is far, far from Liam's mind now, not when he's pinning Theo to the wall and kissing him and it's both like old times but also kinda new. Liam realizes that he's actually the same height as Theo now. That's new. The scratch of artful facial hair is also new (but totally not bad). Theo also is _thick_ , as in built, and it's a stupid urge but Liam _totally_ wants to work out with him (and maybe compete a little too).

Those thoughts float away as Liam kisses Theo desperately, continuing to press up against him. Liam makes a pleased sound as Theo wraps an arm around him and a hand goes to stroke through his hair. Usually it's Theo pushing _him_ around, but Liam doesn't care. He'll push for this because he _needs_ this. He feels all the ache and longing - how much he's missed Theo, how he always felt like nothing could ever compare... They're dangerous thoughts.

But Liam's hands shake as he reaches up to touch at Theo. He squeezes at Theo's biceps pointedly ignoring the flare of pain in his right hand. Liam pulls away from the kiss only when he has to take in a deeper breath. He's gasping as he gazes at Theo, lips wet.

"I want you," Liam states. "I _still_ want you." And Liam ducks his head against Theo's neck, still feeling breathless despite the fact that they're no longer kissing. He's pretty sure it's not related to the kissing, but because of what he's just said.

* * *

It's everything that Theo needs even if it is a bad idea, but Theo gave up the idea of adapting society's moral compass a long time ago. This isn't about what's best for everyone. This is about what's best for _him_ , and for Liam. Hayden's feelings don't factor into the equation. Yes, Theo technically occasionally works with her sister at the precinct, but Theo's had lots of people hate him before. He doesn't care about that.

He drinks it all in, welcoming Liam's kiss like it's the only thing keeping him afloat. Hands come to his biceps to squeeze and push, and Theo doesn't bother trying to break free. He's not wearing a suit, or anything that marks him as successful here. Like this, half-naked and still waking up, he's just Theo, and Liam is just Liam. He's not off limits. He's tangible and warm and _here_ , and Theo melts into it. He chases each kiss, deepens them, and pushes for more. He pulls Liam in closer like he's attempting to bar him from escape, and when Liam finally breaks the kiss, Theo breathes reluctantly. He'd needed to, but at the expense of stopping? He's not sure he likes it.

But when Liam eases his way in and buries his face against Theo's neck, hiding and holding in equal measure, Theo lets out a shaky breath and nods. His pulse is pounding in his throat as he reaches out, and when he pulls Liam in close again, there's nothing sexual about it. Theo hugs him, tight. Liam is the only person that Theo can remember _hugging_ in years. Somehow, it seems fitting.

"Stay here, then," Theo says, voice breathless and a little slurred from sleep. He swallows. "Don't go back. Stay here, with me."

* * *

Well, now it's emotional _and_ physical cheating. Liam has locked himself into this. He's acted - he was the first one to initiate a kiss - and he's just admitted to _still_ wanting Theo. Nail in the coffin... Liam thinks it might be more frightening than exciting to be here and pressed up against Theo like this, but the frightening doesn't necessarily feel wrong. Which seems weird to him because doing this _is_ wrong - at least morally or something - but it also feels so right. Somehow. Theo's warm and real and a bit different, sure, but more is the same and familiar than not.

Theo's here and Liam's with him and Liam can still remember how fiercely he'd missed Theo after Theo had moved away. He remembers hugging his body pillow, remembers hanging off of Mason, but it hadn't been the same. Calls and texts weren't enough, somehow the thousands of miles felt like another continent. Deciding to break up didn't magically make things easier, but it felt safer because at least things had ended on _his_ terms and it wasn't Theo who would find someone hotter or smarter.

Theo holds him tight and Liam nuzzles at Theo's neck, rubbing the tip of his nose against the warm skin there and inhaling deeply. Theo smells like swanky body wash and it might not be the old soap smell of before, but Liam likes it.

He doesn't need to even think on the invitation. "Yeah, okay," Liam agrees quickly and his feet fidget, maneuvering in such a way to work his sneakers off one at a time. Once that's done, Liam is looking up, gazing at Theo's handsome sleepy face. He leans in but just touches the tips of their noses together.

"I'm as tall as you now," Liam points out.

* * *

It's a lot to ask, but Theo knows that Liam will do it if he's serious. He'd already freaked out and run away. Coming here at two in the morning, pounding on Theo's door until he'd come to answer it, and now this? If Liam hasn't made up his mind, he's close to it, and Theo almost hates the fact that he's as tired as he is, because he knows that this is monumental. He can feel the clench of relief and ache in his chest at the _thought_ of Liam choosing him, even for this long.

It is the middle of the night, though, and as Liam slowly presses in closer, nuzzling against Theo's neck, Theo winds his arms around him properly, holding Liam closer. He turns his head, burying his face in against Liam's hair, and Theo breathes him in, in return. His scent is... different, maybe, but so familiar that it almost hurts. It's a little like that moment in law school where a woman on campus had taken in a box of donuts from an old chain that Tara had once taken Theo to. It had hurt, but in a good way.

The only remaining uncertainty is whether or not Liam _will_ stay. So when Liam murmurs his agreement, Theo makes a smaller sound and tightens his hold. He feels Liam draw back, but it's only the touch of their noses together that eventually draws a smaller, tired smirk onto Theo's lips. He can't meet Liam's eyes like this without going cross-eyed and so he chuckles, letting his eyes fall shut for Liam to look at him properly. God only knows that Theo's spent hours doing that already.

"Yeah, well... you were bound to catch up to me someday. You filled out nicely, too," Theo adds, smoothing his hands along the solid planes of Liam's back. "I remember you whining all the time that you couldn't get your shoulders to fill out like mine. Looks like you don't need to worry about _that_ anymore."

* * *

Of all the things to say, talking about Liam's height isn't at all important. It might even be a stupid thing to say, but it's at least safer than a lot of other stuff that he _could_ say. So far all Liam's admitted is that he wants Theo and that he's going to stay. Stay for how long though? The night? The weekend? Forever? Liam doesn' know. He's afraid to ask. Because certain answers would mean different things and he's not sure if he's ready to handle some of those answers or their implications.

But Liam is totally on board for being here right now with Theo, for touching him and being touched in return. Until this moment he honestly hadn't realized how much he'd missed Theo, but it's like something's now been ripped open and everything feels like it's gushing out of him or through him, and it's crazy that this is happening - that he's here and Theo's here, Theo's _back._ What are the odds?

He keeps their noses touching. It's a silly thing to do - a sort of Eskimo kiss - but Liam's just happy to be feeling Theo's breath against his skin and Theo's arms around him. Theo doesn't make a big deal out of what he's said either and when a compliment comes his way coupled with strong hands rubbing up his back, Liam feels his cheeks heat up just a little. So sue him, he's thrilled that Theo still likes him physically.

"I didn't whine _all_ the time," Liam mutters playfully as he turns his head from side to side in order to do the Eskimo kiss properly. "You're not looking too bad yourself, old man."

He's teasing, but technically Theo's closer to thirty than twenty now...

* * *

Theo's too tired to worry about what this means versus what it doesn't. In the morning, he'll undoubtedly focus on that, will let himself mull it over and wonder whether Liam is going to _stay_ with him, or go back to Hayden. The thought is an unpleasant one, one that makes something in Theo's chest feel a little hollow. When it comes down to it, though, Theo knows that if that happens, he's still not going to give up. Liam's kiss had been warm and _right_ and familiar, and Theo's not giving that up again.

So with Liam's slow brush of their noses, Theo feels something warm settle deep in his chest. He smiles to himself, and while he only opens his eyes enough to see the dusting of the blush on Liam's cheeks, Theo gives him a small squeeze, indulgent despite the pseudo-insult.

"I'll 'old man' you," Theo dismisses, and then suddenly turns his head. He's not hesitant at all as he presses their lips together again, slow and careful. This time Theo _really_ takes, but not in the frenzied, desperate way from before.

He kisses Liam the way he remembers - the kiss when they'd been alone and quiet and Liam's anger had faded and Theo's bravado had drained out of him. Like that, with Liam, had been some of the only times that Theo had ever felt genuine, and he owes it all to Liam. It's something he indulges in now.

And, when the kiss breaks, Theo lets out a softer breath and wets his lips. "Come back to bed with me."

* * *

Liam has no idea if this is normal or unusual or what. Years later, after no contact, to be with Theo like this still feels so right. It's like that satisfaction you get when fitting the correct puzzle pieces together. Liam is beginning to realize that he'd never actually gotten over Theo, but he'd just buried down his feelings or gave them a heavy sedative, and now they're waking up with vengeance.

And it's intense, a war between wanting to open his mouth and say so much and simply wanting to be smooshed into Theo and not say anything at all. Not that Liam's ever really been able to do that well - the not saying anything part - but Liam is afraid he could mess things up if he talks... Which is then acknowledging that there _is_ something here to be brought up. Things are complicated and Liam doesn't think they're going to get any easier.

Liam doesn't have the chance to give any sort of comeback because Theo is kissing him. And kissing Theo again feels like breathing fresh air or something and it draws Liam in.

He goes willingly, closing his eyes and letting Theo set the pace. It's not dirty, but it's not coy or lacking either. It's the kind of kiss that gets Liam shaky and lightheaded and his heart feels bigger and fuller and he never wants it to end--

But it does and Liam is exhaling slowly, his lips tingly. The invitation to come back to bed has his dick taking more interest, but he does know it's late and Liam tries to not let his mind (or body) go down that direction.

"Yeah, yeah," he agrees. "Lets go."

Reluctantly, Liam forces himself to back away. He's about to extend his hand to grasp onto Theo's own when he sees the dried blood on his swollen knuckles and snatches his hand back.

* * *

In the morning, Theo knows that this will be different. He'll be a little sharper, a little wittier, but right now, he's warm, tired, and quietly thrilled and vindicated. The lingering alcohol in his system probably doesn't help that much, but he hadn't expected Liam to actually come _back_. So when Liam eases back enough to look at him and then agrees, Theo's smile widens.

Coming back to bed can mean a lot of things, and Theo's not one to deny himself something (or someone) he really wants, but before he can think about how he _could_ feasibly start to learn Liam all over again, he stops. He catches a glimpse of Liam's hand, quick - there one minute and gone the next - and then remembers.

" _Right_ , shit, your hand," Theo murmurs. But instead of taking his offer back, instead Theo reaches over and takes Liam's wrist. He gently eases his hand back, looking down at Liam's bloodied, swollen knuckles with a small frown. Thing is, he'd gotten _really_ good at bandaging Liam's hands when they'd been together. Back then, Liam's anger hadn't been well-managed, but then... Theo had been a bitter asshole too. They'd matched.

"C'mon. Bathroom first, then bed. I don't want you bleeding on my sheets," he says, though instead of saying it snidely, Theo lifts Liam's hand up to his lips and brushes a kiss unthinkingly over the back of Liam's knuckles. He guides him away, off down the hall where Theo only breaks away to gather up antiseptic and bandages.

"You punch some _one_ or some _thing?_ "

* * *

It's not as if Liam being in this state is anything _new_ for either of them, but Liam's still not proud of it. It hadn't been "an episode" at least. Those are scary - when he completely blanks out and just feels so fucking pissed off that all he can do is lash out... Theo's seen him lose it before. Theo's even been someone he lost it _on_ and that's something Liam doesn't like to ever remember. Back when they were young and stupid, things hadn't always been smooth sailing, but they'd learned how to take care of each other. Theo had, weirdly enough, stepped up to the plate and really tried to understand his Intermittent Explosive Disorder _and_ help him with it.

Theo's done the first aid thing for him before. It's not always his hands that need it - sometimes Liam's gotten unlucky and ended up with a black eye or split lip in return (which he deserves) but Theo had still been the one to offer help. Liam's dad had joked that Theo liked playing Doctor with him...

Looks like they're going to play Doctor again. Liam doesn't pull his hand away and he lets Theo lead him to the bathroom. He thinks about making some snarky little remark in response to Theo's comment, something involving how he'll definitely try and bleed on the sheets now, but Liam decides to be an adult and not say it.

The bathroom is like the rest of the house - fancy, spacious, modern. At the question, Liam stops glancing around and comes to stand in front of the sink. He knows the drill.

"I punched my steering wheel," is his sheepish answer. "Would you believe me if I said he had it coming?"

* * *

It's like going back in time, in a sense. Theo leads Liam into the bathroom and has the strangest sense of deja vu as he guides Liam's hand under the tap in the sink and runs the water over the back of it. He's careful as he washes the dried blood away, his touch deceptively light, because while it's been almost a decade, he _remembers_ this. Once, a long time ago, Theo had dreamed about this - taking care of Liam's split knuckles or split lips - but it all comes back to him then.

He remembers the way Dr. Geyer had always looked at him favorably back in the day, charmed that someone had been taking care of his son. Theo had made no allusions about his intentions, and while the guy had given him the third degree, he'd backed off when he saw how serious Theo had been. And... yeah, it had been wild and stupid and way too much all at once, but their relationship had just been that way. So as he sinks into this familiarity, he cleans Liam's hand almost on autopilot.

Liam's answer is still enough to draw a quick snort of laughter from Theo, who glances at him. He briefly looks at himself in the mirror - eyes half-lidded, hair a little mussed - but his focus is on Liam.

"I'd believe you if you said he provoked you," Theo teases back, patting Liam's hand dry with a towel, turning the water off, and wetting a cotton ball to apply the antiseptic. "At least it wasn't the wall. I remember _he_ used to give you a run for your money. Or _brick wall_. He kicked your ass back in the day."

* * *

It had taken Liam a good few months to relax when Theo had done this for him (or forced it on him). Liam hadn't wanted Theo to see this side of him, this reckless dark monster that gets the best of him sometimes and acts out. He hadn't kept his diagnosis a secret (not like a few things Theo had tried to not let _him_ in on). But letting Theo see the damage he could do to both himself and others hadn't been something Liam wanted anyone to know.

Much to Liam's frustrated surprise, Theo hadn't taken "no" for an answer. Over the months Theo had gotten really good at doing it too, he'd be quick but thorough and didn't baby or lecture him.

Despite this foreign bathroom and the fact that it's years later, it's still the same now. Liam complies, his face barely twitching at the slight discomfort of the task. By now, Liam's used to this process and honestly Theo's actually gentle - gentler than Liam has ever been with himself.

Liam can't help but grin as Theo teases him. The blip of awkwardness at what he's hit completely gone now. "Well, sixteen-year-old me had _great_ impulse control," he mutters playfully. "Just _loved_ trying to win against walls." Liam is smiling as he leans over and kisses at Theo's shoulder. "You're still good at this, Doctor."

* * *

Liam's grin is evident in his voice, but that doesn't stop Theo from glancing up to see it. He smirks back, quicker, a little softer, and as he reaches for the bandages for Liam's hand, Theo can't help but chuckle to himself. He glances down, setting the bandage against Liam's hand and winds it quick and efficiently.

"Yeah, well, practice _does_ make perfect. Not really a skill you lose after nine years, I guess. Muscle memory." Theo winks, his focus on Liam's hand as he sets the bandage in place and then secures it. It won't be moving any time soon, but Liam will still be able to use his hand just fine. It's nothing that Theo hadn't done countless times before.

"C'mon. Bed. You can tell me _all_ the ways I remind you of your dad later."


	4. Deeper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back with an update! ♥

* * *

_"C'mon. Bed. You can tell me all the ways I remind you of your dad later."_

Theo's grin is quick; he'd always gotten along well with Liam's dad, but he can't resist the little tease anyway. And, taking Liam's good hand despite the look on his face, Theo leads him out of the bathroom and into his bedroom. The moment that Theo steps inside, he remembers his king-sized bed, and he has the quick thought that for the first time, it might feel as though it fits him.

Theo leads the way over to his bed and then lets go of Liam's hand. He turns away with a yawn and strips down to his boxers. He's never been ashamed of his body, and he's not really one to wear pants to bed if he can help it. Theo pulls back the blankets and crawls in, settling back into the pseudo-warm spot left behind. Then, looking over at Liam, he considers and then holds one arm up, clearly making room for Liam.

"C'mere. Get your ass over here."

* * *

Given his early work schedule, Liam isn't usually up this late. Even so, he doesn't feel all that tired. It's hard to be sleepy - to even think about sleep - when he's with a nearly-naked Theo. And they've kissed and touched and hugged. And now Theo's done the first aid gig, proving that he hasn't forgotten (and proving that he's actually gentler than Hayden and nope, not going to think about that). 

Liam's not sure it's muscle memory as much as the fact that Theo actually cared about taking care of him and... still cares? Even after all this time? It's a lot to take in, but it makes him feel good. And warm. And the slight ache from his knuckles doesn't even matter, not when Theo's quick with the bandage and then making a stupid dad-Doctor joke that has Liam snorting. It's low-hanging fruit as far as he's concerned. 

He follows Theo to what he assumes is the bedroom - a room that Liam's never seen because it hadn't been necessary for work. Liam can't see much as they walk, but he doesn't need to. He knows the kind of decor and furnishings that the house possesses - all sleek and classy. It's still like a crazy dream to be walking up to Theo's bed and then squinting to watch as Theo strips out of the sleep pants and then simply gets into bed. Now, Liam knows that he's going to bed _with_ Theo, he's just a little dazed that this is happening at all. He's also shocked to discover how much he _wants_ this to happen too.

It's when Theo prompts him to actually _move,_ that Liam realizes he's only been standing and staring. 

"Yeah, hang on a second," Liam answers and in record time he's stripping down to his boxers and leaving his clothes in a pile on the floor because he's definitely not sleeping in them. Liam's giddy as he crawls into bed and onto his side, allowing Theo to spoon around him - just like old times. Liam closes his eyes, trying to focus on the feel of all that skin behind and against him. A small, content sigh leaves Liam's mouth. He doesn't let himself speak up, afraid that he's going to say something stupid. 

* * *

Just like that, it's like old times all over again. Theo can practically smell Liam's old body wash and see the shorter, boyish haircut as he beckons Liam to join him. It's like sinking into an old reality, a memory worn like a glove, and Theo watches in the dark as Liam seems to snap back to himself and then hasten to do what Theo had told him to do.

It's too dark to make out much, but Theo does catch the glint of moonlight over muscles that Liam _absolutely_ hadn't had before. It's enough to briefly ease the haze of relaxation and sleep away. Theo's been staring at Liam for a few weeks now, mindful of Liam's occasional co-workers as he works, but _also_ mindful of the way that sweat has made his shirt cling to his back on multiple occasions. 

Still, despite the outline of Liam's body, Theo's not actually _seen_ it since coming back. Maybe he just gets a glimpse, but his brain helpfully points out Liam's broad shoulders, tight abs, and strong thighs, and then Liam is slipping under the covers.

Theo blinks, but despite his momentary distraction, Liam settles in against his chest like he was made to fit there. In the past, Liam had been slightly smaller, had been almost a perfect fit against Theo's chest. Now, as Liam settles his back against Theo's chest and Theo wraps his arm around him, pulling Liam back against him, it's perfect. He breathes in Liam's scent and breathes out against the back of his neck, and Theo knows that this isn't something that he's going to give up without a fight.

He tightens his hold and tilts his head, pressing a slow kiss to the back of Liam's neck. Given the position, Theo lets himself touch, lazily, yes, but admittedly curious as he smooths one of his palms down the well-defined planes of Liam's stomach.

"Damn, kid," Theo breathes against Liam's neck, voice lower and amused. "Carpentry's been good to you. Not that I didn't notice, but _damn_."

* * *

While Liam's never been super confident about himself, he feels decently okay about his body. Working out has helped even out his moods and being in shape definitely helps his actual work (where he's still being physical). 

Back in high school, Theo had worked out more than him. Liam had played lacrosse and kept in shape that way. Theo's bigger _now_ though. Not crazy big, but still fit and trim and way too hot and it's honestly been a bad distraction whenever Theo's made his way over to check on the reno's progress. Thankfully Liam hasn't done anything moronic because of it... Yet. 

He doesn't need to hold himself together now though because _Theo_ holds him and that breath ghosting across the back of his neck? It elicits a delightful shiver down Liam's back. Like this, Liam's ass pressed against Theo's crotch and Theo's hands touch him, it's pretty much impossible to _not_ get hard. Liam tries, though. He knows it's late and sex is totally not the most important thing right now. This is also nice. The closeness and cuddling is perfect.

Theo's acknowledgement - the _compliment_ \- has Liam licking his lips and fidgeting because even after all this time, Theo being into him apparently matters to him. It probably shouldn't, but it does. It still fucking does. 

"You're not too bad yourself," Liam tries to joke, hoping that he doesn't _sound_ turned on. As long as Theo's hands don't roam any lower, his secret will stay a secret. 

He can do this. Deep, slow breaths. Resist grinding back to get Theo hard. Stay still. It'll be okay.

* * *

It's honestly interesting, how similar things are now compared to before. Yeah, this is something that they're going to need to talk about, because no matter how right Liam feels in Theo's arms, he's still with Hayden. He'd still broken up with Theo years ago and there are going to be difficult conversations to sort everything out and forge ahead. This isn't exactly a small town and Theo's expecting backlash if things turn out the way that he thinks they will. 

Still... all that said, it's remarkable how it feels like nothing has changed in that moment. Liam still fits in Theo's arms. He's still warm and real. He still sounds the same, albeit slightly older, and when Theo kisses the back of his neck, he still squirms the same way that he always had. It's slight, nothing more than a bit of a fidget, but Theo's pretty sure that he knows what's happening. Maybe Liam isn't pressing his ass back against his crotch, but he remembers the little micro-movements well.

The thing is... it _is_ late, and if Theo's being honest, he's perfectly content. It'll feel more monumental in the morning, he's sure, but he's satisfied having Liam in his arms. 

But he can't pretend that the blast from the past doesn't catch his attention. He can't pretend that feeling Liam squirm like that doesn't make a rush of heat slip through him. Theo smirks against the back of Liam's neck, and while he does take his time with it, he begins to touch. 

It's languid at first, slow, meandering down. But when he reaches the hem of Liam's boxers and feels the rise there, he presses his hand flat against Liam's lower-belly and kisses the back of his neck again.

"Yeah. You know what _else_ I'm ' _not too bad_ ' at? It's been a few years now, but I still remember what you like. If I move my hand lower, are you going to kick my ass?"

* * *

Maybe Liam wants to put off sleep because he has a suspicion that things sure going to be a lot different after they sleep. Tonight still feels like it could maybe be some crazy dream, but if he wakes up in Theo's bed? What then? Or if they _do stuff_ in Theo's bed? That's probably more serious. A lot more serious actually. But doing stuff is a distraction and a distraction would make the morning come slower.

It's just stupidly stupid that they'd both have feelings after all this time, right? It's not how things are supposed to work. At least Liam doesn't think they are. He's been with Hayden longer than he'd been with Theo. He's still with her, technically, and maybe it's not all crazy passionate fireworks, it's not been bad. He loves her. He likes her. He wants her to be happy and yet he's--

If Liam is feeling crazy passionate fireworks _right_ _now_ it could be from the excitement of the reunion. Sexual chemistry. The fact that he's not been with a guy in a while. There's a few good explanations.

Maybe.

But that rationalizing goes up in smoke when Theo's hands begin to touch him. And it's not just re-arranging touching. Liam can tell that much. Theo's hand inches lower... But never goes low enough and Liam bitesthe insides of his cheeks to stay quiet. He's pretty sure that making an impatient sound isn't exactly _allowed_ right now. It becomes impossible to stay silent when Theo talks, however.

Liam has no doubt that Theo still knows what he likes. Liam wants Theo to just go and do it - obviously Theo knows he's turned on - but Theo checks in with him first. Theo gives him an out.

For a moment Liam is motionless and quiet as he thinks.

He moves first: purposely pushing back and rubbing his ass against Theo's crotch. " _Please_. Fucking want you so much," Liam grits out, squeezing his eyes shut tighter as he gives in. Giving in feels right.

* * *

It's a risk, but it's a risk that Theo is willing to take. Yeah, this could end horribly, but given the way that Liam had so hungrily attacked his lips in the entryway of the house, Theo is willing to bet that Liam doesn't have any real objection to this going any further. He knows that _he_ doesn't, but he's not the one who's going to be in the doghouse if his girlfriend ever finds out about this. 

In the back of his mind, he does wonder if he should be objecting to this on principle alone, but he doesn't. Honestly, Theo really doesn't care about Hayden or even the thought of her. Just being this close to Liam, smelling his new body wash and feeling the solid, muscular warmth of his body against Theo's front, Theo doesn't care about anything but either holding him through the night, or remembering what it feels like to have him crying out in pleasure. 

For one heart-stopping moment, Theo honestly isn't sure if Liam is going to go for it. Liam tenses a little and goes still, thoughtful, and Theo waits with bated breath as the seconds tick down. 

Then, just like that, Liam presses back against him, pushing his ass back, and _fuck_ if it's not the best thing that Theo's ever fucking felt. He groans low in the back of his throat, his fatigue lowering his usual defenses, and just like that, everything has changed.

He immediately grinds his hips forward, feeling his dick hardening almost instantly at the position and the sensation. And as Liam's voice rings out, desperate and tight, Theo slides his hand down and cups Liam through his boxers. He feels heat and warmth and familiarity and then he slides his hand back up and then slips it under Liam's boxers. Theo hardly gives him time to breathe before he's wrapping his hand around Liam's dick and giving it a firm stroke.

" _Fuck_ , yeah," Theo murmurs under his breath, heat in his voice. "You feel just as hot as I remember. C'mon, Liam, that's it. Show me how much you want me."

* * *

Liam's usually not the type to beg, but he can't help it right now. The _please_ slips out and as it does, it's like a dam breaking and Liam's all in. Pride doesn't have any room in this. Not when he's with Theo, he's hard, and it's been so long since he's ever wanted _so_ much. Liam wants so much that it's actually difficult to know what to say or do or where to start. 

_Direction_. Liam feels directionless.

But it's simple enough to grind back and encourage Theo to get hard and meet his purposeful teasing. Theo doesn't disappoint him either. Liam hears Theo's groan and then he's feeling hardness rubbing against his boxer-clad ass. Liam obviously hasn't had gay sex in a while, but it's still familiar. Yeah, there might be a dick instead of you know, girly parts, but it's _Theo_. They'd done _a lot_ together and his body apparently remembers it. 

Liam's own hips jerk when Theo's hand first presses against his erection. It's not even that _much_ of a touch - not really - but fuck, Liam is so wired from it. It only gets better when Theo's hand helps itself to reach into his boxers and wrap around his cock. Liam's gasping and squirming to fuck into Theo's hand _and_ rub against the hardness against his ass. Liam's not even sure that he's managing it at all. Theo's voice is hot and low and coaxing and Liam's hands are scrambling to stroke up Theo's arm, to touch really anything he can. 

They used to need to be quiet - not all the time, just whenever Liam's parents happened to be home. More out of common courtesty, really because while Liam's parents _knew_ that they were having sex, neither one of them wanted to be overheard. 

They don't need to worry about it now, however. So, Liam lets himself moan out Theo's names as he tries to get into a rhythm of grinding back against Theo's dick. 

"Will--" he starts shakily, fingernails digging into Theo's forearm. "Will you fuck me?" It's difficult to form sentences but Liam apparently wants to keep trying. "You wanna fuck me right?Tell me you're gonna-- Need you to give it to me. Need you go fuck me. Theo." 

Just this bit of talking and action has Liam's cock aching and dripping.

* * *

This is something that Theo's been thinking about for almost a decade now, how _good_ it had felt to have Liam against him, desperate and squirming. It's not that he's been celibate all this time - far from it - but no matter how many men and women he'd fucked during his time at school, none of them had come close to giving him the feeling that Liam had. Yeah, some of the sex had been good, but none of it had been fulfilling. Theo hadn't thought about it for more than the time it had taken it to happen. 

The difference between them and Liam is astronomical. Just feeling the way that Liam fits back against him and almost loses it at Theo's touch is enough to send heat racing through him. Liam pushes back against him, rubs back and coaxes Theo to hardness. Liam's nails dig into Theo's forearm as Theo strokes his dick slowly, feeling the familiar weight of it in his hand. 

God, _everything_ about Liam's body had made Theo wild years ago. Feeling the subtle changes, learning the way that Liam is _now?_ Theo can't wait to indulge. So, when Liam just goes for it - asking Theo to _fuck him,_ no, begging for it - Theo groans low in his throat and presses his hips forward, grinding slow against Liam's ass. It feels perfect, feels thrilling, and he knows without needing to question it that this is going to happen.

"Easy. Easy, Liam. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah, of course I want to fuck you. And I'm _going_ to. Fuck, you need it so bad, don't you?" Theo's voice is low, almost a growl as he grinds his hips forward, stroking Liam's dick. He doesn't miss how wet Liam's dick is, and _fuck_ , right, he'd missed that. Theo wets his lips. 

God, I forgot how wet you get when you _really_ want to get fucked. Has _anyone_ fucked you since me?"

* * *

God, Liam can't believe that he's here with Theo and that this is happening. Liam may have been the one who suddenly left (fled) but he'd come back hours later. Liam had been the one to kiss Theo first and now they're here, in Theo's bed, nearly naked and a hand is on his dick. Yeah, things are progressing pretty quickly - progressing to the point where he's talking about them fucking - but Liam can't fathom stopping.

It's crazy knowing that it's almost been a decade since he's been with Theo and while there _are_ some differences, there's more that's familiar to him. Theo's a little older, a little bigger, there's the facial hair and the foreign bed and bedroom, but none of that deters Liam because what _is_ familiar feels so damn good, so welcome. It's not _just_ that he's horny either. There's something _more_ here, somethingunderneath and it's something that makes Liam feel like he'd jump off a cliff for - energized, scared, reckless.

Between the layers of their boxers, Liam can feel the hard outline of Theo's dick against his ass, teasing and tempting. The need to rush toward sex hasn't been so pressing in years, but right now it's pounding through Liam's body. Fuck, he wants Theo inside of him, the intensity, the connection. Theo's voice is perfect, rough with desire and his words causing a thrill to race across Liam's skin. 

One thing Liam isn't expecting is the question that Theo asks him - if anyone's fucked him since Theo. Liam stops pushing back, embarrassment flushing through him. Hayden and he had been fairly open in the bedroom but he doesn't want to bring her name up right now. 

But he needs to say _something_ so Liam finally admits, "You're the only guy I've been with, but... I've been pegged."

* * *

Theo doesn't _know_ anything about Liam's life directly after the break-up, and it's a topic that he wants to hound one of these days. He wants to know everything, how Liam had coped, why he'd done it, what his dad had said, whether or not he'd tried to distract himself with schoolwork and sex and alcohol the way that Theo had. Maybe they hadn't been healthy before, their relationship explosive and wild and bordering on obsessive, but Theo still wants to know. He wants that part of Liam's life back.

Still, he isn't intending to ask about _Hayden_. Yeah, he wants to know about her so he can give Liam all the reasons why he shouldn't be with her, but not right now. He asks because it's hard to picture Liam giving this up. While he'd been reluctant and a little nervous back when they'd been in high school, Liam had fucking _loved_ having Theo's dick up his ass. He'd always come hard, had always lost himself in it.

So, Liam going still and then admitting that he'd been pegged? Theo stills for a second, then makes a smaller, sympathetic sound in the back of his throat. He leans in, kissing the back of Liam's neck as he strokes his hand up to the head of Liam's cock, his thumb rubbing against the sensitive underside. He feels the slickness of Liam's precome and grinds his own cock against Liam's ass, the way he remembers Liam liking. Just the _threat_ of sex, and all...

"You missed it, huh?" Theo asks, teeth quickly pressing to Liam's throat as he pulls Liam back against his body a little harder. "Missed how good it felt to lose yourself like that? Not the same, was it? Don't blame you; I did the same thing at first, but whoever she was, her dick couldn't satisfy you the way mine can." 

And, as if to punctuate it, Theo gives his own hips a quick snap forward, mimicking the way he'd once fucked Liam hard and slow. 

* * *

His current girlfriend is exactly who Liam _doesn't_ want to think about. Oh, he's going to have to later. He'll have to think about her and talk about her and then talk _to_ her. And Liam doesn't want any of those things, okay. He wishes this night would just last forever and they'd be stuck in a groundhog loop because _consequences_ suck and he's not dumb enough to think that his actions won't have them. And these consequences are going to be bad too. Liam's maybe not the most in touch with his feelings, but he's always thought he had a good moral compass.

But he can't stop right now. Things aren't supposed to go down like this. Liam isn't supposed to technically cheat - emotional or otherwise - but everything is messy and he can't imagine trying to untangle himself and go. He's already tried to leave and it hadn't felt right.

It feels right to be with Theo again. Liam doesn't want it to stop, so even if he has to admit that he'd actually done pegging with a girl (Hayden), he does it. He's not going to chicken out. Theo's fingers rub teasingly over the tip of his cock before sliding under and Liam is left shuddering and groaning. It's so easy to lose himself in Theo, to let the sensations wash over him and pull him down, and this is all Liam wants - to fall _into_ Theo.

_'Her dick couldn't satisfy you the way mine can.'_

Theo's words have Liam flushing as a dual heat and embarrassment surge through him. Theo's not wrong, but hearing the phrase 'her dick' sounds dirty. Theo's thrust forward has Liam writhing as he scrambles to reach a hand behind to touch at Theo's hair. As amazing as it feels to have Theo's hand on his dick, precome being smeared around, Liam has the definite urge to turn over so he can better touch Theo. 

"Yeah, I want it - want your dick," Liam says, his voice tighter with need. 

* * *

Once, a long time ago, Theo had been more cautious with what he'd said, at least to a point. He'd been open, and he hadn't been afraid to talk a little dirty here and there, but over time, it's gotten better. In his experience, people _like_ dirty talk even if they don't want to admit it, and so even though it's a bit of a risk to say what he does, and even though he can't _see_ Liam's blush, he knows Liam is feeling it. One day, Theo will ask about the pegging, if it had been to scratch an itch or if it had been the girl's request. For now, he has other things on his mind.

(In the back of his mind, Theo feels a small rush of pride and accomplishment at the thought of being Liam's _only_ male experience, but he's not going to go there yet. Now isn't time for that.)

Instead, Theo shivers at the way that Liam's hand slides back through his hair. He feels his fingers stroke and touch, but even Theo can see that the angle is a little awkward. As much as he'd _love_ to rut against Liam's ass and feel him come, doing this with Liam facing away from him isn't what Theo really wants. Not after so long. Not after what feels like a lifetime.

Theo lets out a sharper breath, then says, "fuck, you'll get it, just a second." In a heartbeat, he props himself up onto his elbow and just like that, he reaches over to roll Liam onto his back. Theo rolls on top of Liam, settling himself between Liam's legs, and when he looks down at him - Liam's features illuminated in the moonlight coming in through the window - he's struck again by how much he'd _missed_ this. By how much he _wants_ Liam.

"I remember you being hot. I don't remember you being fucking beautiful," Theo says lowly. Somehow, it doesn't sound lame; he means it. He leans in then, catching Liam's lips in another kiss, slower this time, and he rolls their hips down together. Like this, he can't stroke Liam's dick, but he _can_ rock against it.

* * *

Technically Liam is bi, but he hasn't dated or messed around with any guys before or after Theo. He'd met Hayden and he hadn't needed to worry about it at all. Not that it _is_ a big worry. Mason is gay, but being in a same-sex relationship can require more work because society can suck. Liam still remembers telling his parents about Theo - about being seriously interested in a _guy_ \- and his parents had fully supported him, but also warned Liam that it had the possibility of being difficult at times (while also adding on that good people are always worth it).

Given that he's been with Hayden so long, pretty much everyone in his life thinks of him as straight, but Liam doubts that that's going to be the big issue once this gets out in the open. The issue is going to be that he cheated.

But Liam isn't even concerned about any of that right now. He knows it'll be bad, but God, he's missed Theo so much and he can't help but desperately chase after this. Theo seems to get a picture of what he wants and Liam's rolled onto his back with Theo settling on top of him. The weight and press of Theo against him is perfect and Liam is glancing up, eyes bright as Theo's words hit him.

Liam is speechless. Hot is one thing, but _beautiful?_ He doesn't think Theo ever called him that before. Thankfully Liam doesn't need to come up with anything to say because Theo's leaning down and connecting their mouths. Liam kisses back, his hands reaching out and touching down Theo's shoulder blades and back, hungry and curious. It's Liam who licks into Theo's mouth first before nipping on Theo's bottom lip. Wanting things harder - or at least thinking that he does - Liam scratches down Theo's back as he pushes up against Theo.

* * *

When Theo had been younger, he never would have dared to use that word. _Beautiful_. He'd thought it had just been a line that brain-dead people gave to their girlfriends to get pussy. Yeah, he'd loved Liam - they'd struggled to get to that point, but he had - but he'd never allowed himself to even entertain the idea. Liam had been hot. He'd been a whirlwind of intensity. He'd been the one constant in Theo's life that _hadn't_ sucked, and he'd pulled Theo in like a moth to a flame. They'd practically immolated and when Liam had called it off, Theo had simply assumed that the fire on Liam's side had burned itself out.

It hadn't for him, which is why he's here. The ultimate act of desperation, right? Moving back to a place just because it had been the only place that he'd known Liam and stability.

But there's something about having grown up that makes all his hesitation over the word 'beautiful' just disappear. It's not even that he's tired; it's that Theo's been through too much to give a shit about how vulnerable it makes him look. And if the look on Liam's face is any indication, it had been worth it. 

Just for a split second, Liam looks stricken, and then they're kissing, hot and desperate and hungry. It's like fire licking curiously at kindling, that first spark of intensity. Then Liam is pushing up under him, licking into Theo's mouth, tasting him and scratching at his shoulders. Theo groans, arching his back into the touch as he grinds down. He sucks at Liam's tongue, and while it would be _so_ easy to push this further, to make it filthy, Theo presses Liam down against the bed and kisses him deep. It's hungry at first, then he slows it down, settling between Liam's legs properly. And when Theo breaks the kiss, his voice is breathless.

"I'm gonna fucking take you apart," he promises, voice low against Liam's lips. "And then I'm going to put you back together, and you won't be able to go back after."

* * *

At one time Liam had honestly believed that he was going to be with Theo forever. Despite Liam never really considering himself very romantic or desperately wanting to get married, he'd teased Theo about it. Which is likely saying something as Hayden and he aren't even engaged (a topic his family and friends have begun now to tease him over). 

It hadn't been perfect between Theo and him, but it was intense and it had sucked Liam right in. Fights, although sometimes violent, never lasted long. It was as if neither one of them could actually last holding a grudge and staying away from the other (because they couldn't). Theo had patched him up, cheered him on during lacrosse games and stuck up for him if someone decided to be an asshole. Theo had gone slow with him when he needed it, teasing and teaching (which is only somewhat ironic considering how they met). 

Despite the part-time jobs and honor roll and not even really having a home sometimes, Theo had pushed himself to be around and available whenever he could be. Liam hadn't even thought of it all that much, he'd just wanted to spend nearly all his time with his boyfriend.

And now Theo is back and it doesn't seem like any of their feelings have burnt away. Theo meets his passion and it's all heat and hunger and the perfect way Theo effortlessly takes back control of the kiss, leading them into something deep that has a Liam shuddering, but it's Theo's words that have Liam gasping. It's not just arousal that slams into him, but something raw and vulnerable too. Liam's arms tighten around Theo, pulling him closer into a hug, practically clinging to him.

" _Fuck_ ," Liam whispers as he nuzzles against Theo's neck. "Do it. I'm here. I'm yours."

* * *

There's a part of Theo that wants to sneer at Hayden and her existence, but the thing is... there's really no point. Yeah, he could be jealous if Liam actually cared that much; he had been jealous at first, upon hearing that Liam had been with Hayden for over five years, but now, after the last few hours? There's no point.

Liam had been the one to rush back in to see him, had been the one to rouse Theo from sleep and had been the one to kiss him like he'd been starving for it. Even now, looking down at Liam's clear desperation, the familiar pinch to his brow, the _need_ on his face, Theo knows that Liam needs this. Needs him. Considering that Liam isn't alone in that need, it's all the sweeter.

So when Liam reaches up and wraps his arms around Theo tight enough that Theo isn't sure he could get away if he wanted to, he doesn't bother fighting it. Instead, he lets Liam cling. He feels Liam's hands gripping at his back, feels each emotion-filled puff of breath against the side of his neck, and not even Theo can pretend that this is _just_ sex. This isn't just physical. It's emotional. It's reconciliation. It's forgiveness and need and... whatever the fuck else. He just knows that he's not letting go of this again.

"Yeah, you are," Theo breathes back, voice warm with approval. "But that goes both ways. You're mine, I'm yours. Good trade-off." 

Theo presses Liam back against the bed, rolls their hips together pointedly, and he slides his arms underneath Liam's shoulders to keep him pressed close. They rock together for a few moments, just chasing the sensation of learning each others' bodies, but when Theo feels Liam's breathing begin to go a little more ragged against his throat, he pulls back and then reaches over to his side-table. He pulls out a half-used bottle of lube and a pack of condoms and when he turns back to Liam, Theo kisses his forehead.

"You still want me to fuck you? 'Cuz I can get you off like this instead."

* * *

Liam's not technically in a place to be offering himself to someone or claiming to belong to anyone. At least, he's not _supposed_ to be saying this because technically he's with Hayden. And he's sure that someone is on a soap box yelling how people shouldn't _belong_ to each other or whatever, but it's different with Theo. It's always been different with Theo. Liam can't help it.

This feels so right and it's not as if Liam's life had felt _wrong_ before, it just wasn't like _this._ Liam had been okay, been happy enough, but it almost felt like he was just going through the motions at times. Maybe he's just caught up in the excitement of this, the high of being reckless and impulsive and just going for it - going for something he never thought he'd have again - but Liam doesn't think so.

All those years ago, things with Theo had been real. Maybe Liam had been young, maybe it was a bit of a whirlwind, but it was the best relationship he'd ever been in - his first serious one too and now Theo is back and Liam doesn't want this to stop. He can't picture not being able to kiss Theo again. So Liam clings to Theo, uncaring if he's getting emotional over this. Warmth of a different kind filters through Liam when Theo assures him that the claiming each other goes _both_ ways. 

Theo rocking against him may not hold much finesse, but it still feels good, it's still friction, their boxer-constrained dicks rubbing against each other. Liam is enthusiastic, basking in the feel of Theo on and against him. Theo's smell. Theo's skin. Theo's voice. Everything. Everything is so good and then Theo is shifting and Liam is trying to re-focus but when he realizes what Theo's gone for - condoms and lube - Liam takes a sharper breath.

The question is a no-brainer.

"No... You're gonna make love to me," Liam challenges, voice quiet but insistent. 'Making love' denotes a certain _kind_ of sex, at least it had back when they were regularly screwing. Liam had first teased Theo about _it_ \- about going slow and deep and it involving a lot of kissing - and Liam hadn't wanted it like that _all_ the time, but he wants it now.

* * *

Theo is honestly open to whatever Liam wants now, so long as it has nothing to do with stopping or leaving. He doesn't care if Liam wants him to just grind against him. He doesn't even care if Liam wants him to stop with the sexual aspect and move it to kissing. It feels like a familiar whirlwind, something intense and all-encompassing in a way that should be terrifying, and maybe even was once, but isn't anymore. Right now, all Theo wants to do is stay here, to keep living in this moment, and so when Liam gives Theo his answer, Theo's smiling before he can decide whether or not he wants to.

Liam's voice is softer, challenging, and just like that, it's like a whisper of memory against Theo's mind. He remembers Liam's boyish grins, remembers the gentle teasing, the coaxing, Liam trying to pick fun at him while secretly wanting more. He remembers how that teasing had broken apart, how each movement of their bodies had only made Liam clutch Theo tighter, had only made the moment that much more intense.

Theo doesn't need to be told again. Before Liam can tease him further, Theo already has the lube in his hand. He leans down for a slow, deep kiss, chasing Liam's taste - so familiar, and yet slightly different after all this time - and when he breaks the kiss, there's more intensity in Theo's expression. 

"Yeah. I'm gonna make love to you," he confirms, and then leans down to press a trail of kisses down Liam's throat as he gets to work.

It's a simple matter to strip down, both pairs of boxers pulled off and shoved aside and then it's just all bare skin and heat and intensity. Theo slicks his fingers and, like it hasn't been nine years, Liam immediately moves for him. He spreads his legs and Theo presses in closer. They kiss, slow, exploring, and Theo takes his time to build Liam's body up into a more relaxed state, to coax his muscles into loosening enough for him.

The first slide of Theo's finger into Liam's body is nothing but scorching heat and closeness. Theo feels Liam's hands grip his shoulders desperately and Theo hikes Liam's leg over his hip as he slowly works him open. One finger becomes two and then two begin to thrust and stretch. Theo's careful, mouthing kisses at Liam's throat, kissing his lips when the urge to suck a mark rears its head. He throws himself into this, into the feeling of what he's been missing for so _goddamn_ long. 

"That's it," Theo breathes against Liam's lips. "You remember how to be good for me, don't you? Just hold on, I've got you."

* * *

Yeah, it had been Liam who teased Theo about it. Liam had used the term too. _Making love_. It sounds like something a damsel in distress would moan about in a shitty romance novel.

_"You makin' love to me, Theo Raeken?" Liam had asked, sounding pretty breathless despite the slower pace of Theo sliding into him. It was supposed to be a joke, to sound incredulous like "making love" was somehow a ridiculous thing for **them** , but even Liam knew he didn't manage it. _

_Theo simply smirked, confident and knowing as he replied, "Yeah. I am. just proving that there's more than one way for me to take you apart." And Theo hadn't been wrong._

Despite the teasing, they both know that the other liked it.

Liam knows why he'd teased Theo about it too. He'd teased Theo because going slow had felt a little dangerous somehow, the intensity a lot to handle… It's been years since Theo and he have been together, so why should they rush through it? Why should it be fast and frenzied fucking? 

It shouldn't be and it's not going to be. 

Theo's confirmation has Liam's stomach doing flips, anticipation twisting with excitement. Sex and fucking is one thing, but this is going to be _more_. Liam is helpful when he can be, lifting his hips for Theo to remove his boxers. It would feel almost dream-like to be spreading his legs for Theo, but the thrill keeps Liam grounded. Theo doesn't rush and as pressing as the need is, Liam doesn't whine to hurry Theo up either. He drinks in the kissing, drinks in their nakedness and closeness. 

Liam shakes as one slick finger pushes into him. It's been a while since he's had this done - even longer since it's been _Theo_ fingering him, but it's good. It's hot to even have Theo touching him like this, intimate and with the intention of fucking him. Theo's skillful and sure and keeps him pleasantly distracted with kissing. 

Dazedly, Liam's hands touch wherever they can, stroking and squeezing, fingernails lightly trailing down skin. Two fingers pumping inside of him has Liam's toes curling and his hips raising. Fingering mimics fucking - it's the first step - and Liam's beginning to really get into it.

But it's Theo's words that have Liam writhing, an aroused zing of energy jolting through him. His nails dig into Theo's shoulders.

"I know how to be good for you," Liam murmurs, voice tighter and desperate. "Gonna be so good for you, babe. I promise." Liam doesn't even realize he's used the pet name.

* * *

Liam's body is searing hot around Theo's fingers, and as he slowly fucks into that tight heat, Theo can't help but focus on Liam, on the fact that this is even happening. It's not like he'd been celibate all those years, and it's not like this is the only time he's done this very thing since Liam had dumped him, but it's different with Liam. Looking down at him, watching the desperate twist to his expression, and feeling each gentle drag of nails and press of lips against his skin, Theo can't help but want to make this special.

Maybe he's fucked other guys since, but he hasn't made love to anyone since Liam. So Theo is careful as he works Liam's body open for him, soothing and coaxing. He feels every twitch of Liam's muscles around his fingers, and watching him writhe and feeling the press of his nails only adds to the experience. 

The pet name is what catches Theo's attention. All it takes is that soft promise for a surge of arousal to work its way through Theo's body. He feels the rush of it prickle over his skin as he shivers, and when he leans in and presses a kiss to Liam's throat, his voice is rougher.

"I missed hearing you call me that," Theo admits.

And as he kisses up Liam's throat, he draws his fingers back and slowly works a third in. He doesn't curl them, doesn't push Liam close to orgasm, because while he _could_ get him off, Theo wants to take him apart more intimately. He falls back into it, kissing Liam's sounds away, fighting the urge to mark up his throat. Theo fucks and stretches Liam open with his fingers, and when the edge of _too tight_ finally eases off, he reluctantly draws back and slides his fingers free. Theo's cock is hard and aching but he still doesn't rush it as he leans in and steals another kiss. 

"You still good for this, Liam?" Theo asks, reaching over for the lube and condoms. "This position okay? You comfortable?"

* * *

It may be what he wants, but it's always a little awkward to have fingers up his ass. Hayden had been slow and hesitant with it, her eyes flicking up to try and watch for any signs of discomfort. Liam had tried to be patient, knowing that it was her first time doing this, and he'd appreciated that she was open to it, but Theo had been right - Liam hadn't felt satisfied.

Theo is thorough and sure, but not rushed with stretching him. It had been Theo who introduced Liam to this in the first place. It both feels like a long time ago and like Liam can remember all the little details, like how awkward he'd been, how he'd kept saying he was fine and that Theo didn't need to baby him, but Theo had known exactly how to do it and how fast and Liam had eventually let Theo take control.

Liam could never refer to Theo as baby, but _babe?_ Theo was hot so it made sense. _Babe_ would be used for the girl-equivalent, so Liam had just gone with it. It slips out now because Liam is caught up in the moment, but clicks into place when Theo speaks up and admits that he'd actually missed it. 

Liam opens his mouth to say something - he doesn't even know what - but then another finger is worked inside him and the stretch increases. Instead of speaking, he exhales shakily and attempts to relax. When they'd been seeing each other, screwing regularly had been a thing and the prepping part had been fairly easy. That isn't the case now. It's not _difficult,_ but it takes time and conscious effort to try and relax and be patient (mostly the patient bit).

Fingers sliding out of him leave an odd emptiness that Liam hasn't felt in a while. But there's also anticipation and Theo reaching for lube - and condoms. They'd started with condoms - back then - but after getting tested and being committed... they hadn't continued using them. And Liam doesn't want to use them now. It's stupid, but he doesn't want any barriers between them. 

"I'm clean," Liam blurts out as his head darts up to look at Theo. "I get tested." He quickly swallows before forcing himself to continue. "But you know, it's up to you."

* * *

Theo isn't exactly thrilled with the idea of using condoms, but he _also_ doesn't know how much things have changed. It's late at night, Liam had woken him up, and these last seven minutes or so have been one slow, intense, extended moment between them. Theo doesn't want to break the momentum they've built together in order to ask whether or not Liam wants him to use condoms. He's just assuming that the answer is _yes_. Liam's probably been with a few girls since, and Theo definitely has, and Theo expects Liam to be cautious. 

They'd only stopped using condoms before because they'd both gotten tested together. It had been a stupid way to show commitment without being obvious about it at the time, but Theo knows why he'd done it. He'd _wanted_ that closeness, that intensity. He'd wanted to see the way that Liam's eyes had grown wide with the added sensation, and he'd wanted Liam to sink into it and lose himself even more.

Theo doesn't think to ask now. It's safer if they wait, even if he _is_ clean. So when Liam suddenly blurts out what he says, promising that he's _clean_ , Theo falters visibly. He looks at Liam quickly, expression suddenly much more assessing, and-- fuck. _God_ , Liam is gorgeous. Theo feels something twist in his chest, something older and possessive. Something he'd thought that Liam had ripped out of him after the break up. He draws in a slow breath, considers, and then tosses the pack of condoms back on the bed.

"I'm clean, too," Theo says, and marvels at how trusting (and stupid) they both have to be to just accept the promise from each other. "Didn't want to assume. But... fuck, if you're okay without a condom, I'm cool with that."

He's more than cool with it, actually. Theo swallows thickly, and when he eases in closer, he takes a moment to slide one of the pillows down and tucks it under Liam's hips. He settles himself between Liam's legs and reaches for the lube, and it feels almost surreal as he prepares himself, each touch quick and almost dismissive. He tosses the lube aside after and reaches down, bracing his cock as he lines himself up with Liam's stretched hole. 

"You remember, right? Breathe deep. Bit intense at first," Theo warns. 

Then he begins to slowly push in, groaning softly at the immediate press of hot skin against the head of his cock. But it doesn't stop there. Theo reaches over with his free hand and - without needing to be asked - he threads his fingers between Liam's and holds his hand firmly. Fuck not being connected like this. Theo's waited long enough.

* * *

Until now, Liam _had_ been monogamous with Hayden. Despite that being the case, given the fact that his Dad's a doctor, Liam has always got tested regularly. It just makes sense because... case in point right here. Liam has no reason to not trust Hayden, but Hayden probably thought the same about him and now... _this_. Liam is going to let Theo fuck him - Liam _wants_ Theo to fuck him without a condom just like old times. But shit, Theo isn't just a one night stand. Theo isn't a one-and-done thing either.

Theo, proving that he's as stupid and into this as he is, agrees to forgo the condom. Liam feels a little dazed that this is happening at all. He lies on the bed, eyes wide and body still weirdly wired and waiting. Liam lifts his hips up when Theo slides a pillow under. He's naked and hard, his legs spread and Liam watches Theo come close and settle over him. Liam's heart is quick but steady. A twist of anticipation follows as Theo slicks up his cock and then the bottle is being thrown away. 

They're really doing this and all the scummy feelings Liam feels about cheating are nowhere to be found.

Liam licks his lips as he feels the press Theo's dick - hot and bare and wet against his waiting hole. God, it's been almost a decade since they've been close like this, since he's felt so charged and _alive._ Theo warns him and Liam does try to relax, but it's difficult. It's been a while since he'd done this with Hayden, his body first uncertain at the discomfort of the thicker head of Theo's cock pressing into him.

But Theo goes for his hand and Liam grasps it back, his muscles relaxing and Liam exhaling slowly. The discomfort eases. It's just intensity and _them._

"Love you, Theo," Liam murmurs, his voice strained. His other hand comes to stroke through Theo's hair. "I still love you."

* * *

Theo doesn't rush a second of it as he presses slowly into Liam's body. Each second of it is a visceral heat, but it goes beyond that. It's not _just_ physical, it's everything that comes with it too. Liam's muscles resist him at first and Theo works his hips in slow, careful circles until Liam manages to relax. There's a single, shuddering moment of uncertainty - that edge of intensity - and then Liam's body opens for him and Theo's lips part on a soundless gasp as the head of his cock presses into Liam's body.

He feels Liam's grip on his hand suddenly increase and Theo looks down in time to see the conflicted pain-pleasure on Liam's face. It's been awhile. Theo could always tell when he'd left it too long, before, and nine years is _way_ too fucking long. So he's careful, working his way in slow as he sinks in deeper. 

Theo _feels_ the moment that Liam relaxes enough to let him in. It's a gradual release of tension, like acceptance, and Theo curses softly under his breath as he pushes in deep enough to not need to support his cock. Theo draws his hand away, bracing his arm beside Liam's head, but when he looks down at him again, Theo has one second to be surprised by the look on Liam's face before he feels the careful stroke of fingers through his hair.

Then Liam talks. Just seven words, but Theo knows right then - with the rush of what that _means_ , and the way the words cut loose some of the bitterness that had been lingering over the years - that this is it. He's never fucking letting Liam go again. Not for anyone.

"I love you too. I never stopped," Theo manages, his voice just as strained. 

He can't help it. With a low groan, rougher and filled with _everything_ , Theo leans down. He feels Liam's muscles clench around him and he bottoms out as he catches Liam's lips in a kiss. It isn't careful and tentative, but it isn't rough and possessive. It's somewhere in between, something deep and soft and desperate as Theo squeezes Liam's hand and kisses the breath from his lungs.

* * *

God, he still loves Theo. After all this time and despite everything that's happened, Liam loves Theo... It had been Liam that broke things off - who broke up with Theo and likely broke Theo's heart too. It was him who couldn't deal with the anxiety and the distance and he'd ruined it all because he hadn't been strong enough or mature enough. Even now Liam doesn't feel great about it - how could he?

But Liam was just an idiot kid back then - he'd been seventeen when Theo had moved away for school and Theo had tried desperately to keep things afloat. Liam had hated the distance, hated the reliance on their cellphones or laptops to stay connected. A call or a text just wasn't the same as Theo _being_ with him.

Like they're together now, Theo over him, Liam's legs spread and body welcoming. Theo's dick may be pressing its way inside of him but admitting that he loves Theo and then _hearing_ it be returned? It's overwhelming in the best way possible and almost takes him out of the moment. Theo leans down and pushes in deeper and Liam's moan is muffled by Theo's mouth.

He returns the kiss, eyes closing, hands moving and touching and rubbing whatever they can reach - Theo's shoulders, down his arms, the sides of his face. It's been too long since he could reach out and touch Theo and now that Liam can, he never wants to stop. Liam has the stupid thought that he feels full _everywhere_ \- his ass, his heart - but he's too busy kissing Theo to say anything (which is probably a good thing). Instead, his lips move and open for Theo and he hooks his ankles around Theo's calves, pulling him in closer.

* * *

'Making love' is different when you're _in_ love. It's not just slow and soft; it _means_ something, and as Theo feels Liam begin to fall apart under him, pliant and desperate and touching him everywhere, he knows that this means the world. _This_ means that nothing is ever going to drag him away from Liam again. Theo doesn't even care about how extreme that sounds. If he has to be the one to talk to Hayden himself, he'll do it, because Liam has been his for a _long_ time. It just hadn't been the right time.

Theo wants it to be now, though. They're both older, they've both been through a lot, and there are going to be rocky moments. He's still bitter about Liam leaving, even if he thinks he understands _why_ , but it doesn't matter right now. Right now, Theo focuses on how warm and soft Liam's skin is under his touch. He focuses on the way that Liam opens for him, the way that Liam keeps touching him and stroking him and clutching at his shoulders like there's any way that Theo would leave _now_. 

It's been too long since he's felt this, since he's had Liam squirming under him, since he's swallowed each of Liam's moans. Theo kisses him, licking into his mouth, and when he feels like Liam can take it, he draws back just enough to rock his hips forward. And... _fuck_ , Liam is tight, and hot. Theo shudders, groaning low in his throat as he falls into a rhythm. It's slow and sweet, and it's almost like going back in time. His body still remembers the perfect angle, still remembers where Liam is most sensitive.

Theo breaks the kiss and leans in, pressing slow kisses to Liam's throat. He doesn't suck marks there, but he does lick and scrape his teeth over the skin there, his own breath hitching.

"I've got you. I've got you, Liam," Theo promises, voice hot. "Just let me make you feel good."

* * *

It does mean something. It means so much. So damn much, actually. Liam can't change what he'd done in the past, he can't undo his decisions or mistakes and he doesn't know if he'd even want to... 'cuz maybe things were _supposed_ to happen this way, maybe if Liam hadn't broken up with Theo back then, something else would have happened. Maybe they needed to go through all of that to get to this point where it's so obvious - obvious to both of them.

Everything's going to change from this point. Liam doesn't know what he's going to exactly do about Hayden and he can't imagine how the talk with his parents or Mason will go, but somehow Liam just knows that it'll be okay. Theo will likely come with him too. Theo's always been good at that kind of thing - backing him up or supporting him.

And how fucking lucky is Liam for being able to have this chance again? 

Liam's hands touch what he can, both learning and re-learning Theo. His explorations become jerky when Theo's hips actually start to move and even adjusts to make it better for him. 

Getting fucked - at least by Theo - feels a little like everything's out in the open. Liam is exposed and can't hide, but he doesn't want to. He wants Theo to know how amazing he feels, he wants _Theo_ to feel amazing too. It's a staggering connection that pulls at him and Liam doesn't fight it, he goes willingly, clinging to Theo and his own hips lifting to meet each thrust.

"You've got me, you have me," Liam affirms in an almost sigh. "And I do feel good-- you're making me feel so fucking good, babe." Liam's dick is still hard, his body wired, but he isn't in a rush to come. Still, he clenches around Theo's cock purposefully.

* * *

Theo's focus narrows in on Liam and nothing else. Distantly, he's aware of the things in the room _connected_ to Liam, like the sheets under them and the bed rocking as Theo rolls his hips, but everything outside the room is gone. It feels cliche even in the back of his mind, but coming back to Beacon Hills, coming back to _Liam_ feels like coming home. Theo's lived in a lot of places. He'd skipped around the foster system and back again, had ditched it to live on his own, and he's lived in too many dorms to count over the past nine years. But nowhere - not one place - has felt like this.

This is sex, but in a way, the sex is just an afterthought. It doesn't mean that Theo doesn't ache for this, doesn't feel Liam's warmth and heat and pleasure almost like it's a drug slipping deep beneath his skin. It just means that the sex is only the manifestation of something that Theo's been feeling for a long time. Something that had only reared its head again in full when he'd seen Liam standing in his doorway, stunned to see him again after so long.

When Theo slides his arms slowly under Liam's shoulders and leans down to press their chests together, he focuses on Liam's scent - different now, but similar enough to feel comfortable - and on the way that Liam's touch falters when Theo begins to move properly.

He lets out a softer, breathless laugh, tired enough and _feeling_ enough to let the brief flicker of genuine happiness escape as he kisses a promise against Liam's neck. He works his hips slow, gentle at first so Liam can get used to it, but it doesn't take long before Theo begins to thrust a little harder. Not enough to constitute fucking; he's still going slow. But he remembers how Liam had liked it, and as he pulls him closer and feels Liam's hard dick rub against his abdomen, Theo shudders and leans up, nibbling and sucking at Liam's earlobe.

"Love it when you call me that," Theo breathes, biting back a low moan. "This too hard? Don't want to hurt you. Not sure how long it's been for you."

* * *

God, it's so damn good and Liam feels shaken up and grounded at the same time. Somehow. He's not sure how he can feel two very different things at once, but he does. His life hasn't been _bad_ without Theo and his relationship with Hayden had started off good, but then kind of fizzled. He thinks that they've both just sort of settled with each other because they're comfortable. And there isn't necessarily anything wrong with that - relationships don't have to be big and exciting and someone's _everything_. Hayden has always been so focused and passionate about her work...

Liam knows that this is like a crazy high - just going for it, going for _Theo_ and turning his life upside down. Crazy highs don't usually last and things aren't gonna be easy or perfect for them, but Liam can't bring himself to care. He'd rather be fighting and struggling with Theo than not.

And Liam can see how _happy_ Theo is right now, there's an ease in Theo's eyes that's rare to see - or at least it used to be, but Liam imagines that that's remained the same. Theo's always been guarded, always been prepared for the worst and thinking ahead, but none of that is happening now.

Theo kisses along his neck, thrusts gaining in intensity. Liam lets himself moan out Theo's name, uncaring that his voice is higher and tighter with need and emotion. Liam clings onto Theo, maybe making the actual fucking more difficult in the process, but he can't stop.

"Love it that you love when I call you that," Liam jokes with a boyish smile on his face. "But love you more." He rocks his hips up, meeting Theo's thrusts as much as he can. "And you're not hurting me, don't worry."

* * *

God, but Theo had missed that. The sound of Liam's voice breaking open on a moan, sweet and real and perfect is enough to send a thrill through Theo's chest. He shudders, muttering a soft curse of approval, and as Liam's arms slide up and reaffirm their grip, Theo closes his eyes and all but buries himself in the moment. Liam's tightened grip does make it a little more difficult to move, but Theo isn't concerned. Feeling the desperate, accepting way that Liam clings to him is better than anything a little more mobility could have given them.

This isn't _just_ sex, after all. It's everything. It's Liam clutching Theo closer, it's the sweet sound of his voice raising in pleasure - a shade deeper now than it had been when they'd been in school - and it's the connection they're finding again. It feels like Liam just _fits_ against him, under him, and as Liam lifts his hips slightly and begins to meet each thrust, Theo presses hotter, open-mouthed kisses to Liam's neck, chasing the feeling.

The lighthearted joke is enough to make Theo laugh, breathlessly. He gives Liam a small squeeze, accepting, acknowledging, and when he picks up the pace just a little, Theo can feel the pleasure of it all the way down into his core. 

"I missed this," he admits, because despite their earlier bravado, despite the _years_ of separation, it feels safe enough to say it now. "Missed you."

Maybe it's not a big deal to Liam - at least, it's been so long, Theo's not expecting him to remember - but aside from his sister, Theo's never actually _missed_ anyone before. Not enough to admit to it. But feeling Liam cling to him, feeling the pleasure and intensity of how _well_ they still fit and move together, Theo can't help the confession. He fights the urge to leave marks on Liam's neck, and when he thrusts in again, feeling tight and heat all around his dick, it's harder and slower, just the way Liam had always liked it.

* * *

Over the months of dating Theo, Liam had gradually wormed his way closer and closer to him. At first Liam had been too scared to pry and ask anything personal and Theo didn't seem to care that other people talked about him. Liam hadn't really had any horrible secrets to tell, he'd been more or less an open book compared to Theo, but it hadn't been the same for Theo. It had taken time for Theo to open up and it had taken time for Liam to feel brave enough to ask and also that he was justified in wanting to know things. 

So when Theo says that he's been missed, Liam gets it. The only family Theo had ever been close to was his sister and she'd died. Liam's family had actually kinda become Theo's... Theo isn't normally sentimental. Liam's seen how cold Theo can actually be... But with _him_? Them together? Theo let himself get softer and warmer and Liam knows that it's the same now.

Liam repeats again and again that he loves Theo, murmuring and kissing at Theo's shoulder whenever he can. Theo continues to rock into him, each thrust harder and punctuated and almost pushing the breath out of him. They're getting hot and sweaty, two bodies moving with each other, but neither of them mind. It's perfect.

It doesn't last especially long, but it doesn't need to. Liam eventually begs Theo to come inside of him and that's all it takes. Theo speeds up until he's groaning and filling him. Theo gets a hand between them and that's all it takes - three jerks later and Liam is coming hotly, arching off the bed with a sharp gasp. It's the best sex he's had in years, but it's overshadowed by how good it feels just to be _with_ Theo. Being with Theo is the important part. 


	5. What you just said (Flashback)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lil cute flashback updatearoo...

* * *

_Ugh_... Liam can't believe what's just happened. He'd been the one - in the middle of a hot and heavy makeout session, down to just their boxers and on his bed - to pull away and ask Theo to fuck him. Sex. Penetrative gay sex. The thing that's been hanging over them for months now. Over and over Theo's told him that there's no need to rush, that Theo is more than satisfied to take it slower, and that he actually gets off on teaching Liam this stuff and being Liam's first guy to mess around with.

Tonight it was all him pushing and practically begging Theo to go ahead and do it. Theo had finally given in. Liam's been walked through it, both by Mason and Theo. He knows the steps. He's memorized the steps even. Despite this, despite Theo taking his time and being sweet and making sure he was fingered and stretched more than enough, Liam hadn't been able to take it.

So now he's bitched out and his head is buried into his pillow as he hugs it and tries to not die of embarrassment. It had taken them like, a long time to get to this point! And a long time of Theo preparing him. And now it's all wasted.

"I'm sorry we couldn't do it," Liam begins, talking into his pillow. "I still want to try at some point. I swear. I think about it, and I'm like, _yeah, I want him to fuck me_ , and I get off thinking about it, but like there was so much in my head and I couldn't get my stupid body to relax? Then I just… freaked out."

* * *

There's no denying that Liam's looked _way_ better than he does now, but that has nothing to do with his physical attractiveness and everything to do with the fact that he seems to be trying to become one with his pillow. 

The thing is, Theo honestly doesn't mind. Does he care? Yeah, a little bit, but not even close to enough for this to be any kind of deal breaker. 

The issue is that Liam very clearly does not share the same opinion. He's on his stomach, face buried in his pillow, arms hugging it close enough that Theo is half-concerned that he might be trying to suffocate himself, and even though Theo can't see his face, he knows that Liam is overthinking it. He's freaking out, and despite the fact that Theo had reassured him at the time, and insisted that it wasn't a big deal, he's still hiding. Just like he has been for the last two minutes.

Theo sighs and flops down onto his side beside Liam. Once again, Theo's hand reaches out, touching Liam's back, giving him a quick shake, but Liam's still hiding away. 

It hadn't been _bad_ is the thing. Sex is great. Theo loves sex. But Liam suddenly deciding he was ready and then trying to push himself? Theo had known halfway through that it had been a bad idea, but even though Liam's body had been too tense to let him in, he'd still enjoyed himself. Getting to touch Liam everywhere, getting to feel how hot he was inside, finding new places to make him squirm? _That_ had been good.

Liam just doesn't seem capable of letting go of the obvious. So Theo keeps trying, touching, stroking his hand over Liam's back, trying to gently coax him back. He says things like, "it's really okay, Liam," and "I really don't care," and "would you get your face out of the pillow, please?" But nothing really works.

When Liam talks, it's honestly a relief, except for one thing. Theo grimaces, hesitates, and then leans in, pressing a kiss to Liam's bare shoulder as he winds an arm around him. 

"Could you try that again? With your face _out_ of the pillow this time? I can't really hear you. But Liam, seriously. It's _fine_. You're making this a bigger thing than it is."

* * *

The worst part is that Theo's being so sweet and nice and what has Liam ever done to deserve this, to deserve Theo? Theo's so hot and could get or fuck anybody, and despite Theo working hard - both in school and after at work - Theo tries to spend as much time as possible with him and his family and even Mason, and Liam can't even _do this one thing_ that he actually wants?

What's wrong with him?

Probably a lot of things considering he's clinging to his damn pillow like a damn life preserver, naked and on his bed, and Theo's still trying to calm him down. He doesn't want to face Theo, but at least talking had kinda made him feel better. It's a start. Communication is important. It's something they're _both_ trying to work on, so that's what Liam is doing.

But apparently Theo hasn't even understood what he's said because of the pillow. Liam huffs into his pillow one more time before relaxing the clench on the floofy object after. Theo is spooning him and while it feels nice, Liam has the desire to crawl under his sheets if he can't be hiding in his pillow, but he doesn't. Okay. He can do this.

Liam tips his head back and away from the pillow. "I said... I said I'm sorry and I still wanna do it. You know, _try again_ because I want it. I get off thinking about you fucking me and it _did_ acually feel good... you using your fingers like that, but I got stuck in my head or something."

* * *

The moment that Liam begins to relax his hold on the pillow, Theo thinks they've made progress. It's a small thing, sure, but Liam _not_ hiding away is loads better than Liam absolutely hiding away. Hiding, Theo can't talk to him, but Liam beginning to connect again? Yeah, Theo can do something about it now. 

He lets Liam tell him, though. He doesn't rush, doesn't push, and when Liam finally eases himself away from the pillow that he'd hidden against minutes ago, Theo pointedly bites his tongue and waits for Liam to finally get the words out. 

When he does, it's about what Theo had been expecting. Liam apologizing is a little ridiculous, but the fact that Liam did enjoy himself and _does_ want to try again sometime means that Theo's main concerns are over and done with. But as he looks down at Liam and sees the deep flush of mortification on his cheeks (and isn't it telling that Theo can tell the difference between that and pleasure, now?) he makes his own decision. Then, slowly, moving slow enough for Liam to not feel trapped, Theo reaches over and drapes an arm around him.

He pulls Liam back against his chest, folding his arm in against Liam's chest to keep him there. Theo's nose presses to the nape of Liam's neck, his hair slightly damp with sweat, and once Liam is done, Theo kisses his nape and splays his hand possessively over Liam's chest. 

"I'm not _mad_ at you, Liam," Theo says, trying not to sound exasperated, even if he still kind of is. "And this doesn't mean I'm never going to touch you again, okay? So stop freaking out. It's cool. Lots of people get too caught up in everything, and relaxing is rough when you're going through something new. So just... chill out."

Theo's pretty sure the lube is somewhere under the blankets by now, and he can feel the uncomfortable plastic edge of the remaining condoms in the strip they'd tried to use, pressing against his foot. He doesn't pause to get them. Instead, he reaches down for the blankets and pulls them up over the both of them, just trying to get Liam to calm down. 

"If you're dead-set on it, then just... give me a week or two to build you up into it, okay? Jumping in was dumb."

* * *

Okay, logically Liam knows that this isn't the biggest thing in the world or even a disaster... It just feels like one because Liam's been trying to psych himself up for this for months now and then they'd spent like nearly an hour or something on all of the _other stuff_ required and it ended up not happening and now after the fact Liam's gone and acted like a baby.

_Is_ acting like a baby? Ugh. Liam still wants to go crawl under his blankets and sleep and then find out this is just a bad dream... But that isn't happening. Theo remains close and even shifts closer, an arm coming to wrap around him and Liam relaxes further. His embarrassment might involve Theo, but his body apparently is still finding comfort in cuddling or something. 

His ass still feels weird and wet, but then Theo pulls him back and _really_ holds him. It's the kind of cuddling that Liam used to get worried about because it makes Liam feel like _everything's_ gonna be all right which is stupid because Theo holding him tightly isn't some magical fix. Still, Liam closes his eyes and relaxes back against Theo. Liam nods as Theo reassures him, still a little resentful that he needs it at all, but he's totally not going to lose it and have an episode. 

" _You're_ dumb," Liam shoots back in a mutter after Theo claims that jumping in had been dumb. "But I love you."

The words come out. Just like that. No thought beforehand. But it's the first time Liam's ever said them to Theo.

* * *

As ridiculous as it is, Liam _could_ have an episode over this. Theo's never been one to judge him for it, even if sometimes Liam's little breaks from logic can be _really_ disruptive. He can admit that sometimes Liam's timing sucks, but at the same time, he knows that it's not Liam's fault. Kids at school sometimes walk around Liam like he's some bomb waiting to go off, and... yeah, Theo's not going to lie. The few times Liam's gone off on him? It's sucked. But he's strong enough to hold his own, and he hadn't taken it personally. One time had resulted in one hell of a shiner, and another, he'd just held Liam down against the floor until the wave had passed. It's not a big deal, but Theo doesn't want his embarrassment defaulting into that _now_.

He gets mental illness. IED isn't as well known, but Theo's definitely gone to bat for Liam a few times, snapping at idiots in the hallway who default it to 'anger issues'. Theo's been to court-mandated psych appointments. He gets it. 

But thankfully, Liam seems to be relaxing instead of pulling away. Theo's careful, toeing that line between reassuring and ambivalence, but when he feels Liam start to relax and settle against him, Theo smiles against Liam's nape. 

Liam's response is quick and childish, but it's almost cute. Theo snorts, and he's about to argue that he's _not_ dumb-- when Liam goes on, idle, and just says that he loves Theo, like it's no big deal.

This time it's Theo who freezes, his breath hitching slightly. He draws back enough to look down at Liam, suspicious, almost like he could have possibly said that as a _joke_. But... no, he doesn't look like he's trying to be a dick. He _looks_ like he has no idea what he'd said, and as Liam glances at him, Theo blinks down at him, still stunned.

"You... have no idea what you just said, do you?" He asks flatly. "Was that-- should I forget I heard that, or do you mean it?"

* * *

Liam is really glad he hadn't had an actual freak out over this. He can just imagine how that'd look - naked and lubed up and trying to attack Theo... He used to really worry about it, that Theo would see another one of his episodes and that'd it be too much or that Liam would go after him (which has already happened), but Theo's _still_ here. Theo's stuck around despite Liam having Intermittent Explosive Disorder and it's kind of amazing. He's definitely better than he has been, but it's still a work in progress.

It's only after Theo goes rigid before looking down at him that Liam realizes what he'd said. It's not as if he hadn't been _aware_ of it, but it hadn't felt like a big deal because it just came out so naturally, like _of course_ Liam loves Theo, why _wouldn't_ he? It makes sense.

But Liam actually turns to glance up at Theo and Theo doesn't look happy or okay with it which then causes Liam to have an internal panic party because what if Theo's _not_ okay with it, what then? Damage control. He's got this.

"I know what I said," Liam says quickly and he's scrambling to sit up because it feels like the kind of thing he should be upright for. "And I mean it... but if you're not okay with it I don't have to say it. It doesn't need to change anything." That seems important to say. Liam reaches out for Theo's hand and gives it a hopefully comforting squeeze.

* * *

Theo hardly wants to believe that he's heard correctly, because if he has, this is... a big deal. He's never had anyone say that to him before, not since Tara, and she'd died when he'd been nine. 

It's been nine years since then, and while Theo's had a few drunken friends leaning against him, whining about loving _everyone_ , this is different. Liam doesn't sound like he's joking. Liam sounds like he means it. 

Does Theo want him to, though? They haven't been dating for a long time. Months, not years, and despite how _good_ it's been to have Liam in his life, Theo's suspicious by nature. So he asks, cautiously wary, and when Liam seems to clue in, he tenses and then hastens to draw away. Theo's expecting him to dismiss it immediately, and already he's gearing up to erase the words from his memory-- but instead, Liam _affirms_ them.

He looks at Theo, nerves clear in the way he talks, and the way he can't quite seem to meet Theo's eyes. And it strikes Theo suddenly that Liam is telling the truth. He'd _meant_ it. He _means_ it, and as Liam takes his hand and squeezes it, Theo just looks up at him.

When he sits up as well, it's slower, purposeful. He doesn't look away from Liam, and when Theo reaches out and pulls him in closer, there's something hesitant and almost wistful in his touch.

"I never said I wasn't okay with it. I just... wanted to know _you_ were sure," he says, and leans in, kissing the corner of Liam's mouth. Theo swallows. "Me too. I love--... I love you too. I just didn't think you were serious."

* * *

Liam doesn't want to believe that these words - that his admission that he loves Theo - is going to somehow wreck anything, but technically it _could,_ right? Sometimes Liam thinks Theo falling into his life is like... it's been too good to be true. Even though it's not perfect - because nothing ever could be - it's so good and it feels so right, but will it last?

But Liam hopes that they lasts. Theo and him together is just... it's good. They're good together. And everyone thinks so - his parents, Mason and obviously Liam does... 

But Theo is complicated - more complicated than Liam is anyway, and Liam doesn't want to put pressure on Theo or make things weird because Theo hasn't had an easy life. Theo sits up and Liam doesn't look away or hide. He's said what he's said and he's not going to take it back - but he can at least offer Theo that he doesn't _need_ to say it again because he doesn't want to make Theo feel awkward or whatever. 

Theo pulls him in closer and when a quick but soft kiss is given to him, Liam _knows._ Liam knows that Theo loves him too. And then Theo _tells_ him and Liam's ecstatic and frightened at the same time. Because love is amazing but also terrifying because if you love someone, you can hurt them and they can hurt you...

"I'm serious about you," Liam says slowly. "I've... I've never felt this way about anyone else before, so you're stuck with me, okay?" He quirks a smaller but still heartfelt grin at Theo.

* * *

Liam had been serious. Liam loves him. In the more self-destructive part of Theo's mind, he reminds himself that Liam is still young. Younger than he is anyway, and maybe it's just an infatuation. Theo's heard of those reckless relationships where it's all whirlwind and passion and heavy and then it crashes and burns spectacularly. But this isn't just a decision that Liam has made at a few weeks. They're _months_ into this now, and while months doesn't mean forever, Theo's with Liam on this one.

They're good together. Liam _feels_ good to Theo. He's sweet and a little clueless and his heart is five times the size that Theo's will ever be, but he's real and genuine and stubborn. Theo appreciates him, appreciates everything, even when it's to his detriment. Liam's absolutely stubborn enough to give him a run for his money and their relationship isn't always easy, but Theo has this terrifying thought that he could actually _see_ himself with Liam for the long haul.

Which is ridiculous. They're way too young to think that way. 

But then Liam looks up at Theo, his eyes wider and hopeful, and he quirks his little lopsided grin at Theo. It's so damn _Liam_ and so damn heartfelt that Theo can't help the grin tugging at his own lips. And when he leans in again, this time the kiss he presses to Liam's lips is longer. 

Theo takes his time with this one. He cups Liam's cheek, strokes his thumb over his jaw, and works him up with slow, careful kisses. He doesn't stop until Liam's lips are flushed pink enough to last to the next morning, and only then does Theo draw back, a little breathless himself. 

"I can think of worse people to be stuck with," he says softly, tone teasing. Theo takes a moment to look Liam over, skin bare and rosy, the faintest bruises left behind from his kisses, and his expression softens a little. "You're the first for me, too. So... you're stuck with me too. All right?"

* * *

Yeah, Liam's young. Technically they're _both_ young, but Liam is younger - but doesn't mean that he doesn't know what love is. Because he does. Liam knows that he loves Theo Raeken. He loves _who_ Theo is: hard working, determined, confident and a bit of an asshole. Theo may come across as cold and detached at times, but Theo will always cuddle whenever Liam wants it.

Liam loves him because Theo actually likes coming over for family dinner and also watching movie marathons. Liam loves Theo for being patient, both in tutoring _and_ dating him. Liam loves that Theo isn't scared away by his inexperience _or_ his IED. Liam feels better about everything with Theo - not that he was miserable before - but it's better. His life is better. Not perfect, but just way better.

And as young as he may be, Liam can see himself being with Theo forever. Doing the whole, move out together, get engaged, get married... Which is kinda weird because getting married had never been really important to Liam but... If it was with Theo? Liam would do it.

Liam hasn't thought hard and long about whether or not he loves Theo. He just does. It's come out and Theo loves him too and it's good. He can't wait to tell Mason!

They kiss and Liam melts, all his concerns about not going through with getting fucked slip away. It's just Theo and him, Theo's lips moving slowly but with purpose, and Theo touching along his face, turning him on, yeah, but also making Liam feel loved. When Theo pulls away and speaks, Liam feels settled. 

"We're stuck with each other," Liam confirms and he promptly falls to his side, his hands pulling at Theo to join him. They might not be having sex (yet), but there's other things that they can do. 

**~*~**

Theo knows that he shouldn't have rushed it the first time. 'Rushed' might be relative, because he'd taken a good hour trying to get Liam ready for sex, and he _had_ , but when it comes down to it, Theo knows that he could have done better. He _should_ have done better. You don't just suddenly decide to have sex with a guy out of nowhere and jump into the deep end. Theo sure as hell hadn't done that himself, and he's not going to make Liam do it either. So, the next time he and Liam get together after the failed night of sex, Theo gets to work.

It's actually _not_ a burden, is the thing. With anyone else, Theo thinks it might have been, but Liam is... different. Liam is sweet and stubborn and a complete nerd. He's heartfelt and excitable and a little slow on the uptake sometimes, but he more than makes up for it.

Plus, Liam loves him. Genuinely loves him. Theo's still trying to let that one sink in. Especially because, despite all odds, and despite Theo's broken home life and struggle in the system, he loves Liam too.

So he's going to do this right. He's going to make Liam feel _good_ , going to build him up into it. So he does.

Theo makes a point to keep their next few dates as relaxing as possible. He keeps them easygoing, a little teasing, and he lays on the charm and touching to the best of his abilities. He pulls back, focuses more on kissing, on letting Liam sink into it. And when Liam _does_ get more interested, Theo keeps it slower and begins to work.

He starts with fingers, the way he did before, but this time, it's not to build Liam up into sex _that_ night. Instead, when Liam shakes apart against him, it's just to Theo's fingers and his kisses. 

Theo doesn't rush it. He takes his time, getting Liam used to the idea of just _relaxing_ into it. Their dates continue, Theo keeps working, and slowly, bit by bit, Liam begins to relax. He begins to anticipate, to expect, and he starts to look forward to it. But the day that Liam stops Theo in the hall of the high school and _asks_ for it? That's when Theo knows he's ready.

And the night it _finally_ happens is perfect. Theo waits until Liam's parents are out of town for the weekend and he swiftly invites himself over and takes over. He cooks, he spends the majority of the evening with Liam, watching dumb tv and sharing kisses on the sofa. He works Liam up slowly, and when Liam is finally squirming and inquisitive, Theo takes him upstairs.

But he doesn't rush into it. He doesn't push the way _most_ of his peers would have. Instead, Theo somewhat awkwardly pulls out a bottle of oil and offers to give Liam a massage. It's met with a somewhat-incredulous stare, and Liam chuckles awkwardly. They bat around for awhile, Liam not sure if he's _really_ serious and Theo insisting that he _really_ is. And it's just... it's good.

Theo gets to physically feel Liam's muscles relax. He gets to watch the tension drain out of him, gets to see that half-blissed-out expression on his face as Theo works Liam up. It's slow and careful, and when Liam finally turns over and kisses him, it's amazing how simple it is from there.

Liam had stressed and over-thought himself into a frenzy the last time they'd tried this, but _this_ time is different. This time he's relaxed and welcome and open, and he clutches Theo's shoulders and arches and it's fucking _perfect_. 

Later, after the rush has dimmed, with both of them trying to catch their breaths, Theo gathers Liam back against his chest. Liam makes a small sound and grumbles about feeling 'sticky', but Theo just buries his nose in against Liam's hair and breathes him in. He winds his arms around Liam's body, fingertips stroking at Liam's chest, and as Theo twines their legs together and lets out a shuddering breath, he closes his eyes and presses a kiss to the back of Liam's neck.

"Told you you could do it," he says, breathless, a little teasing. "Just had to get out of your own head."


	6. Indulgent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, we're back, and this story is coming to a close soon - at least one more chapter that we're currently working on - but maybe more or a sequel after. For now, enjoy some feelsy morning smut.

* * *

Theo promises that things will be okay, and Liam believes him. They're in this together, for better or for worse. There's still concerns floating around in his mind, but as they settle to go to sleep, the worries have less and less of a hold on him. Liam lets himself enjoy just _being_ _with_ Theo again, acknowledging how amazing all of it is. Theo's touch, voice, words, body, smell. It's a sensory feast for Liam and he's been starving for years. 

Liam may sleep more on his own than not, but he doesn't get weirded out by the presence of a body so close to him. Because there is very little space between them and Theo seems intent on holding him. Cuddling. Yup. Theo was pretty tactile back then, and it's no different now. So Liam lets himself relax - he can't really stop it - because his body seems to recognize that _yep_ , we feel safe and approve of this cuddling.

One minute they're whispering back and forth about random shit, and then the next Liam is out like a light. Dreamless sleep blankets him. When morning comes, he's sleepily blinking his eyes open. Then last night rushes back into him.

But it's not anxiety that hits Liam. It can't, because Theo's arm is draped over him and Liam turns his head slowly and sees Theo next to him. He sees Theo's calm, sleepy face bathed in the morning light streaming in through the windows and Liam _stares_. 

Because Theo is beautiful. Then Theo opens his eyes and Liam smiles. "Morning."

* * *

Theo's usually one of the first ones up and in the office every morning - a habit from his college days, and subsequent time at law school. He'd made a point to always get up early to make it to morning classes, and these days, he likes to get in a quick run or a workout before he heads into the office. 

But, Theo doesn't wake up early that morning. After everything last night, he sleeps straight through when he usually wakes up. He doesn't need to make it to work because he'd chosen to work from home so it's not a huge deal, but it does mean that when he begins to shake off the vestiges of sleep that morning, Theo feels odd. His mind feels slower, groggier, but there's no explaining how content he feels as wakefulness slowly comes back to him.

When he finally opens his eyes, it takes him a few moments to _really_ piece together what he's seeing, but any confusion that he'd had immediately washes away when he sees the smile on Liam's lips.

_Liam_. In his bed. The memories from last night rush back in and Theo lets out a low, pleased hum of contentment. Before he's given himself permission to do it, his fingers slide back through Liam's mussed hair, stroking and pulling him in closer. Theo presses a kiss to Liam's forehead, because if Liam is still here, that _means_ something. 

"G'morning," Theo says warmly, his voice rough with sleep. "How long've you been up?"

* * *

It's been years since Liam's woken up next to Theo, but god, it's so damn nice. There's something about the tired, morning face of Theo that's just the best because Theo is more relaxed. Unguarded. Because even when they were together, Theo still had a hard time being open with him. But like this, Theo's just Theo, relaxed and even sweet as he smiles back, touches his hair and gives him a kiss on the forehead. 

Maybe the forehead kiss is a little paternal, but Theo's always had these little blips where he gets sweet and Liam not so secretly loves it. Liam's smile brightens, his head leaning into the touch. He could definitely get used to this.

"About thirty seconds," Liam answers, voice also rough from sleep. He clears his throat before continuing. "Enough time for me to remember--" 

Liam then stops himself, mouth closing and lips pursing to the side. Should he say this? 

"Enough for me to remember that I like how soft you look in the mornings." His cheeks color a little from the admission, pulse picking up, but he doesn't take it back. Instead, he slides closer and buries his face against the crook of Theo's neck. 

* * *

Theo feels a little slow even with the memories rushing back in, but it isn't a bad feeling. This close, Theo can see Liam the way he's wanted to for years. Even if his eyes still feel a little blurry, and even if he's not fully awake yet, he can still make out the blue of Liam's eyes and the way his hair falls softly over his forehead. Theo considers brushing it back, but he's warm and comfortable, and Liam is _there_. He's loath to break the moment.

Especially when Liam answers him, his voice just as rough and somehow both hot and sweet at the same time. Theo wishes he could take a picture, wishes he could just... capture this moment somehow, could replay it in his mind just as vividly as this. But then Liam adds on that Theo looks _soft_ , and while Theo blinks his surprise, the sight of Liam flushing and then easing in closer to curl up against him stops anything indignant from blooming in his chest.

"Suppose I'll give you that," Theo says, and as Liam curls up against him, Theo slowly stretches and then reaches his free arm out, wrapping it around Liam and pulling him in close with a softer groan. 

"Missed this. You looking so sweet. You just... _being_ here," he admits quietly, because in this sleep-covered moment, it feels like he can admit that.

* * *

It's a little weird to be thinking let alone talking about this kind of stuff with Theo, but fuck it. It's been years and they're doing this. Liam isn't running anymore. He's locked in and he wants this - all of it. The good, the bad, the awkward, the embarrassing. Okay, they haven't really had any _bad_ yet, but something is bound to happen at some point and when it does, Liam's gonna try and tell himself that bad with Theo is still better than no Theo at all. 

He wonders if this new Theo has possibly mellowed out more because Theo doesn't really push back on the _soft_ comment. Then again, maybe Theo saying that _he_ looks so sweet is payback, Liam doesn't know. But it doesn't matter because Theo's got him closer and it's nice - despite the slight ache inside his ass and the fact that his skin feels crusty-dirty from last night's activities. 

"Don't feel so sweet," Liam mutters playfully. "Not with our dried come on me." But Liam doesn't make any effort to really move away. He wiggles closer and closer means his body realizes that they're both naked and naked is great. And because naked is great, kissing seems like a great idea too, so Liam starts kissing at Theo's neck.

* * *

There's a small part of Theo that wants to protest the whole 'soft' thing, but when it comes down to it, that's... kind of how he feels. Not in a sexual way, because Liam in his arms has always drawn very specific reactions from him, but in an emotional way. He's still tired, still waking up, but even with his defenses lowered, Theo knows he'd never thought he'd wake up to this again. Ever. So maybe being 'soft' isn't that bad when it means that Liam smiles up at him like he does, or wiggles closer.

Still, Liam's little reminder that he doesn't _feel_ as sweet does draw Theo a little closer to reality. As... yeah, okay, that _is_ true. They hadn't showered last night and they should probably do that, but Theo doesn't really want to draw back right now. Especially not when he feels soft lips and rough stubble drag along his throat. And that... _that_ is kind of new. Liam's stubble had still been soft and sparse before, but he's older now, and Theo immediately knows he's into it. He hums low in his throat, tipping his head back to make more room.

"You know... we _could_ fix that. Shower's just through the door over there," he murmurs, lazily satisfied. The soft, pointed attention on his throat has his cock beginning to take an interest, but it's the fact that _Liam_ is the one to start kissing him _first_ that really does it for Theo. 

"Not that I'm complaining if you want to stay here for a bit. Gotta say... I'm kinda into you all hot and dirty from last night. S'a good look on you."

* * *

It's not that Liam doesn't want to talk or be soft or sweet to Theo - because he does - it's the fact that it's the morning and Liam's usually doing the morning wood thing anyway, but now he's here with Theo and they're both naked. It's a thing. It's a big deal. He can't ignore it. Despite being dirty with a mix of dried sweat and come on him, Liam can't help but reach out and touch Theo. 

And Theo just welcomes and encourages him, head tipping back, allowing Liam to kiss even more of Theo's neck. Theo is warm and firm next to him, and while the idea of a shower does appeal, Liam doesn't want to move away - not yet. 

"Hot 'n dirty, huh?" Liam echoes back, pleased. 

It feels really good to be complimented by Theo. With a deliberate squirm, Liam crawls on top of Theo, his dick pressing into Theo's hip. He's not worried about being too heavy, Liam knows Theo can handle his bulk. He kisses at Theo's collarbones and when he stops, Liam can't help but grin at Theo. 

"You like that _you're_ the onewho made me dirty." Liam does too. 

* * *

It's been a long time since Theo actually _enjoyed_ waking up with someone. Normally, it's awkward. He doesn't really _do_ anything overnight, sneaking out beforehand if he's at their place, or sending them home if it's his, but those few nights where they'd just passed out, the mornings had always been awkward. It had been a lot of Theo feeling uncomfortable and rejecting advances, and finally just kicking the person out. He hadn't won any friends, but at least it hadn't gone too far.

But this? _This_ is different. _This_ is Liam kissing at his throat, his stubble delightfully rough and his lips warm and welcome. This is Liam teasing him; even without looking, Theo can hear the smile in his voice. And when Liam begins to wiggle against him - enough that Theo draws back slightly - this is Liam crawling up on top of him, a welcome, warm, solid weight that has Theo shivering. 

He feels the press of Liam's dick against his hip and his own cock hardens at the proximity, but Theo doesn't rush anything as Liam kisses at his throat and makes his way down slowly to his clavicle. It's been _years_ since anyone's taken an interest like this, and so maybe Theo can't help but smile, comfortably relaxed and tired. And when Liam grins down at him? Theo's smile only widens and he chuckles, reaching up and sliding his hands down to give Liam's ass a pointed squeeze. 

"Guilty," Theo says, sounding _very_ pleased with himself. He can feel the traces of old lube and come on Liam's skin, but it only makes Theo feel a little hotter. 

"But you did _let_ me, so it's a combined effort. Still can't believe you let me do this without a condom." Theo's fingers slide back, and while he _is_ careful, he strokes one of them down, close to Liam's hole. He doesn't touch, because Liam's probably sore, but he likes that he can feel the heat. He likes the intimacy. 

* * *

Could this be every morning? Waking up with Theo like this? Kissing him, laying on him, teasing him, seeing his sleep-messy hair? Liam remembers doing these very things back in high school, when Theo had stayed over (which happened more often than not as their relationship progressed). It's cheesy to think about, but it beats worrying about all the _other_ stuff that's going to have to happen. Hayden. His parents. Mason. This may be a big thing, but it feels like the right thing. _Theo_ feels right. 

It feels right to lay on him, to kiss and tease him, to feel Theo's body respond to him and what he's doing, like Theo can't help it (because Liam knows he definitely can't). He's seen enough of Theo's more smirk-y asshole smiles to know what a real one is, and the one that Theo's wearing now _is_ real. And it feels good to know that he remembers the differences. Liam wears his own dopey smile, enjoying the idea of last night being a _combined_ _effort._

But then Theo's fingers lightly skim back - almost touching his hole - and Liam curses at the heat that licks through him. He's already thinking of how much he wants Theo to fuck him bareback again. Liam tucks his face down against Theo's neck, biting and sucking a mark roughly there as he rocks against Theo just to work of some energy. 

"Shower," is what Liam gasps out after. "We can make a mess in there."

* * *

Theo feels warm. There's a warmth in his chest, in his muscles, and down between his legs as Liam's lazy touches and kisses work him up into a slow arousal. He feels _good_ , and it strikes Theo then that it's been too long. It's been so damn long since he'd woken up and _wanted_ to laze around in bed because the notion of leaving had been unthinkable. It's been too long since he'd shared his bed with someone, let alone someone he _loves_. And as Theo's fingers slide back and skim over Liam's hole, he thinks about waking up to this every day.

The touch must do something, though. One moment, Theo's exploring, indulging, and the next Liam suddenly curses and leans in. Liam's teeth close down against his neck and Theo gasps softly as Liam sucks a mark onto his skin. It's quick and messy, and Theo can feel it. He knows without needing to look that it'll bruise and the thought does nothing but make Theo feel warmer. He groans softly in the back of his throat, even lifts his hips just a bit, but as much as he'd love to stay here and bask in the warmth of the morning, the thought of sharing a shower is even better.

"Fuck, Liam," Theo groans. "All right. C'mon, budge up," he directs, and when Liam lets him up, Theo sits up and stretches out slowly. Then, with a small smile, he offers Liam a hand and helps him out of bed. He even walks slow as he leads the way to the bathroom, mindful that Liam's probably sore, but when Theo steps inside, he goes to the walk-in shower and immediately turns it on. 

"Almost warm enough. C'mon over when you're ready."

* * *

Maybe he should have left that hickey lower where it could be hidden by a collar, but Liam wasn't being practical. He'd wanted to taste Theo and leave a mark and now looking down at his creation? Liam likes how it looks, a blend of reds and purples that he's made, that he's given to Theo. Not that they ever got too crazy with hickies and bruises, but Liam wants more, he wants to be able to see and feel Theo all over his body.

Like he can feel the soreness of last night in his ass, a small lingering discomfort that's a reminder of what they did, and he loves it. Theo leads them to the en suite bathroom. As Theo gets the shower going, Liam adjusts to the bathroom lights with a few bleary blinks. He's more of a morning person now than while in high school, but that's out of necessity - job requirements and all. A naked Theo is also a great way to wake up, and Liam is grinning as he makes his way over into the shower.

Underneath the spray of the hot water, Liam relaxes as he tips his head back, letting his roosters meet their match. He sighs, muscles relaxing under the coaxing heat. Once he's properly drenched, he steps to the side to urge Theo to get more under the spray. As Theo does, Liam is stepping in closer and letting both of his palms run down Theo's chest and over his abs. His cock is poking at Theo's hip, but Liam isn't concerned. It's been a while since they've been upright and wet and Liam lets himself blatantly check out Theo. 

"God, you're hot," Liam can't help but mumble as his hands continue to caress.

* * *

There's a specific pleasure that comes from watching Liam step under the shower spray. Like this, in the light of the morning reflecting off of the shower tiles and the brightness of the bathroom, Theo can drink in how fucking _good_ Liam looks. Last night Theo had taken in his fill as much as he could, but seeing Liam naked in the light? He's not sure he'll ever get sick of that, and as Liam tilts his head back under the spray to wet his hair down, Theo drinks in his fill.

Liam's shoulders are much broader than they had been before, and he's bulked up a little all over. Liam hadn't been frail or gangly _before_ , but the muscle definition that Theo can see now is impressive. He knows that some of it is a result of Liam's job. He's pretty sure that the strength in Liam's back and the power in his shoulders and arms is mostly from hammering and sawing and heavy lifting. But there's more of it than that; Liam clearly works out, and it's perfect. He'd been attracted enough to Liam in the dark, but seeing how good he looks now? Theo's not shy as he checks Liam out.

But when Liam beckons him over and Theo steps in close to wet his hair down as well, he's not really expecting Liam's hands to touch his chest. Theo doesn't draw away. He enjoys the attention, humming low in the back of his throat. He feels the press of Liam's dick against his hip but he doesn't rush to attend to it. Instead, he lets out a low breath of contentment as Liam touches him, and when Liam compliments him, Theo isn't humble enough to bite back a grin.

"Funny. I was just thinking the same thing about you. Construction's been good to you. Pretty sure it's taking conscious effort at this point to not just feel your arms up. But by all means," Theo chuckles, tilting his head back under the spray. "Keep touching."

* * *

Maybe showers together aren't the most practical, but there's something really nice about sharing one right now with Theo. There's the fact that they're both naked and relaxed from sleep, the opinion that they both happen to look damn good while wet, and the whole familiarity of doing something personal like cleaning yourself in front of another person. Liam didn't think he could actually miss something like this, but he does. He's missed showers with Theo, yeah, the dirty and sexual ones, but also the quick and practical ones where they were in a rush.

Today they're not in a rush and Liam's awake and able to see all of Theo - all of a _naked_ Theo - and it's really great. Liam's also not the only one either, he's noticed Theo's eyes checking him out. It's kinda weird to have Theo be really familiar to him yet still new, or at least new aspects. Liam appreciates both the old and the new.

Theo lets him freely touch, wet skin warm underneath Liam's eager hands. He smiles at Theo's response, pleased that Theo's also calling attention to how he's also changed and buffed up over the years. Liam takes up the invitation, his palms smoothing up Theo's sides before traveling around to his back. It's pretty much a hug at this point but Liam doesn't care. He presses in closer, head tucking in to kiss from Theo's neck down to his shoulder. 

Liam's hands continue to feel up along Theo's back. "I could get used to this," he teases in a murmur. Trembling, Liam's fingers curl and then he's digging his fingernails into Theo's shoulder blades. "I love you, babe." Liam thinks he should also start saying this a lot more. No time like the present to start.

* * *

Theo means it. Liam really _has_ filled out in the best way possible, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't want Liam to touch him back. As ridiculous as it probably seems, there's something about the touch of Liam's hands - the warmth of his body, and the way that Liam just so easily steps in closer and winds his arms around Theo that sends a frisson of pleasure through him. It's not the same physical pleasure as last night, though. It's different. It's indulgent.

Theo closes his eyes as Liam's hands slide up his back, trailing along wet skin. And when Liam's lips come to his throat, he sighs, reaching out and lazily winding his arms around Liam in return. The bite of nails into his shoulder blades _is_ a bit of a distraction, but the sudden spark of pain has Theo shivering. And just like that, his own grip tightens. He feels the scratch along his skin and Theo let out a softer breath.

Without a sound, he pulls Liam in closer. Liam's posture had been a half-hug, but Theo makes no mistake about it. He pulls Liam in close, pressing his nose to Liam's hair to breathe him in, and he _drinks_ in the closeness, rolling his shoulders into the dig of Liam's nails.

"I love you too," Theo says, and there's no doubt that he means it. There's conviction in his voice whether he wants it there or not. "Can you stay here until tonight, or do you need to get ready after this?"

* * *

As hot as Theo is, it's not Theo's looks that matter here. Looks are the cherry on the top - Liam likes it, appreciates that Theo's aged well and taken care of himself, but it's the stuff inside the cherry. Everything _inside_ of Theo matters more. What's important to Liam is how understanding Theo's being about this entire crazy situation. What matters is that Theo still wants to make a go of it - to try and jump in head first - and that Theo loves him. 

The last part is the most important. Love doesn't guarantee anything - they'd loved each other in high school after all - but it definitely helps with the hard work aspect. It's a start. Their second start. And maybe he's gone about it the wrong way (with the cheating) but all Liam can do is take care of it as soon as possible and move on. 

God, it's still totally insane that this is happening at all. For so long things had just been okay and stable. Nothing great, nothing bad, just all right. That's about to change - is _already_ changing. 

Theo pulls him into a tighter hug and under the spray, planes of wet skin touching, Liam lets himself enjoy everything - Theo responding to this touch, Theo saying the love-thing back, Theo just being honest and open with him without Liam having to push for it. The practical question - bringing up the impending Hayden conversation - doesn't even bother Liam (at least not much). It's coming and there's nothing either of them can do about it 

"I can stay," Liam answers. He figures Theo can let him borrow a pair of boxers and clean socks. Then Liam is pulling back to look at Theo, cheeks flushed with arousal.

"Jerk off with me," Liam says lowly. It's something that they used to do before - watch each other greedily, sometimes give in and kiss, but it was always weirdly hot and connected, and Liam wants to do it again.

* * *

Regardless of the way that Liam answers, Theo will honor it. Oh, he _wants_ to keep Liam here, wants to sit him down and do whatever he can think of. Maybe it's being over-tired, or maybe it's the fact that he'd had sex last night with the man he loves, but Theo's feeling sentimental this morning. 

It's something he'll make a point to hide before he has to talk to any of his colleagues once Monday rolls around. But right now, under the shower, feeling Liam's body pressed against his and Liam's nails biting marks into his skin? Theo can't think of anywhere else he wants to be.

He wants to cook Liam breakfast, wants to talk to him for real. He wants to drag him down on the sofa and watch a movie, and he wants to kiss him so breathless that his lips will be pink and swollen by the time Liam needs to talk to Hayden--

But Theo sets those thoughts aside. He'll do whatever Liam wants. And so, when he waits, he makes a point to lean back enough to look down at Liam, something fond almost perpetually locked in his eyes. And when Liam says _yes_ , when he says that he _does_ want to stay, Theo can't help the immediate smile that tugs at his lips. He nods, and he's all set to do something practical, like reach for the soap or the shampoo-- when Liam's request catches him short.

Theo's already comfortably aroused, the proximity and contact enough to make him lazily interested, but all it takes is that suggestion for a wave of arousal to wash through him. He looks down at Liam - hair wet, cheeks flushed, his lips looking so damn kissable - and Theo nods, his smile pulling into a small grin. 

"Yeah, I think I can do that," he says lowly, teasing a little as he slides his hand down between them. But instead of reaching out for Liam's dick, Theo wraps a hand around himself, stroking lazily as he hardens in his hand. Granted, that might have something to do with the fact that his _other_ hand slides down to give Liam's ass a small, appreciative squeeze. 

"C'mon. You too. Let me see you."

* * *

Liam would rather stay here. It's not that he thinks he'll go home, be on his own, and then maybe change his mind. Even if Theo and him didn't get back together, Liam would need to at least man up and come clean. It's obvious that he's not been really happy with Hayden and that things have been just kinda hanging on... Not that that excuses Liam's shitty behavior, but he shouldn't just stay in a relationship because it's what he's grown used to. He knows that now. He'll take care of it. And it'll suck, but he's gotta do it.

What Liam's suggested isn't something that's been on his mind a lot - it's not exactly the hottest activity ever - but it pops inside his head and suddenly it's all Liam wants. Theo naked and wet and touching his dick while Liam does the same thing? Both watching each other? It is hot. And it's intimate. And it's also a tease. All good things.

With obvious interest, Liam watches as Theo's hand slides down between them and strong fingers wrap around Theo's half-hard cock. Sometimes they 'hands off' it and don't touch each other at all, but not today. Liam thinks nothing of Theo's other hand touching his ass - it's exactly what he wants. He only realizes he's not participating when Theo calls him out on it. 

Liam grins a bit sheepishly, but he's quick to grip his own dick and start stroking slowly. It's nothing he hasn't done a thousand times before, but with Theo so close, watching and doing the same thing? It's different and better. 

" _Fuck_ , you look so hot right now," Liam sighs. "Think if you stuck one finger in me I'd nut in like fifteen seconds."

* * *

Theo drinks in the sight of Liam standing in front of him, greedy for the sight. It feels like it's been forever since he'd last seen him like this. In a way, it has been, but feeling the water washing warm over the both of them and seeing how damn hot Liam looks standing there? Theo wets his lips as he jerks himself off slow. The urge to go quicker _is_ there, but he tempers it when he sees the way that Liam's looking at him. There's appreciation and hunger there and _fuck_ if Theo doesn't like it. 

His little reminder is enough to jump-start Liam's response and Theo chuckles breathlessly as he's treated to the sight of Liam reaching down and touching himself. On paper, this wouldn't be hot, but Theo's always been a fan of being hedonistic. 

He'd always liked seeing the hunger in Liam's eyes. He'd always liked the want there, and he knows that Liam had liked seeing Theo for the same reason. So, yeah. To them? It's always been hot. Seeing Liam jerk himself off has heat settling low in Theo's stomach.

A heat that spikes at Liam's little addition. Theo draws in a sharper breath and lets it out on a curse. 

"Fuck, you saying it that way shouldn't be hot," he says, half-complaint, half-admiration. 

He gives Liam's ass another squeeze and - because he can't really resist the tease - he slides his fingers down just enough to pet over Liam's hole. He's still probably sensitive and sore, but Theo likes the feeling of that soft skin, and the memory of how it had felt to be inside of Liam. Theo jerks himself just a little quicker.

"You always did like my fingers, didn't you? I loved it when you let me fuck you with them. You were always so hot."

* * *

Not that coming easily or quickly is usually a celebrated thing, but Theo had never teased him about it and it's not _all_ the time either. Sometimes Liam's just more worked up and really into something and it's not his fault Theo just does it for him. Given that it's been years since they've done this, Liam's pretty sure it makes sense. The only reason why he didn't come all over himself last night was because he'd been so high on emotions and honestly shocked.

Now things are beginning to really sink in. He's here with Theo. Liam's making a choice - made a choice. He's turning everything upside down and it's crazy, but somehow not? It's the right thing to do, and Liam knows it in his very bones. 

So Liam doesn't care that he's 'being easy' or whatever. In the shower and relaxed from sleep, why should he worry about trying to hold off? He knows that Theo likes it anyway. Instead of being embarrassed at what he's said, Liam just owns it. 

Theo's pleased reaction is more than enough to make Liam want to continue being upfront and maybe a bit dirty. Liam's legs spread a little as he feels Theo's fingers skim down through his crack and brush over his hole. Heat flashes through him, and Liam groans as he bites on his bottom lip. 

He's still a little sore, but it's sensitive and arousing still, especially from what Theo says. Liam's hand doesn't ease up on his own dick, his eyes flicking between Theo's face and Theo jerking himself. 

"Fuck, I've missed this and missed you," Liam rushes. And it's Liam that gives in, stepping closer and abandoning his own dick in favor of reaching out and pulling Theo's hand away. 

"Gotta touch you, babe," Liam says in way of an explanation. He's wrapping his own fingers around Theo's hard cock, taking in the velvety heat for a second before his grip is tightening and he begins stroking Theo off in a fast pace, intention clear. 

"Want you to come all over me," Liam adds on, shifting closer, so that when Theo does, it'll shoot over Liam's chest and stomach.

* * *

Theo doesn't care about lasting. He knows that they're not teenagers anymore, and so going the way they did all that time ago might not be the case anymore, but hell, it's possible. Theo hasn't lost the ability to get it up again and he's older than Liam, so it doesn't register as a problem down the road. Besides, as Theo drinks in the sight of Liam's face, he reminds himself somewhat fiercely that there's more to sex than orgasm. Being able to touch Liam again, to kiss him, to explore him, to hold him? That means more than anything.

So, when Liam's expression suddenly eases into something a little more desperate and Theo feels the flex of muscle against his finger, he's not surprised when Liam suddenly steps in closer. Theo watches openly as Liam reaches out and pulls his hand away. Theo shivers and obediently moves his hand back enough so that Liam can take over. And _fuck_ if the sudden touch of Liam's fingers wrapping around his dick and stroking with purpose doesn't get him groaning.

He's expecting Liam to take his time, to draw it out a bit, but when he feels how quickly Liam starts to stroke him, Theo gets it. The verbal confirmation only makes heat settle lower in Theo's stomach, and the very _thought_ is enough to make Theo want to yank Liam into a kiss and return the favor. He compromises instead, rubbing at Liam's hole as his other hand lifts enough to slowly thread his fingers into Liam's wet hair. Theo pulls him closer, leaning in to brush open-mouthed kisses over Liam's jaw.

"God, you feel good," Theo says, voice tight as he gives into the feeling. 

Normally, he'd try to hold back, but that isn't the point here. He shudders as Liam's strokes quicken, and the feeling of Liam easing closer so Theo can come on him is so fucking perfect. Theo bites the inside of his cheek, hips twitching into Liam's touch as Liam takes him apart. 

The sensation builds quickly, heat rushing through him, and all it takes is Theo turning his head enough to brush a kiss over Liam's lips before he gasps a soft warning and yanks Liam in closer.

Theo comes with a cursed groan, hips jerking as Liam strokes him through it. He looks down, watching his come paint Liam's chest and his hand. Before he's even finished, as pleasure still burns hot and lazily through him, Theo reaches down and sets his hand over the one Liam has on his own cock. And, without waiting for permission, Theo begins to guide Liam into jerking off just as quick. 

"C'mon, Liam," Theo coaxes, voice rough with pleasure. "You too. Lemme see you come for me; lemme feel it."

* * *

Sure Liam's done this before. He's touched Theo's dick, sucked it, teased it, been fucked by it. He's kissed Theo's mouth, sucked hickies lower on his throat. He's also clasped hands and fallen asleep spooned by Theo. 

But it's been years since he was readily indulging in those things. So these aren't _firsts_ for them, but like... re-discovering and re-experiencing favorite things. And Liam wishes it was practical to just lock them in a room and go at it, that the world could be put on pause - no work, no family, no friends, no other responsibilities - just them indulging and catching up. But that shit isn't practical. That's not real life. 

So he'll take whatever he can get. And Liam's so glad he'll have the chance to have Theo back and get to do all of these again. And again. And again.

Right now Liam focuses on jerking Theo off quickly. Theo's dick is hot and hard and yeah, it had fucked him last night. Good thoughts. With a strong grip, Liam works Theo's cock hungrily and with driven intention. Theo's finger continues to tease along his hole, sparks of sensitivity adding another layer to his own arousal, but he doesn't allow himself to get distracted. 

He wants Theo to come and Liam's not stopping until he gets it. 

Every little sound or muscle twitch encourages Liam and he can tell that Theo's not holding back or trying to restrain himself. What would be the point? It's not what either of them want right now. 

Liam's effort pays off and Theo does give him what he wants. Blinking away the water, he first feels Theo's dick pulse before Theo's coming and unloading on him. The splatters of come won't last - already the rivulets of water begin to wash away the evidence, but it doesn't matter. Liam can hear Theo's hurried breathing, he can see the pleasure and relaxation beginning to work itself through Theo's body, and Liam loves the sight.

He also loves when Theo decides to relocate his hand. With Theo's over his own, Liam's hand is placed on his own straining cock. 

He complies immediately, a muttered "fuck" following as Liam pumps his first over his dick. Theo's hand stays on his own and Liam is leaning in to messily kiss at Theo's face. 

"God, I love--" he begins between a kiss. "--you." Liam's hips jerk into the touch, his toes curling at the approaching rush. This feels like the best morning ever. "Gonna come for you," Liam grits out and he does, pressing in close, the tip of his cock messily rubbing against Theo's hip as he spurts. 

* * *

Theo's lungs feel tight in his chest as he comes, but it's an amazing feeling. There's something so damn satisfying about not trying to hold back for someone else. It's been too long since he's let himself be this indulgent, but with Liam encouraging him and stroking him through it, Theo feels the pleasure all the way down to his toes. Maybe he hasn't managed to catch his breath yet, but Theo doesn't need to. He swears he could focus on making Liam feel good anywhere, under any circumstance.

Besides, given the hunger in Liam's eyes when he feels Theo's come spill hot over his skin, he knows that Liam won't take long to follow him. Suddenly rapt and focused, Theo pushes for it. He keeps his hold on Liam's dick tight and directs him in jerking off, turning to accept Liam's kisses whenever possible. Bit by bit, second by second, he can see Liam getting closer and Theo pushes for it. 

He strokes tighter, strokes faster, ducks his head enough to press hot, open-mouthed kisses over Liam's jaw, his neck, all the way down to his shoulder. Theo groans his encouragement, and he drinks in the soft, gasped-out adoration like it's the last time he'll hear it.

Theo feels the moment that Liam's grip begins to falter, feels the half-jerked movements of his hips, and he takes over just like that. He watches, his eyes dark with arousal and satisfaction, and he gives his wrist a quick twist. Just like that, Liam's gasping and jerking and coming, and Theo watches greedily as Liam comes all over his hip, riding out his orgasm and clutching Theo tighter.

"That's it, Liam," Theo coaxes breathlessly, and he lets go only to wrap an arm around Liam and pull him in closer, helping him stay upright. Theo ducks his head, peppering small, likely-scratchy kisses over Liam's face, drinking in how fucking _perfect_ he looks with his face flushed and eyes dark with pleasure. 

"Just like that. Just for me. Love seeing you like this... Love you."

And he does. He fucking loves this man, and as Theo coaxes him through his orgasm, lets him rest for a minute or so, and then finally reaches a shaky hand out for the shampoo, he knows that's not going to change. Maybe later is going to suck. Maybe it'll all crash and burn, but he's in this again, and he's in it for the long haul.


	7. In time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The happy end is here! :)

* * *

  


* * *

After the shower, they dry off and Theo lends him some clothes - comfy sweatpants and a soft well-worn tee shirt. They smell like Theo's laundry stuff, which isn't bad, it's just new. Weirdly enough, Liam is looking forward to learning this home-owner version of Theo. While Liam's been working in one section of the home, it's not as if he's snooped around (too much). He doesn't know the kind of stuff Theo uses in his dishwasher, for example. He doesn't know if Theo does his own ironing for his suits or if they're dry-cleaned. 

But they've got time to learn all this random stuff that wasn't a part of their high school life and while it is scary, it's also exciting.

Breakfast is comfortable. Theo cooks up a mean scramble and Liam is in charge of the coffee. There are a lot of obvious appreciative glances that they try and steal while they're eating. Sunshine streams in from the gorgeous bay windows and more than a few times they catch each other and then break out into stupid grins. It's stupid, but perfect, and Liam's trying to deal with the fact that Theo looks even better today and _still_ gives him butterflies.

Liam charges his phone while they move to the living room and watch news and a few game shows to pass the time. It's clear that neither one of them wants to bring up the impending conversation with Hayden, but after lunch, Liam bites the bullet and texts Hayden that he'll stop by after supper. 

It's done. Scheduled. And Liam even let's Theo cuddle with him for a bit. Not that cuddling makes it all better, but it is nice.

Theo has some work to do, but Liam keeps him company in his office, getting a start on re-reading the first book of sci-fi series that he loved back in high school - _The Dread Doctor Chronicles_. It's super lame but sometimes it's exactly what he needs - to dive into the corny fantastical world of unlikely teenagers trying to battle whatever the hell the Dread Doctors happen to be (Liam may have finished the series but even he doesn't really know).

Apparently Theo kept his copies of the books. The books he forced on Theo when Theo moved away for school, telling Theo to read them when he needed a break from academic reality.

He's pulled up a chair beside Theo and every once in a while one of them will reach out and poke the other, just because they can. They also hold hands when Theo's able to, and it's nice. Liam tries to tell himself that this is going to be his life going forward - that Theo is with him - but even now it seems too good to be true. He doesn't voice any of these thoughts, his nerves trying to distract him from the ridiculous plot of the book.

* * *

Though it's self-destructive to think it, Theo's half-convinced that by the time the afternoon rolls around, Liam will have changed his mind about this whole thing. Theo doesn't force it along, doesn't do anything to jeopardize it, but he still can't help but worry that things in the light of morning might not be as colorful as they had been last night. 

There's no alcohol in his system, and Theo's not used to having someone in his space unless they're working for him. Liam's had a steady girlfriend for the last _seven years_ , and love or not, it's a lot to ask of him to break it off with her.

Anything could change. Anything could make him change his mind. And yet as the morning progresses, things don't get awkward. If anything, they get _better,_ and Theo isn't sure what to make of that. He cooks breakfast and Liam handles the coffee, and as Liam goes about turning on the coffee maker, Theo can't help but notice how good Liam looks in his clothes. He looks soft and happy, minus his mild nerves, and even through breakfast, nothing changes. It's... familiar. It's fond. 

Theo keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop right up until the moment that Liam sends the text to Hayden. Then something tense and knotted begins to unwind in his chest. There's still a chance that Liam could back out, but given how nervous Liam looks for the next hour, Theo doubts it. 

So, he does what he can before work. He invites Liam to the couch and pulls Liam in against his side, and Theo does what he can to distract Liam from later on that evening.

Eventually, though Theo hates to, he does need to get to work. Yet instead of fussing or getting frustrated, Liam tags along and grabs a book off of one of Theo's shelves. He settles in comfortably and it strikes Theo right then that this is feasible. That this could be his _life_ if everything goes well. 

Halfway through one of the files Theo's working on, he reaches a hand out quietly. Liam takes it and Theo laces their fingers together, and even though it's hard to type one-handed, or turn the pages of one of the books that Theo had kept all these years, it's worth it.

Theo winds up taking half of the day off, taking a sick day even though he doesn't technically need to. He reschedules two appointments with Liam sitting next to him, and as the seconds of the clock on the wall tick down, Theo eventually can't pretend that he doesn't notice Liam's growing tension. He pushes his laptop and files away and takes the book from Liam's hands, but instead of leaning over to kiss him, Theo stands and pulls Liam into a hug instead. 

It's somehow almost more intimate than the alternative, but Theo doesn't think that Liam needs any _more_ reasons to be reminded about later. And, pressing a kiss to Liam's forehead, Theo offers to cook a late lunch for them both provided Liam helps him out. 

It's a shameless excuse to distract Liam, but Liam agrees. There's always been something cathartic about cooking and cutting, and as Theo steals a glance at Liam and notes how much lighter his shoulders look a little later on, he feels like he'd made the right choice.

Unfortunately, as with all things that people tend to be dreading, time does wind up flying. The lighter mood from lunch begins to fade as the sky outside darkens, and when it's finally time, Theo wets his lips and finally gets to his feet, offering Liam a hand.

Theo's the one who winds up driving Liam back to his place so that he can grab a change of his own clothes. ("She doesn't need to see you in my clothes before you say anything," he explains when Liam looks confused.) Theo idles in his car, and as he waits in the silver Audi, he can't help but dwell on how much better it had felt with Liam in his old truck all those years ago. The car is flashy, sure, but maybe it's time to downgrade.

When Liam comes back, he looks anxious, but he still looks good. Theo swallows down a few nerves of his own, and when Liam eventually gives him Hayden's address, Theo reaches down to squeeze Liam's hand, his thumb stroking over Liam's knuckles. Then he takes off, driving to the place that Liam had specified. 

He's not stupid enough to park in Hayden's driveway, but he doesn't park too far away just the same. Rolling to a stop next to a park, Theo finally kills the engine and then reaches over again for Liam's hand.

"Hey. It's going to be fine, all right? You can handle this. And if you need anything, you know my number. I'm not going anywhere, and I'll be here after. I promise."

* * *

Liam can't believe that he'd forgotten he was wearing Theo's clothes. Not that he thinks his clothing is going to really be the big issue when he's going to be telling Hayden about what happened and what's going to happen. Thankfully, Theo's on top of it. While it's weird to be driven to _his_ own apartment, Liam doesn't complain. Honestly, he's kind of glad he doesn't have to drive. He's too keyed up for it.

Liam tries to not freak out as he runs into his place, stripping off Theo's comfy clothes and trying to decide what would be appropriate. He wonders if he should dress up - or dress nicer - but wait, wouldn't that be more awkward? Yeah. Probably. He settles on what he'd wear on any normal day if he were to go hang out with Hayden - comfy faded jeans and a blue long-sleeved henley shirt. There's no reason to dress up. 

With a deep breath, Liam glances around his apartment. There's so many memories here. Memories of Hayden, a few pictures of them. Not so many recent ones. It's going to be weird coming back and what, packing those photos away? Theo hasn't even been over here, but he will, right? Will they get pictures taken and framed? Will Theo even want to come over? Too much to think about, so Liam heads back out.

They don't talk much other than the occasional directions that Liam gives. It only begins to feel more real when Theo _doesn't_ park in Hayden's driveway. He gets it, but shit. _This is real._

Liam glances down as Theo takes his hand and he squeezes it back. "Yeah... yeah, I know," he says before looking up and flashing a hesitant smile in hopes of gearing himself up. 

"Okay, now or never, right?" A quick kiss and then he's climbing out of Theo's car and walking to Hayden's.

* * *

This is the part that Theo hates. He knows that this is the smartest option; he's seen his superiors engage in heated divorces in which the wife suddenly found out in the worst way possible, and he's seen the absolute worst possible outcomes too. 

Divorces don't always stay divorces, and looking at the case files of murders? That sucks even more, even if Theo's mostly been working them under a supervisory capacity. So, he knows that this is the smartest way to do things; Liam needs to tell Hayden himself.

It doesn't make it any easier to see the stress etched into Liam's face, or the worry in his eyes. Theo can just squeeze his hand, but he isn't the one to initiate the kiss. It seems like something Liam should do, because this is _his_ life that's changing. 

Still, Theo can't pretend that he's not relieved when Liam leans in and kisses him. It's quick and cursory, but given the circumstance, Theo hadn't been expecting anything. He feels... more settled as Liam answers him, and while Liam's still vibrating with tension, he does look more sure of himself when he turns and gets out of Theo's car.

Theo fidgets once Liam is gone, though he tries not to. He's expecting the worst but hoping for the best, for Liam's sake. Theo does consider sending Liam a text, something warm and filled with support, but he doesn't want anything to sway Liam's decision. 

Sending an _I love you_ text right now seems almost cheap, and so Theo folds his arms over the top of his steering wheel and taps out a rapid rhythm against it, trying to steel himself for the next few minutes. 

He'll go in if Liam needs him. He'll meet Hayden if he has to. He even might accept it if Hayden changes Liam's mind, though he'll hate it with every fiber of his being. He just... wants this to go as well as it possibly can, for Liam's sake. 

Theo might be a callous man in the courtroom. He might be driven and his morality might be in question sometimes, but he can't feel that way about Liam. 

He wants _Liam_ to be okay. 

* * *

With a grim focus, Liam gets out of Theo's car. He knows what he needs to do, he just doesn't know what's going to go down. But Hayden deserves the truth and Liam can't hide this. His life's getting turned upside down and the only way that he has a chance of not fucking everything up and maybe having a shot at making it out okay and happy, is if he does what's right.

Once he's at her door, Liam enters the code on the keypad. He may jolt at the sound of the deadbolt unlocking, but he takes a deep breath as he enters.

"Hey, it's me," is the first thing out of Liam's mouth, and already he can tell his voice is strained and tense, but Liam can't help it. He slips off his shoes as Hayden greets him, her voice sounding like it's coming from the living room, so that's where Liam heads to.

Hayden is wrapped in a snug blanket, looking relaxed and still beautiful. The TV is on mute. Liam can tell that she knows something is up. She isn't an idiot and Liam's always sucked at lying and hiding anything.

"Okay, you need to spill it, because you look like it's eating you up," Hayden says and then motions to the spot beside her on the couch.

With a tense nod, Liam makes his way over and sits next to her. 

To his credit, he doesn't need her to poke and prod him. He opens his mouth and he spills it - spills everything. She already sorta knew about Theo, but more as a 'guy that he dated while in high school that she shouldn't bring up because it ended badly' kinda way. Liam tells her that his current job is at Theo's place, that they reconnected and had hung out a few times. And Liam can see her putting two and two together before he even goes into the details.

Even so, Liam owes her the truth and he tells her about how he was attracted to Theo and felt conflicted over it, and how things then sort of snowballed into actual cheating, but it wasn't cheating just to be a complete scumbag, but something that had made him realize things about himself and their relationship.

"I feel like we just settled because it's comfortable and because we're used to each other... but neither of us really wanted to take the next step," Liam says carefully, his hands fidgeting in his lap as Hayden processes everything. "That doesn't excuse what I've done - because it was wrong and shitty - but I can't be with you. It's not fair to either of us."

"Do you love him?" she finally asks.

Liam nods. He's not going to lie about it. He can't. 

It's not that Liam expected Hayden to freak out or take it badly - which she totally had the right to do - but he's still so relieved and shocked that it's not going that way. Which sort of makes him feel worse because Hayden _is_ amazing and didn't deserve this. She tells him that the idea of them settling was also on her mind and it's been bothering her for a while. Apparently this is the kick in the ass they both needed.

While he's glad that they're on the same page, Liam knows it's going to be a big adjustment for the both of them. Considering how sudden everything is, they decide to meet up again to plan how things are going to go down. They both have some clothing and toiletries at each other's place so that needs to be sorted out. 

"I don't hate you," Hayden comments as Liam stands in preparation to leave. "I _am_ pissed at you, though, but I know we'll get through this. We've been friends for too long. Now get outta here."

All Liam can do is smile sadly as he feels a lump form in his throat. He turns around, heads to the entryway and quickly slips on his shoes. He doesn't bolt out of her house, it's a slower, heavier walk, because doing what he did - no matter how right it feels - was wrong to Hayden, and it also inadvertently involved her too. 

Life is messy, but Theo's car is still there and Theo's waiting for him. As Liam gets in, he flops to the side and rests his head against Theo's shoulder. 

It's done. It's not over. But it's a start. 

* * *

Ridiculous thoughts dart through Theo's mind the longer that Liam is inside Hayden's house. Little inklings that he should just go in there and rescue Liam from a potentially bad situation, or that he should go in and take the blame himself instead, maybe redirect Hayden's anger onto someone else. Someone who isn't Liam, even though Liam had been the one to make the final choice.

Theo doesn't do anything, though. He's not stupid enough to think that he could affect the outcome of this conversation. This is something that Liam has to do himself, but if this goes even half-well, Theo doesn't want Liam to have to face anything by himself ever again. This feels like they might have a real chance. Something that isn't cursory or fleeting. Maybe. Theo hopes they do...

He doesn't know how long he's been drumming his fingers on his steering wheel when the door to Hayden's house opens. Theo's fingers are cramped, but they freeze when Liam steps out of the house and begins to make his way to Theo's car.

His steps are heavy, almost plodding, and if Theo's being honest, it doesn't really bode well. Liam looks... rough. But despite Theo's nerves and his questions, he feels something solid settle in his chest. Something strong. Liam looks close to shattering, and as he opens the door to Theo's car and slides in - and then wordlessly leans in and rests his head on Theo's shoulder - Theo feels solid, his nerves shedding away. 

Liam doesn't need him to be asking questions right now. He needs support, and suddenly Theo _feels_ a thousand times more sure about everything than he had a few minutes ago. Not in a delusional way. Liam needs him to be strong right now.

Theo doesn't say anything at first. He lets Liam lean against his shoulder, though he does carefully slip his arm up and around Liam's shoulders, pulling him in closer. He turns his head enough to press a kiss to Liam's forehead and holds him.

"Do you want me to take you home?" He asks softly, the other offer - to go back to Theo's house instead - implied, but he doesn't want Liam to make that choice if he'd feel better at his own house.

* * *

It's done. Liam did it. Came clean. Confessed. Shared the scummy thing that he willingly did. While there is relief that it's over, he doesn't feel especially great. Theo holding him is better than if he were to be alone. That's something. 

Liam doesn't really know what to do now. A part of him thinks like he _should_ be alone and be stuck in what he's done, like some kid misbehaving and put in time out. Adults don't really get time outs. There's no easy fix. He doesn't get to say sorry, feel bad, then everything is magically fine.

Riding high on Theo, Liam was able to ignore the looming reality of what he was doing. It was them in a bubble of rediscovery and it felt so amazing and right, but flying high on their reunion can't be around all the time. That's not natural. And It's not as if Liam thinks he'll never be happy or like that again, it's just that... He can't be right now.

Hayden took it really well, but that doesn't make it any easier. Liam thinks he deserves getting in shit for what he did, and when that _didn't_ come? Where does that leave him? Maybe they were more like long suffering friends at the end, but that doesn't excuse what he did. It can't.

"I think I'd feel worse if I was at my place," Liam answers with a sigh. At home there's pictures of Hayden and him, there's some of her clothes in a drawer and the closet. He doesn't want to deal with that yet. But he lifts his head up, turning to face Theo. 

He offers a small smile. "So you'll be stuck with me for a bit longer."

* * *

"If I have my way, I'll be stuck with you for a _lot_ longer," Theo counters honestly, because there's something so small in the way that Liam answers him. He sounds beaten down and self-deprecating, but not broken. Whatever had happened had either gone so badly that Liam can't even comprehend it, or it had gone well enough that Liam feels adrift.

No matter. He might not _know_ what to do, but he knows what he's _going_ to do. All it takes is the sad little smile that Liam gives him for Theo to tighten his hold on Liam in a small, one-armed hug.

"All right, buckle up; I'm taking you back to my place."

Theo helps Liam get settled, and while he doesn't think either of them want him to focus on driving, he's not willing to compromise safety. He directs Liam to keep a hand on his arm (though that's more for him than for Liam), and Theo turns the car around, driving them back to his place.

Once he's there, he leads Liam back inside, one of his hands constantly on the small of Liam's back, or his shoulder. Just maintaining contact, trying to support in whatever way he can. 

Theo doesn't make Liam talk, just welcomes him in. Together, they slip their shoes off at the door and then Theo nods to the kitchen. His initial plan is to get Liam a drink - something strong, something that might help him take the edge off of... whatever he's feeling. But no sooner has he started to walk to the liquor cabinet then a flicker of memory hits him instead. 

It is... a risk, maybe, but maybe a risk is what Liam needs right now. Theo abandons the liquor and instead goes to the kettle. 

"Hey. How about you go to the living room and sit down? There's a blanket on the sofa and the remote for the fireplace is on the side table. I'll be there in a few. Promise."

It's a promise he keeps. It only takes him another four minutes or so, and when he joins Liam in the living room, he only looks slightly sheepish. Maybe a little uncertain. 

When he sits down next to Liam on the sofa, Theo silently hands him over a mug of cocoa, keeping the other one for himself. 

He remembers one awful night, a lifetime ago. Theo can't even remember _why_ Liam had been so upset. A grade, a fight with his friend, a fight with his Dad maybe, but he does remember making him a cup of hot chocolate when nothing else had seemed to work. Theo had just held him then, and as he holds out an arm to Liam now, it's to offer him the same thing. 

* * *

Liam's pretty sure that going to Theo's will be better. He knows he can't avoid his apartment forever. He'll have to suck it up and go through Hayden's things to return her stuff. The pictures of her and them? Liam's not quite sure what the protocol is for this kind of thing, but he doesn't just want to throw them away like he hates her or he wants to forget about her or them.

It makes sense that if it was some bad breakup, that Liam would get rid of everything, but that hadn't happened here. And Liam still cares for Hayden - he still loves her - he just doesn't think he's _in love_ with her anymore and it seems like it's the same for her. It's a relief, it really is, but Liam hopes they can still be friends. It's probably just going to take time.

Liam appreciates the fact that Theo doesn't make him talk about stuff right here and now. The drive back isn't memorable, but it doesn't have to be. Theo's next to him, his hand on his knee, a reassuring presence that Liam's grateful for. He's quiet and Theo lets him be. Liam feels a bit like a kid when he's lead into Theo's place, but Liam's too shocked to do anything about it. 

It stands to reason that Theo's home is going to get a lot more familiar to him and that's... good. It'll be okay. He's done the hardest thing, right? Coming clean? It's just Mason and his parents now. Oh, and then Scott.

His thinking is interrupted by the direction to head to the living room and wait. Liam pads over to the sofa, grabs the soft blanket and plops down. The sofa is comfortable and welcoming and it helps Liam start to relax. He realizes that his eyes had slipped shut when Theo's joining him. Blinking, Liam breaks into a smile as a mug of what looks like hot chocolate is passed over to him and he takes the invitation of cuddling.

"That's sweet," Liam says, taking the mug in both hands and bringing it up to his nose, inhaling the sweet chocolatey goodness. "Thanks, Theo. For everything."

* * *

Theo isn't going to pretend that he knows how Liam is feeling right now, because he doesn't. A lot has changed for him over the past few days, and as much as Theo wants to regret it, he doesn't. He still does feel for Liam, though. And, though he wouldn't have wanted it to turn out differently, he almost feels for Hayden as well. Not enough to try and convince Liam to go and take it all back, but enough for him to acknowledge that it's probably a really shitty feeling.

Right now, Theo's focus is on Liam, who smiles when Theo hands him the mug of cocoa, and Theo feels a small knot of tension unwind in his chest at the sight. He hadn't realized how desperately he'd wanted to see Liam smile until right this second. 

Liam takes the mug, and while he initially doesn't react to Theo reaching out, he does soften his posture enough that Theo closes the distance between them. Carefully easing closer, he reaches out and winds his arm around Liam, pulling him in against his side. Theo takes a second to really feel the warmth seeping through the blanket, and to really let it sink in that _this_ is likely going to be their lives now. 

Then, without a word, Theo turns his head and presses a kiss to Liam's forehead before they settle back on the sofa together.

"I told you. We're in this for the long haul. You and me, however it goes. And, assuming your tastes haven't changed after nine years, I think I remember hot chocolate being your comfort drink."

Theo lifts his own mug to his lips with a small smile and takes a sip. Maybe this is still new, and maybe it'll be hard, but they're in this together now. 

* * *

Liam thinks that Theo was considering getting alcohol, but that he didn't, and instead decided to go for hot chocolate. It _is_ sweet. Not that some fruity mixed drink wouldn't be welcome, but Liam feels like dulling himself with alcohol probably isn't a good idea. It's tempting, in a way. Get sloshed, maybe have a good time with Theo or pass out. But that's not what Liam really wants to do. 

After getting comfortable and stuck in his last relationship, hiding or escaping reality isn't an option he should take. He thinks it's like being present - something Mason was going on and on about once. At the time, mindfulness sounded like some hippy-thing, but maybe Mason was onto something.

The weekend seems like this crazy blur - like things happened so fast - but right now feels slow. Underneath the blanket, they're cuddled together, hot chocolate in hand. Both of their lives have been turned upside down. Maybe Liam has more to lose or deal with as Theo's more or less a one-man-island, but there's still going to be changes. Adjustments. Liam can't even think of everything that might be different. 

But he doesn't want to right now. He doesn't _have_ to.

The kiss to his forehead is still something that Liam finds a bit weird, but no one else has ever done it since Theo. It's a Theo-thing and Liam likes it. He likes that it's not gone, that some things haven't changed.

The long haul with Theo doesn't sound too bad at all.

"You were always too smart for your own good," Liam teases before taking an enjoyable sip. "I do occasionally like peppermint in it. That's new."

A thoughtful look crosses Liam's face. Just how many new things will they discover about each other? And what if they're bad?

* * *

Maybe it's been nine years since they'd been together like this, and maybe they'd only really been with each other officially for under a year, but as Theo sits there with the blanket around one shoulder and his arm wrapped around Liam, he knows that he's not making a mistake. If this crashes and burns, it'll be because they let it happen. If Liam decides to leave one day, Theo will fight for him, but if leaving is what Liam _really_ wants, he'll let him go. There are no guarantees in life. So, for now, Theo's going to enjoy what he does have.

Liam shifts against him, moving a little closer. With a small, sidelong glance, Theo smiles at him, watching as Liam lifts his mug up to sip at his cocoa. It's almost ridiculous how settled he feels just being with Liam like this, and after the high-stress of the last few hours, Theo thinks that a little time to relax and unwind will be good for them both.

Then Liam mentions _peppermint_ , and Theo's eyebrows lift. Liam hadn't been that fond of peppermint back in high school, but he still files that away. And, even as Liam's expression slowly eases into something almost thoughtful, Theo sips at his drink again and makes a small sound in the back of his throat.

"I'll keep that in mind. You'll have to let me know if anything else has changed. Especially if I'm going to cook for you; the last thing I want you to tell me is that asparagus is suddenly your favorite food, but spaghetti makes you gag. Don't think I could handle that one."

Theo offers Liam a small grin, clearly teasing, but when he realizes the thoughtful look on Liam's face is still there, Theo feels his smile fade just a bit.

"...We'll learn again," he says after a beat. "You and me. Likes and dislikes, changed tastes, what temperature you like the house set at, whether you're a fifteen-sugars kind of guy when it comes to coffee in the morning."

* * *

Liam isn't trying to be a downer. He doesn't want to be negative or expect the worst either. But he _also_ doesn't want to be delusional and naive and think everything's just gonna be fine and easy, because that's not real life either. There's gotta be some balance, but it's hard to be balanced when only a few days ago he was still with Hayden and only _thinking_ about Theo.

So much has changed in such a short time. Although horrible, the cheating isn't even the biggest thing - it's the fact that he still loves Theo and wants to be with him. Liam hadn't expected all the feelings to still be there. Attraction made sense. He'd been ogling Theo since he first laid eyes on him, and considering it'd been years since Liam was with a guy, it made sense.

But the feelings... The desperate desire to try things again because it feels _right?_ This is what surprises Liam, but it's there. Inside him. And he's not alone because Theo feels it too. 

New things are inevitable, but liking asparagus isn't going to be one of them. Liam tries to smile at the joke, but he just doesn't manage it - or at least doesn't manage it well enough because Theo notices.

Liam screws up his face, not necessarily happy to be caught getting stuck in his head. But when Theo reassures him - that they'll learn together - tension Liam hadn't even been aware of melts away. A more genuine smile forms on his face before Liam gives a fond sigh. 

"I may like sweet things, but fifteen sugars would be too much for me," he remarks. Liam leans into Theo more, happy to have the closeness. "School's never been my thing so I might be slower with learning, but I'm sure you can help." 

It's a joke. Considering that's how they met - Theo tutoring him - Liam thinks it's fair game.

* * *

Theo's not going to pretend that this isn't a huge adjustment for Liam. Having Liam back in his life is big for him, too, but Theo's known from day one that he has less to lose. He hadn't been the one caught between relationships, and there are no other complications for him. He'll still have Liam working on his house until it's finished, he'll still have his job, and he'll retain the friendships that he's made since working here again.

But Liam isn't so lucky. Maybe Theo will have to face the brunt of anger from people, but in a way, it almost feels like a fair exchange. Liam's the one who will need to figure out things with Hayden. He'll need to be the one to tell his parents, and any of his friends who had known. 

Liam's got the most to lose, and Theo _does_ feel guilty about that. He also knows that he'll be the first one to put himself between Liam and whoever tries to come at him. Right now, Liam's going through a lot. Theo has no issues taking the brunt of whatever anger happens to come their way.

He's not sure what he says that makes Liam smile, but when he sees the thoughtful, serious look melt away on Liam's face, Theo feels relief settle through him. He smiles at Liam in return, and at Liam's soft joke - a reminder of how they'd met in the first place - Theo chuckles and pulls him in closer to his side.

"Yeah, well. Lucky for you, I have a bit of experience in tutoring," he teases, inwardly marveling at how easy this teasing and closeness feels despite how bad things had probably gone for Liam earlier. The fact that Liam _can_ joke around with him still has warmth settling in Theo's chest. 

"I know things are going to be different, and we might take some time to adjust. I know you've got a lot of stuff you'll need to do. But I hope you know that I've got your back. If you need help, you tell me and I'm there. No questions asked. Okay?"

* * *

Liam doesn't think it's worth it to compare who has more to lose or who's taking a bigger risk. It's never really been about competing like that. Obviously Theo is doing better than Liam is - financially or whatever - but money's never been a driving force in Liam's life, and it's not as if he's moving in or they're getting married and finances would matter.

Christ, just _thinking_ about these future things as possibilities makes Liam's stomach flip flop, and not entirely in a bad way. With Hayden, it always felt nerve-racking when his parents teased him about getting a move on and popping the question. Liam had no reason to fear commitment because they'd been together so long. Technically, he's known Hayden longer than Theo, but with Theo... 

Liam would take all the risks, and even knowing that doesn't scare him that much. When you're with the right person, maybe that's how it's supposed to feel.

It's low hanging fruit to go for some teasing about all the things Theo could maybe "teach him" and Liam doesn't go for it. He thinks it's a direction to take another time. 

Tucked close against Theo, Liam's careful to not spill any of his hot chocolate because that would suck. The assurance that comes his way actually does reassure him. Liam trusts that Theo _will_ help him and _won't_ question him to death over things. Normally Liam would assume that him having an ex and needing to deal with her would be a big deal, but he doesn't feel that way. 

This is going to work - _they're_ going to work. 

Liam takes in a deeper, slower breath before exhaling just as slow. 

"Yeah," he finally says. "I know you got my back." After taking another sip of his drink, Liam carefully leans forward to put the mug down on the glass coffee table in front of them. He leans over, laying his head on Theo's shoulder. 

"I want you to know that you can trust me," Liam goes on to say. "I'm _not_ a cheater."

* * *

Maybe Liam will never tell him exactly what went on in the house with Hayden, but Theo doesn't think he cares whether or not Liam does. It's not important. Not compared to everything else. 

One day, if Liam tells him, that'll be great. Theo will do what he can to help and they'll tackle it together. But if that's something that Liam keeps to himself, Theo will respect that. He can't pretend like Liam and Hayden hadn't meant something to each other, and he understands that there are parts of Liam's life that are _his_. When he'd been younger, maybe he would have been indignant. Now, he's just relaxed about it. 

Because Liam is _here_. On Theo's sofa, wrapped in one of his blankets, holding one of _his_ mugs, and drinking _his_ hot chocolate. But one day, hopefully not too far off, Liam will be holding one of _their_ mugs. It's a hope for the future.

At his side, Liam agrees with him and lifts his mug for a drink. Theo does the same, but when he sees Liam leaning over to put the mug down, Theo follows suit. He doesn't know what Liam has planned, but he can't deny the visceral-yet-simple pleasure that rushes through his chest when he leans back on the sofa and Liam leans in closer, resting his head on Theo's shoulder.

Theo goes still, but in a good way. He glances at Liam with a small, warmer smile, and he tightens his hold around Liam's waist, pulling the blanket around him more securely. 

They stay like that for a while, drinking in the comfort of this new-yet-familiar silence. So, when Liam speaks up again, his voice quiet, Theo gives him a small squeeze and nods, leaning his cheek against the top of Liam's head.

"I know you're not a cheater. I'm the one who pushed you, because I hoped that maybe you still felt the way I do. I want you to know - _really_ know - that you're not a bad person. And I want you to know that _I'm_ not a cheater either," Theo adds, seriously. 

"I know some of this is going to be messy, but I know that _all_ of it is going to be worth it."

Under the blanket, Theo seeks out Liam's hand, lacing their fingers together. 

"I'm in this for the long haul, Liam. With you." 

* * *

Liam remembers when he stupidly thought Theo was cheating on him back in high school, how he snuck out early to try and catch him in the act, only to find out that Theo had picked up another overnight shift at the grocery store to make extra cash. After an awkward talk, it had all turned out great. They'd had their six-week anniversary celebration days later even...

It's important to Liam that Theo knows he isn't a cheater. That he may have cheated on Hayden, but that's not fundamentally _who_ he is. After all, he'd been with Hayden for seven years and never done anything. Until Theo. 

And it's not as if Liam didn't kinda encourage it too. It'd be easy to blame Theo for coming back and trying things... but Liam never said no. Liam was all-too-eager to hang out and be around Theo again. 

Like a magnet, Liam wanted to zing right over to Theo and be close in any capacity. They're both responsible for what's happened. It takes two to do the cheating tango.

Their first relationship didn't start like this at least, and Liam wants Theo to know that he takes relationships seriously, that just because _this_ most recent one got crazy quickly, that he's not looking for it to continue to be crazy. 

It's not a surprise that Theo assures him and states that he knows that Liam's not a cheater. Liam figures that he likely already knew that Theo believed that, but it's important for him to say it out loud anyway. _Communication_ is important, even if it's not always easy. 

Being next to Theo like this, having him close is a comfort that makes the messiness more bearable. Liam gratefully laces their fingers together and squeezes Theo's hand. Despite these monumental changes, he's not freaking out.

"Me too," Liam murmurs as he closes his eyes and breathes in slowly through his nose before exhaling out of his mouth. He can't wait for Theo's specific scents to become familiar again to him. And they will, in time. 


End file.
